Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: So many female subs


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: So many female subs Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 5:49:43 PM   
ManOwner


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

Also, don't put a picture of your crotch as your profile picture. We don't care how small your willy is. No matter how big it is we can always buy a dildo that is bigger. So just leave those pics out unless we ASK for them.



I am so adding that to my profile.

(in reply to ManOwner)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 5:56:00 PM   
LadyJC


Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline
I've been hurt by men many times. I'm not dominant because I hate men (ok that's not entirely true men can be a pain in the ass) then again so can women as my brother keeps reminding me.
I'm dominant because I like control, I get a rush knowing that person has trusted me so much that I can tie them down and do as I wish, knowing they're at my complete mercy until I decide to let them go. I am respectful of all subs, we are people first than we are what we label ourselves.
For me going into dom space is just like sex, yet much better. Afterwards I sit there with a huge smile on my face and would kill for a smoke. Then all of a sudden I get this sudden calmness over me and I want to sleep.
Being a dom isn't something I do in order to protect myself from men, it's something I do because I am.
LadyJC

(in reply to ManOwner)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 6:51:30 PM   
maleslavemaid


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
[image][/image]
quote:

[/quot

e]

(in reply to LadyJC)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: So many female subs - 9/12/2005 9:05:32 AM   
FootBottom


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
I think I was misunderstood or represented what I meant the wrong way.. I am not talking about Hatred for men, but rather the fact that females are often hurt by Males in there vanilla relations... and in turn, Many Females I would think would like to be able to be Dominant against a Male in return for the pain they had felt in the past... just to see what it feels like to dominate or control a Male. That's all I meant.

(in reply to maleslavemaid)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: So many female subs - 9/15/2005 10:34:47 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Being dominant isn't about turning tables, FootBottom. It's about love, not hate. Submissive women watch out for men who pose as doms because they hate women; I'd assume submissive men ought to take the same advice.


Well said, LaM!


_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: So many female subs - 9/15/2005 11:01:46 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Being dominant isn't about turning tables, FootBottom. It's about love, not hate. Submissive women watch out for men who pose as doms because they hate women; I'd assume submissive men ought to take the same advice.
Very good point to make, though must tell you that I was having this discussion off the boards with a friend, and my feeling that a lot of so called male subs don't appear to me to love women; sometimes I get a feeling from some subs that even though they want to sub to women, they oftentimes sub from a place of hate/negative emotions toward women. I could be wrong of course. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: So many female subs - 9/16/2005 12:08:56 AM   
buffiyum


Posts: 119
Status: offline
thank you truesubboy for posting this topic. Like so many topics on here it brings up interesting pointes.
i have heard this before from Ones, that there are so many female submissives/slaves looking for Masters and Mistresses out there .... mostely Ones who then go on to suggest to the girl that she should beg Their Collar before some other luckyducky does.
This has not been buffys experience though to be honeste. i have not found this to be so.
i think from all the comments on here in this subject that the following is probably most valid from buffy's point of view (and i could be wrong, god knows i have been wrong before and will be again):
There are a lot of 'Dom/mes' but not experienced 'Dom/mes' or even 'Dom/mes' who truly live or wish to live, the Life in r/l.
There are a number of submissives female both online and in r/l, but more in online than in r/l.
There are more submissives male online than exist at all, ever ever, in r/l. my Friends Who are Dommes Local often find that those do not show up for initial meetings or once they do show, are not all that 'submissive' let alone 'slavish' as they purported to be online.
In r/l at least on Vancouver Island, it seems to be more a 'C/couples' thing then many Dom/mes looking for many subbies/slaves. Often it is Couples or C/couples, looking for subbie/slave who are female for threesomes of a sexuale nature.
There is more to this but for now the girl think it is time for sleep.
well wishes to A/all.
buffiyum

(in reply to ManOwner)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: So many female subs - 9/16/2005 4:03:24 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Statistically speaking (using legitimate surveys, not head counds of self-identifying online personas), considering all sexes and orientations (to include gay & lesian leather), the largest orientation segment in the Scene are submissive males. This is followed closely by submissive females, Dominant males, and the rarest is the Dominant female.


I doubt that you will ever see a valid study carried out that attempts to quantify the proclivity for dominance along gender lines. Those who are in a position to carry out such a study simply don't want to know. There have been studies done where men were put in situations where they'd either have to assert dominance, or demure to try to establish that the tendency to assert dominance is cultural, not inate. Science (especially behavioral science) gets done to prove or disprove some premise. If you end up proving some premise that your study wasn't set up to prove or disprove, it's an accident. Some premises aren't politically acceptable to address, and so you won't see any "peer reviewed studies" that comment on them one way or another.

The primary factor at work in the numbers that you are throwing around is that people will tend to gravitate toward the "scene" to get something they need, but that is hard or risky to seek out, in the "normal" community. If you did a count on collarme, for example, to try to figure out what percentage of the female population is lesbian, you'd come away with a really, really skewed number. It's hard to fathom that submissive men could not find women willing to pussy-whip them outside the scene in this day-and-age, or that women coudn't find men willing to be pussy-whipped. More than likely most of those who gravitate toward the scene don't really want to engage in D/s so much as have their "kinks" served.

The other factor at work is that 70% of internet users are still male. You'll always see more men (of all stripes) on a site like collarme than women until that changes (and it is changing, slowly). Sites like collarme will also attract a number of men even more disproportionate than the general internet population because it is percieved to be sex/pornography related. As "liberated" as we think we are, there still isn't a significant market for pornography among women. Even though they would never comment about it publically, it was widely known among advertisers that the most prominent pornographic magazine for "women" (Playgirl) was subscribed to and read mostly by gay men. Collarme doesn't show membership statistics, as one of it's competitors whose name begins with an "A" does, but it's a pretty safe bet that the membership of collarme is also around 90% male. You'll see women better represented in areas of the site like chat and discussions, because those features appeal more to them than they do to men, who tend to be here to look at pictures of naked women and try to get sex partners through private e-mail.

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: So many female subs - 9/16/2005 4:30:24 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

No matter how big it is we can always buy a dildo that is bigger.


Kind of misses the point, doesn't it? I'm sure he can always make his fist smaller than whatever's between your legs too. Masturbation does provide a degree of indepenance, I'm sure, but it's still masturbation, not to be confused with sex with another human, is it not? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we've evolved to the point where everything is masturbation, the only question is whether you use an organic or inorganic aid. I'm vaguely dissatisfied with that notion somehow, but hey, that's just me.

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to QueenVamp)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: So many female subs - 9/16/2005 4:36:42 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas
I doubt that you will ever see a valid study carried out that attempts to quantify the proclivity for dominance along gender lines. Those who are in a position to carry out such a study simply don't want to know. There have been studies done where men were put in situations where they'd either have to assert dominance, or demure to try to establish that the tendency to assert dominance is cultural, not inate. Science (especially behavioral science) gets done to prove or disprove some premise. If you end up proving some premise that your study wasn't set up to prove or disprove, it's an accident. Some premises aren't politically acceptable to address, and so you won't see any "peer reviewed studies" that comment on them one way or another.


It's not so much "political acceptablity" since there are an increasing number of qualitative studies of the BDSM community appearing both in the journals and in dissertations.

The major problem with any quantitative study of BDSM is that the "universe" is unknown and pretty much unknowable. To project findings beyond "this is what the people who responded said" to "this is what this larger group is" requires that a random sample be studied.

I can't cover everything about sampling in a post (I have whole books on the subject) but one general requirement is that the entire groups has to be enumerated. For example, polls of voters use voting rolls; polls of car owners use registry lists; polls of doctors use licence lists. There have been some classic goofs in this. One famous study during the Depression used the telephone book. The people doing it forgot that in those days only relatively wealthy people had phones. They had Landon winning the presidency by a landslide.

Until a researcher can come up with a list of every kinky person in the US, no one can take data from one study and say "this is how kinky people in the US would respond to these questions."

Oh, there are internet polls. There even have been some [shuddder] dissertations written from them, but in the end all the researchers can say is is along the pattern of "of the 50/500/10,000 people who responded to my question, 20 percent report they are female submissives." Projecting it to a larger group is ethically impossible.

I've done surveys of smaller groups, including one of every member of The Eulenspiegel Society in 1992, but those findings ONLY reflect the group studied, not any larger universe.




_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: So many female subs - 9/16/2005 4:59:33 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Until a researcher can come up with a list of every kinky person in the US, no one can take data from one study and say "this is how kinky people in the US would respond to these questions."


Agreed. I was talking about the general population, not just "kinky" people. Again, nobody who is in a position to find out really wants to know whether men are more prone to asserting dominance (sexual or otherwise) than women. I think that most folks have a pretty good idea, but you aren't going to see any studies on the subject anytime soon. It's more correct to say that individuals differ, rather than look at trends along any politically sensitive line (like gender or race). If you can do a study that doesn't gore anybody's ox (like the one I mentioned that looked at the differences between southern white men and northern white men) that's OK, but there are some groups that, at least when it comes to behavioral science, it's not OK to compare.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 9/16/2005 5:23:59 AM >


_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: So many female subs - 9/16/2005 10:42:24 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
Dominance--male dominance or female dominance--isn't about revenge. It isn't about getting back at a person, or at a group. It is about being yourself and truly -caring- about another person's life, enough that you are willing to take full responsibility for that person's life, to the measure that they are willing to release responsibility to you. It is a synergy, not a war.

Ironically, the women who have been the most abused and feel like they are the most victimized by men make the -worst- "responsible parties", whether they are D/s dominants or bosses. The goal is "off" for them--it isn't about mutual exploration and development, it is about "getting even", "getting their own way" and "taking what they deserve, whether it is offered or not". People like this aren't dominants--they are really disturbed individuals who need to get out of victim mode and heal their own lives and perceptions. The last thing I'd want to do is put them in a position where there is the temptation to victimize someone else like they've been victimized until they have a chance to heal.

Lady Zephyr
quote:

ORIGINAL: FootBottom

Ok, I have to say something guys - In Today's day and age... the "girl-power" age as they call it - I find it absolutely mind-boggling that there is such a short supply of Dominant females. With all the disrespectful Males out there in normal everyday relations and relationships, one would think and Expect there to be MANY females that have been hurt by males and thus would like some sort of "revenge" - to "turn the tables" - on a Male... and yet there is such short supply of the female dominant. Just something I wonder about.


(in reply to FootBottom)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: So many female subs - 9/16/2005 8:09:01 PM   
wetshoe


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
nice avatar manowner!

_____________________________

wetshoe
http://www.abusedshoes.com
http://www.muddyhighheels.com
http://www.highheeledcatfights.com
http://www.alexiskaylee.com

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: So many female subs - 9/26/2005 6:07:27 PM   
NYMaster101


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline
Believe me, there is a real shortage of good fem subs. I am having difficulty finding just one.

(in reply to ManOwner)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: So many female subs - 9/26/2005 6:16:09 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenVamp

I really loved EvilGeoff's comment of:

quote:

IF you want to be selected you need to be an outstanding example of honesty, humilty, service, and civility. You need to stand above the rest in courtesy and mannerisms. Be bright, vivacious, be conversant with things that interest _her_. Throwing yourself at her without being invited, using over the top, "I'm a lowly worm, use me as you wish, Mistress" nonsence will usually get you ignored.


He is completely correct!

Also, don't put a picture of your crotch as your profile picture. We don't care how small your willy is. No matter how big it is we can always buy a dildo that is bigger. So just leave those pics out unless we ASK for them.


YES!!! Thank you! Master and I have a profile up on alt, too, and it's nauseating how many men (and let's be fair, women do it too) have a crotch shot for their profile pic. We've SEEN those before!!! And to have a dick or clit staring you in the face when you're trying to read a profile is just unnerving, so I ignore those profiles completely. I'd rather see no pic at all than a close-up of someone's willy.

Except for one I saw... I felt a small twinge of envy when I saw it, 'cause there were several big, long needles stuck through it and I wasn't the one who put them there. At least it was creative.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to QueenVamp)
Profile   Post #: 35
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: So many female subs Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.055