How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (Full Version)

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ApociaKaoi -> How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/27/2005 10:07:16 PM)

For those who have read my previous post, "Self improvement," you know the details of the situation my Mistress and I are in. I promised her that I would ward off touching myself, and, more importantly, cumming without her. She will be gone for a year or so, and I need to find a way to keep from doing it for this period of time. Willpower and the thought of displeasing her will work for awhile, but she has spoiled my body, letting me cum for her, usually, every three days. If anyone can offer any help, I would be very grateful. Also, I have promised myself to her for life, and have also sworn my virginity to her, our actual physical sex life has consisted of masturbating with the other as to preserve my virginity for our wedding day and due to distance between us. Any help their will also be helpful. Thank you, and have a nice day.



perverseangelic -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/27/2005 10:19:20 PM)

This will probably be little help, but...just don't do it.

Don't expose yourself to situations that arouse you.



softandshy -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/27/2005 10:40:44 PM)

Suppose you could wear a chastity belt but that might be considered cheating. Ask her. Perhaps it's not if you volunteer and ask for her help in this regard.



ApociaKaoi -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/27/2005 11:06:32 PM)

Thank you both for replying. I cant ask her since she cut off comunications between us, atleast not for a few days when her dorm gets the internet and I can say goodbye. We were considering a chasity cup/device a long time ago for a different event but it would only last for a week. It was plastic to keep me, or her if the situation ever arose, from cutting free. Once again, thank you so much. Hitting the hay now, but will reply again tomorrow. Night, all.



LadyJulieAnn -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/28/2005 5:52:42 AM)

In my opinion, it's highly unrealistic and unhealthy to prevent release for that period of time. Perhaps she can implement short periods of time to impose those constraints on you. I personally believe that if she is going to have you do that, she also needs to show support in some way and be available for communication on a regular basis.

Be well,
Julie



ApociaKaoi -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/28/2005 7:55:27 AM)

It would be really nice if she could, and I agree with you to an extent. She wants to enjoy her first year of college to the fullest though, and doesnt want to have to deal with a long distance relationship. She also mentioned once or twice how this will show her that I can be strong without her, and that my actions this year will prove that I love her. Thank you so much for replying and giving me your honest opinion, it means the world to me.



Hissweetshiv -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/28/2005 11:25:02 AM)

Since i don't know you or your Domme personally, of course i don't know for sure - however, this sounds to me like "I'm off to party - you stay here and wait." A year is a long time to go with no contact. Quite frankly, the masturbation wouldn't be an issue for me, but the year with no contact would. I wish you luck if this is what you want but i couldn't do it - guess i'm too high maintenance lol.



ElektraUkM -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/28/2005 11:54:32 AM)

This is probably going to sound really 'off' and I hope no-one is mega-offended. err... (rewording over and over in my head...)....

How can one person expect this kind of behaviour (and I'm not mainly talking about orgasm-denial, but the denial as a whole) from another human being? How can anyone deny themselves for that long, while the person they're 'involved with' does just as they please? A year? And you're both so young? I have to wonder if she's serious, and if so, are you..? I don't mean to sound mean and dismissive... but are you sure this is a great idea?

Just like to say that I don't usually post such 'negativity', and I'm usually really accepting of everyone's 'kink'... but in this case, it just came to the front of my mind.

Also... not to be crude, but... you're going to orgasm... probably several times, in your sleep? Unless someone can give you a good way of avoiding that..?

Good luck anyway, and I hope things aren't as bleak as they seem in my mind :)

~ Elektra



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/28/2005 2:04:02 PM)

I think it's more than a little unfair that your mistress is going to be dating and having sexual relations with others, according to your other post, for a YEAR while you aren't even allowed to get yourself off. Frankly, I wouldn't do it. It sounds as if she wants to not only have her cake, but eat it too. She enjoys the idea of being able to freely do whatever or whoever she chooses, while you sit at home for a year locked in a mental chastity belt. It could be fun if it was a week...maybe a month. But it's not. It's a year and it's not healthy. If there's even a SLIGHT chance that you two won't be together again, rather permanently, next year, get rid of her quickly. Because what are you going to do for the following three years of her college career that you won't be able to get off? What are you going to do several years down the road if she decides to play this "game" with you again? It's unhealthy emotionally and physically. Just tell her no.



ApociaKaoi -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/28/2005 7:20:01 PM)

The year from masturbation was actually started by me while I was in an emotional state, after I heard about the year off, but was later taken in by both parties, me mainly being lost in my loyalty to her and fear of angering her since she became really hard to talk to about our time away as time went on. I dont know how things will go, but she didnt say that she definately would sleep with another, just that she reserved the right and may. I really do trust her, and while it will hurt if she is with another, I can understand due to the distance and her being in college now as opposed to just being able to spend time with me instead. I am more concerned about being able to keep to it as best as possible without ruining my sexual drive, and increasing any danger to certain parts. As a person already going through a testicular cancer scare, and with a Mistress who has always stressed the importance of us remaining healthy I am concerned.
I think I may have painted a bad picture of her earlier in my remaining distress from her leaving and spending days/nights without her. She really is a great person, and does her best not only for us, but for people in general. She has my utmost respect with or without our relationship, and I am proud to be an acquaintance of her, much less her pet/slave/etc and mate.
Lastly....Thank you all so much for replying, not only to those who have helped, but to those who have just replied in general as well. You all have warmed my heart, and I thank you sooooo much.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/28/2005 7:46:56 PM)

I don't think it's necessarily unfair, or wrong, or unrealistic.

I do question the point and fulfillment to be gained on this. This dominant is apparently throwing around rules and tasks with absolutely no guidance or understanding.

The whole situation reeks of desparation and selfishness, rather than actually building towards a better relationship.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/29/2005 12:05:49 AM)

quote:

It would be really nice if she could, and I agree with you to an extent. She wants to enjoy her first year of college to the fullest though, and doesnt want to have to deal with a long distance relationship
I don't think it's a good idea to keep you chaste for that long, and don't think it's healthy. I don't know what possible pleasure she could derrive from this outside of assuaging her feelings of desperation and selfishness (as Emerald pointed out) and wanting you available to fall back on in case her college experience doesn't turn out as fruitful as she imagined.
I don't understand why you two could not see each other every few months...Why is it you want to deal with the relationship if she doesn't?
Sorry for being negative, but this doesn't sound right to me. M



plantlady64 -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/29/2005 11:18:34 AM)

Hello There,
I think your Mistress is setting you up to fail. I've heard if a man doesn't mastrubate or cum of his own accord eventually things build up and erupt anyway. Usually it happens when you're asleep. I've heard that's where wet dreams come from.
I think with the no communication for a year issue that she's basically dumping you, and wants to have you to fall back on if she does not find a lover that pleases her more before she returns.

Being she's givin you an impossible task and is not investing her time even on the phone with you for the next year I'd move on if it was me personally.

You will have to do as you see fit of course, just remember no contact for a full year will change things between you very much. How will you feel if she does move on after you spent this year tortured and lonely for no good reason is something you need to consider.

Good luck to you as you seem like a good boy & deserve better than this,
sub suzanne



haematopoiesis -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/29/2005 11:49:25 AM)

There are plenty of people who go from having a lot of sex to having no sex at all for a long period of time who do not suffer any damage to their genetalia or general well-being. Well, unless you count the occasional flash of overwhelming desire that you have to curb off. Really, it's a question of will power.

Just last year my husband went from ejaculating once or twice a day to no release for seven months. The first month was hard, the second month was worse, the third month was horrid, the fourth was a little easier, and then it started getting hard again. The seventh month was the worst, because he knew that he was close to the end.

There are hundreds of men in the world who go without release for longer periods than a year. Some for their entire lives.. some who ejaculate sparingly, and only when they decide to procreate with their wives.

It is somewhat unfortunate that you've promised to withold touching all together. Sometimes a few minutes of massage while witholding orgasm and ejaculation (two seperate things) can help you get through it a little easier.

Just be determined, and you can do it. One day at a time, as they say.

Good luck!


... oh, and ease into it when you do go back to it. You'd be surprised how quickly you can exhaust yourself if you go hog wild after not having had release for a year.



littleone35 -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/29/2005 12:31:36 PM)

This is really whacked to me. She can go and screw all the guys an college and you can''t even pleasure yourself. I think you should have a talk with her. if you are pleasuring youself you are not cheating on her like she is with you. You are still very young are you sure this lifestyle is what you want? Just be very sure.

littleone



ApociaKaoi -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/29/2005 2:25:56 PM)

I cant stress these things enough, this situation is my fault. I fucked up, and she is recovering from it. She not only has the right to do what she wants, she deserves the right. I tried to make that more clear earlier but I failed. My Mistress is truly a saint people, she has stood by me and put up with more than she ever had. I have tried to put this as obvious as possible without outright saying it, but I feel that I must now. So here it comes:

I did not think of myself as a good person, and definately not worthy of anything, much less something as her. I could try to say this in my own words, but someone else's hides no truth.

"Over 50% of the things that came out of your mouth were lies" Not only was I lying about to her about it hopes of me becoming that person for her, but to myself. I was literally living in a dream world where I believed that life existed...I never lied about my feelings though. Understandably she was/is hurt, and while he have gotten along since then, and still been as cute as ever, some wounds close hard, for both of us. Think about it this way, I couldnt say it directly untill it was pointed out to me that the bad picture of her. This year off is for us, and to see what else is out there. The mention of the sexual parts was in hopes that advice of how to deal with that, which there understandably was none. This year is here for me to prove myself, see "Self Improvement"

Old wounds have been opened as a result of this, so you will excuse me if I dont reply here for awhile.



Lordandmaster -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/29/2005 9:46:27 PM)

I think these are your alternatives:

1. Wear a chastity device.
2. Chop off your nuts.
3. Break up with her.



fastlane -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/30/2005 7:26:27 AM)

I tend to agree with LordandMaster on this one, but I don't like the first two alternatives.

This sounds like a most unreasonable request from your Mistress.
I can understand not getting off with someone else, but you should be able to release yourself......We're talking a Friken YEAR here man!


"Release the Hounds!"



sub4hire -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/30/2005 7:50:02 AM)

quote:

In my opinion, it's highly unrealistic and unhealthy to prevent release for that period of time.


I believe the same. I seem to recall some sort of documentation I read a while back. I'll try to find it. The title is not in my head at the moment so it may take some time to bring back to the forefront to find.
Aside from that just self restraint. Good luck.



KatyLied -> RE: How to keep from self-pleasuring self for a year (8/30/2005 8:10:36 AM)

No masturbation for one year = DEAL BREAKER!

That seems extreme to me.



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