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hisannabelle -> RE: Is being too specific realistic? An Elven slave (1/17/2008 9:15:42 PM)
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greetings beth,
i would totally stare at you for hours. ;) but, you know, it always helps that you're brilliant as well as gorgeous.
greetings seekselvenslave,
a while before i met my current master, i did a similar thing - sat down and wrote basically my "dream list" of qualities in a partner, physical characteristics, etc. my master is completely the opposite of many things that i wrote, from physical to personality, and i never saw myself ending up with someone so much older, but it works for us. i think it's nice to explore what we want, but at the same time i don't think it's a good thing to be bounded by it. i love tall men. love love love. master is not tall (he's a few inches taller than me, which is nothing since i walk on my toes and he likes it when i wear heels). wanting to be with someone tall is on my laundry list of desires, but, for example, i don't tend to put physical characteristics on my profile as requirements or desires and physicality is something i usually look past when first getting to know people.
my problem with setting desires for body type is that first of all body types change. master and i have both gained and lost weight since we got together. when we got together i was 20 lbs. heavier and he was much, much thinner than me - now he is heavier than i am, for example. my health affects my weight quite a bit, and always has, and as someone who's had an eating disorder and worked in ed awareness and body image awareness, i just always balk at "ideal body types." i want someone i can grow old with - which means through thick and thin, literally, because most of us will experience those fluctuations. i don't want to be with someone who i know got together with me because i was a bbw or because i was a tall "elfin" figure or what have you, if that makes any sense. along the lines of beth's post...i want someone who is interested in -me- and having a relationship with -me- not just their perception of my body. then again, i know my views on this subject are very much shaped by my personal experience and that many do consider body type requirements perfectly normal. along those lines, i tend to steer away from profiles with strict age requirements, just because i myself do not like them, even if i fall into them. then again, i'm in a huge age gap relationship, so there you have it.
the other thing is that for me, although i do love elves and am a tolkien fanatic to boot, slavery is who i am, not a "role." i'm a slave 24/7/365. so i would want to be with someone who saw my slavery as something 24/7/365, and expected that of me, and was comfortable with it. and i'm not quite sure your fantasy would fit in with those needs of mine, or perhaps similar needs that other women may have, nor how you feel about that. it's just something that struck me and might make me look past were i searching, so i thought i'd mention it.
in terms of how i would feel reading your profile if i were searching for a dominant - i love to hear about people in their profiles. to me, putting yourself out there - who you are as a person, not just as bdsm applies - is way more important than putting out what you're looking for and what your requirements are, and in my experience, is a much more successful approach to writing a profile. a laundry list tends to turn people away - an engaging profile about -you- as a human being and what makes you interesting, a good partner, or whatever tends to be much more readable and approachable.
respectfully,
annabelle.
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