Is she technically a switch?

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Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 5:46:03 PM

weneedyourhelp

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I had a thought (occasionally I get them), I'm not sure this has been asked, probably has but.........We are not currently in a 24/7 D/s relationship, although it is starting to bleed out of "scene space" a little, and we have discussed moving into it. But that's not going to happen overnight (obviously, lol). So the question.. most of the time kitten is in control of her own life, we don't have any protocol for outside the bed, and then there are the times in the bedroom when she is completely submissive to me......does that technically make her a switch? Thanks for any input ! :)

Cougar

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 6:58:36 PM

MasterFireMaam

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When did being a competent adult in the mudane world = not submissive in role or character?

*confused*

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 7:15:57 PM

snowandsub

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i am submissive just to Him and mainly in private but outside of Him, i am very in control of my life - run a business, deal with people, raise our children, etc. my submissivness is only to Him.

just becuase a sub is a strong person to the rest of the world doesnt mean she is not capable of being submissive to You.

I know my Dom would be angry if i became submissive to others and didnt live my life the way I have done for the last number of years. my submission is precious to Him becuase it is only to Him.

(edited for spelling)

< Message edited by snowandsub -- 1/17/2008 7:22:36 PM >

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 7:22:28 PM

weneedyourhelp

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She is completly submissive to me, I am not saying that she's not. Just that when we are "vanilla" She does what she wants, says what she wants, etc. I'm not saying that's bad by any means, I was just curious if that would make her a switch or not..... it was just a pondering moment..lol
Edited to add: I guess im curious becuase in those times she can show some dominant tendencies.

Cougar

< Message edited by weneedyourhelp -- 1/17/2008 7:30:42 PM >

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 7:38:50 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Define "dominant" tendencies please?

Don't confuse personality with orientation, and don't confuse "not operating under authority" as "switch."

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 7:48:19 PM

weneedyourhelp

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I guess I mean that she is very assertive, and can almost be controlling in a sense. And I guess I need you to define "not operating under athourity"? Yes I am still a "dumb man"...lmao :)

Cougar

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 7:50:03 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: weneedyourhelp

I guess I mean that she is very assertive, and can almost be controlling in a sense. And I guess I need you to define "not operating under athourity"? Yes I am still a "dumb man"...lmao :)

Cougar

Are you practicing a d/s relationship outside of the bedroom? Is she violating your rules? Anyone can have dominant tendencies and many need them to be successful in life. Personality isn't role. Everyday life isn't role.

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 7:58:36 PM

weneedyourhelp

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Thanks laurell, I can usually count on you for a good answer or advice,(got a bad habit of reading threads alot lately.lol) It was just something I was wondering in our consideration toward a 24/7 relationship. I mean we've been together 12 years, never could have guessed what a decision that could be. :)

Cougar

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 9:07:55 PM

SimplyMichael

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There is no "technical" definition of anything we do.

If someone is dominant to all others and I mean REALLY dominant but rolls over and becomes a pile of submissive jelly for one person, is that a switch?

Or how about someone who's dominance is pretty weak, tends to adopt what others do, doesn't forge their own path and is a cardboard cutout of a dom, is that person more "dominant" than the person above?

How many times can you "try the other side" before you lose your "pure" status?

Trying to stick a label on her like it is some sort of relationship "handle" you can use to swing her about isn't going to work.

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 9:15:34 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: weneedyourhelp

Thanks laurell, I can usually count on you for a good answer or advice,(got a bad habit of reading threads alot lately.lol) It was just something I was wondering in our consideration toward a 24/7 relationship. I mean we've been together 12 years, never could have guessed what a decision that could be. :)

Cougar

Have you talked to her about what your expectations will be when you make that change? Have you suggested that you may not be comfortable with some of the more dominant/controlling things she does? Is this really what you are asking or am I missing the point?

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RE: Is she technically a switch? - 1/17/2008 9:18:14 PM

spanklette

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If it's working for you, call her what you and she feel comfortable with. If you're looking for an easier way to communicate about your roles...again, pick what feels comfortable and if someone questions what you choose...invite them to sit and spin.

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