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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I think the problem here is more than her not wanting to obey.

Caffine like nicotine and alcohol and chocolate too are all drugs. You can emotionally and physically become addicted to them. You may want to help her but ask yourself if this is really something you want to set up rules about (is it reasonable and will it succeed) because if the rule is there, you have to enforce it.

Punishment is never fun for either person -- I'm talking the real deal here not pretend "punishment" or CP or spanking or other things that often are called "punishment" but which are for fun.

I'd personally not make a rule like that but instead work on a reward system. For every bit of caffine she cuts back on she gets a "good girl" or a hug or something like that. Re-enforce her decision to try and be more healthy.

Use the rules for other matters she should be able to exercise more control over like calling you "milady" or bowing when she enters a room or orgasming without permission. But make it something you have a reasonable chance of controlling and which is very important to you so you never forget to enforce it.

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ORIGINAL: Gwynsbitchboi

When I do somethin gmy Domme doesn't want me to do, I usually end up being told to wet myself on the spot, whether we are out in public or in private...Needless to say, I've found obedience is easier than doing laundry every day

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The way you're trying to wean her off caffeine isn't working. Try a different method.

You don't mention what she drinks. If coffee, then have her mix one can caffeinated with one can decaf and brew the amount she uses in a day. Have her get a thermos and bring it with her. After those cans are done, two cans decaf with one caff.

If Iced Tea, same thing. She's to make it herself from decaf and caff tea and mix it one to one.

Coke? How many cans/bottles in a day? Bring one can of each.

No buying anything caffeinated out. Just decaf. Makes thinking about stuff easier. I'll have a decaf latte with soy milk please. Same order every time.

Remembering while dealing with withdrawal is going to be difficult. You need to do more education on the withdrawal/addiction process than you have.

Don't make her go cold turkey though. She'll have headaches lasting for a week straight, won't be able to focus on work, on driving etc.

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ORIGINAL: darchChylde

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If coffee, then have her mix one can caffeinated with one can decaf and brew the amount she uses in a day.

BLASPHEMER!!!

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ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear Keun, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
There have been many good replys thus far.
 
I agree with addiction to anything, regardless if drugs, alcohol, soda, food, cigarettes and the like, this grew and it wasn't a sudden 'habit.'  Habits are sometimes caught but, most times I find people not really aware of doing something as it is second nature.
 
Perhaps putting masking tape on a bottle and assign a time to it.  Other bottles can be given times and or times with dates, as to really have a schedule.  Logging her consumption first and establish a pattern to work from.  Stretching the total out and then removing one bottle of soda out of the total and in turn, put the cost of one soda into a jar like a bank.  Finances will be visible and a marker of success.  If she wants to buy something, it has to come from the money jar (if at all possible). 
 
Perhaps taking smaller glasses, such as juice glasses and fill with ice cubes and then pour the soda in and limited to a bottle; it will be a visible trick that she is getting more than she really is.  You can start with mid-size glass or a large if you wish but, fill it with ice and work down to a shot glass.
 
Perhaps having chewing gum as an alternative for soda, it can delay the need/desire for a soda a bit. 
 
It is cruel to have a soda and your submissive deprived.  Drinking together helps, especially when its just water.  Adding some limes, lemons, a bit of mint as to take the bland taste out of water will help.  Make Kool-Aid without sugar, take some and freeze it in the ice cube tray, then add into a glass with water or Kool-Aid may be fun also.
 
Everybody needs praise, appreciation and to know they are important.  Addicts need as much support as possible and also kindness. 
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 

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ORIGINAL: Kitte9

I have a suggestion. This has nothing to do with D/s, but it has helped my father curb his consumption of caffiene. My mother started buy ing decaf for him, but he got headaches. So she began mixing the regular and decaf together, and he didn't notice the difference from full strength. She has since found half caffinated coffee and he drinks that without a problem. I'm reasonably sure they have it all over, but if not, just try mixing the two and I bet she won't notice. In this way you can immediately benfit her health, and work on the D/s side as you need to.
Respectfully,
Kitte

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ORIGINAL: pixelslave

Keun,
In addition to the many excellent replies you've received regarding the caffeine addiction, I'd like to add a few thoughts of my own on a couple things you've mentioned which haven't been addressed.  You've said your sub has ADD, and such to my way of thinking has special needs and may require a different kind of approach to learning new tasks such as bringing your orange juice to you in the morning; something someone with ADD would easily forget to do while getting lost in other things.  I hope you'll consider learning more about this disease, the medications which can help, along with the many techniques that are useful in helping people cope with having and dealing with this often devastating disease.
 
This may not at all be a case of intentional disobedience, but instead one of limitations that you sub naturally has.  Your job as her dominant would seem to me to be to help her learn to find new ways to cope with having them, thus helping improve the quality of both your lives and the D/s relationship that you'd like to have with her.  For someone with ADD, saying "I forgot" may ge a genuine & totally legitimate answer, and not just an excuse for someone with ADD.  I genuinely hope, you'll take the time to learn more about this illness and what you can do to find new ways to help her restructure her day while learning to cope with it.  I believe there are many organizations which meet in most communities to help individuals and families learn to deal with the problems associated with the disease (Google ADD, ADD Resources, and ADD Support).  The many things which you think are "simple" to you, may actually be very difficult for someone with this disease.  Adjusting your expectations, and finding tasks she can more easily be successful at, will help her self esteem and make you both feel as though your D/s relationship is growing successfully.
 
Finally, I'm very pleased to see you never mentioned punishment in your OP for her perceived failures to sucessfully perform the tasks which you've assigned to her.  To my way of thinking, when there's outright disobedience, it's time to talk and reassess. not to punish one's sub.  Often there's a failure to understand or something else going on that can only be resolved by open & honest communication.  Punishment only seems to help in a loving relationship to drive a wedge between the two of you and doesn't build the bond that helps each other grow as Domme and sub who want to have a successful relationship.
 
 - pixel

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

.

It seems that you have a handle on the connection between your sub's ADD and the caffeine.  My own sub is ADHD and until I met him, I had no idea that caffeine effects certain brain chemisty differently.  In his case, caffeine slows him down and allows him to think more clearly and concentrate differently in general.  When he began receiving the proper medication, his need for caffeine decreased greatly.  I'm not saying addiction itself is cured by taking a pill, but in some cases, there are medical solutions that can help.  You might want to have you sub mention the caffeine issue on the next visit. 

Best of luck to you and your sub.  Thank you for bringing the topic up on the boards.

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t seems that you have a handle on the connection between your sub's ADD and the caffeine.  My own sub is ADHD and until I met him, I had no idea that caffeine effects certain brain chemisty differently.  In his case, caffeine slows him down and allows him to think more clearly and concentrate differently in general.  When he began receiving the proper medication, his need for caffeine decreased greatly.  I'm not saying addiction itself is cured by taking a pill, but in some cases, there are medical solutions that can help.  You might want to have you sub mention the caffeine issue on the next visit. 

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ORIGINAL: Ecossaise

Keun, I think one or two of your quotes got mixed up - but you're welcome.

M
xx

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ORIGINAL: Ecossaise

Consider yourself... um... sued :)

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ORIGINAL: Keun

new update... I just found out that she's only been taking 1/3 of her ADD pill each day... sigh - so there was more to it than I knew... (she takes her pills at work, and leaves them there).

As of today she's to bring them home, take them here in My presence, so I can see her take a whole one each day.

I bet it's making a difference. I'd bet money on it - which I need... since I was just sued ;)

Keun

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ORIGINAL: Ecossaise

Consider yourself... um... sued :)

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Is she on medication for the ADD? Because if not, then depriving her of caffeine will make the ADD much worse. Caffeine hits the same receptors in the brain as do Adderal, Ritalin etc.

Has she seen a doctor? Have you gone along and asked about caffeine usage for ADD people. Because it is recommended that ADD/ADHD people drink caffeine to help. I was told that by both a clinical psychologist and a pediatrician, and it was confirmed by an adolescent psychiatrist.

Telling something to an ADD person and expecting them to remember it is a lesson in futility. My ums have white boards on which stuff is written down.

Punishing her, claiming she isn't really submissive, and so on because of things she can't control is really wrong. What you're doing isn't working so find other ways that will work. There are tons of books about coping strategies for ADD. Read one or more. You might as well punish a diabetic for passing out because of their illness as do what you're doing. She has a disease, if you're going to be in control of her then you must educate yourself on her health issues.