PRETENDERS ?

PRETENDERS ? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

Slutsub -> PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 6:09:30 AM)
is it just me........or do others see it happening. seems like we are being infiltrated by pretenders........which..is such a shame..i left the "other site" alt...........because it was happening there........isnt there someway to stop these men.......who are only after sex.......(and not seriously in the scene) from coming in here and just being a nuisance...........please someone do something !!

MstrssPassion -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 6:34:24 AM)
No matter where you go you will find these that you consider pretenders. Leaving a site will not change the fact. I too had left the site you mention more than once because I was not happy with the contacts I received. Thankfully I reopened the profile there after a period of time & met my current partner. Probability that we will encounter the undesired will always outweigh the probability of finding a match. You just have be be patient enough to actually find your one. (hence the word one) Never give up! MstrssPassion

lovingmaster45 -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 6:47:07 AM)
It cuts both ways. There are time wasters everywhere. Barb and I never count on anyone showing up for a meeting unless we see their car in the driveway. If we set up a public meeting, we always pick a place we want to go to; whether we are meeting anyone or not. That way if they do a no-show, we will still have a good time. The key is to develop a "feel" and to keep trying. I guess it is about a 1 in 100 shot at finding someone who will actually meet. Of those we meet, probably one out of 10 warrant a second meeting. Don't give up.

JohnWarren -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 7:14:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Slutsub is it just me........or do others see it happening. seems like we are being infiltrated by pretenders........which..is such a shame..i left the "other site" alt...........because it was happening there........isnt there someway to stop these men.......who are only after sex.......(and not seriously in the scene) from coming in here and just being a nuisance...........please someone do something !! This is the old "I'm real, (s)he isn't" cry. The real "nuisances" to my way of thinking of it are those who try to set themselves up a arbitors of "proper BDSM" and create three categories: fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do). Given that breakdown there are damned few "real" people in the world. Sure, there are people, both male and female, who come to personal sites looking for a bit of slap and tickle and a good fuck, but usually they are pretty easy to recognize. If you're not interested in that level of play, don't contact them and if they contact you, just how has your life been demeaned by glancing at an email before hitting "next?" Rather than worrying about maintaining the purity of a exchange site, I recommend concentrating on having fun and looking for people whose interests match your own. Now, I will accept there are those who lie about their interests, but that's not a problem of "men wanting just sex", it's a problem about lying. Lying exists at all levels including people pretending they are more experienced, less experienced, interested in everything any correspondent is into, living in foreign countries so they can claim they can't meet, being not married and a host of other lies. Now liars can cost time and effort, and in some cases, money, but that sort of thing has been covered in other note streams.

Nuke718 -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 7:17:15 AM)
Hey at least they were just normal guys. Is it my imagination or is that other site getting overrun by woman looking to be paid for theeir services? And I do NOT mean ProDommes, altho I believe these womens occupation begins with pro... Its like all of a sudden working girls decided kinky men were easy marks. Nuke }:-

muzz -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 8:05:36 AM)
no matter what site you go to and no matter what the subject of the site you will find pretenders...that is why you need to get to know the person before getting involved with them...many of the pretenders you can figure out just after a few online conversations...its just a matter of paying attention to what they say.. With that being said...you also have to remember that there are many many people like myself that are so new to this that nervousness is a big issue...getting shy and quiet...being unsure about certain things because of not having experince... the hard part is telling the difference between the pretenders and the newbies.

lonewolf05 -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 8:08:52 AM)
yeah. from both sides. i know of 4 so called dommes on here that act like they walk on water..... sure sign of a pretender to ME! wolf

perfection20005 -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 8:50:17 AM)
I have to agree that there are pretenders on every site. Also in real life. You just have to sort thru all the pretenders and find the one that is right for you. Good luck.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 8:53:44 AM)
teasing Everyone knows only pretenders make posts about people being pretenders.

tade -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 9:00:20 AM)
I will admit that more than a few of my gender have ruined many a good thing but like was said before, it's not very hard to tell the good from the bad. Though I was recently asked for references...that one kinda threw me, but hey we understand that a girl's got to be careful now-a-days.

DesertRat -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 9:01:34 AM)
I would rather deal with pretenders than deal with a "BDSM Orthodoxy Committee". Who's to decide if one person's kink is better or more real than another's? Sure, in some cases it might be blatantly obvious...like bad art or bad music...but it's all subjective, isn't it? And even in my hypothetical 'blatant' cases, who is really fit to judge? I can make judgements for me, but going any further than that would be hard to support. Bob

Lordandmaster -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 9:10:41 AM)
Why does this even bother you if you're collared?

kc692 -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 11:24:28 AM)
lonewolf, you keep mentioning the number 4.........hmmm. slutsub, the internet, offline, everywhere in the world has pretenders everywhere. You should be able to take your time to find out who they are as you are collared, so, they shouldn't be bothering you, smiles.

caitlyn -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 11:36:02 AM)
You want to stop men from looking for sex? Good luck with that one. I'm curious to see how well that works out for you. ~huge grin~

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 11:39:15 AM)
Cheers John. You said it well. I'm trying to think of something to add, due to the fact that I like to hear myself talk, and I can't come up with a thing.

Kasia -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 11:58:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren This is the old "I'm real, (s)he isn't" cry. The real "nuisances" to my way of thinking of it are those who try to set themselves up a arbitors of "proper BDSM" and create three categories: fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do). Given that breakdown there are damned few "real" people in the world. Sure, there are people, both male and female, who come to personal sites looking for a bit of slap and tickle and a good fuck, but usually they are pretty easy to recognize. If you're not interested in that level of play, don't contact them and if they contact you, just how has your life been demeaned by glancing at an email before hitting "next?" Rather than worrying about maintaining the purity of a exchange site, I recommend concentrating on having fun and looking for people whose interests match your own. Now, I will accept there are those who lie about their interests, but that's not a problem of "men wanting just sex", it's a problem about lying. Lying exists at all levels including people pretending they are more experienced, less experienced, interested in everything any correspondent is into, living in foreign countries so they can claim they can't meet, being not married and a host of other lies. Now liars can cost time and effort, and in some cases, money, but that sort of thing has been covered in other note streams. Now that is one really fine post about virtual relationships in general. I especially like the part about "fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do)", everything depends on our expectations and common sense. (Although I havent find any of those "nuts" so far - does it mean I play too heavy? [:D]) And btw, there are some women "wanting just sex" at least as the starting point, and I am stating that openly. I have no desires so far to develop any emotional relationships, I am only looking for sextoy. And guess what? Havent find any yet. When it comes to "real" they just dont have any guts. Just delete any messages that bother you, Slutsub, the only way to "stop those men" is to ignore them. Or anyone else incompatible with what you want.

Rover -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 12:11:24 PM)
For some (many?) people it IS all about the sex. Let's exhibit a bit of that oft mentioned (but infrequently demonstrated) "tolerance" and not try to condemn others for their personal preferences and kinks. Nothing makes our personal choices and preferences any better than anyone else's... other than they are (hopefully) representative of our own personal needs, desires, and pleasures. And while we are free to make those decisions and choices for ourselves, and to judge what best exemplifies what is "right" for ourselves on a personal level, it's terribly presumptive (now that's being diplomatic) to make those choices for the entirety of the lifestyle (the "one true way" died ages ago). Sometimes it's difficult not to "project" what fulfills us on a personal level upon the entirety of the lifestyle. And I'm not suggesting that anyone has done so with malice. John

JohnWarren -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 12:30:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kasia I especially like the part about "fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do)", everything depends on our expectations and common sense. (Although I havent find any of those "nuts" so far - does it mean I play too heavy? [:D]) [laugh] I don't know about Tasmania but if you ever get to San Francisco I'll give you an intro to Fakir Mustifar... he scares me.

Faramir -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 12:30:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn You want to stop men from looking for sex? Good luck with that one. I'm curious to see how well that works out for you. ~huge grin~ Bear in mind that many men are not looking for sex, but rather eros, but that men often approach eros from the other direction as women. Just as women often must feel emotionally connected before they cna be physically open in a relationship, many men must feel physically connected before they can be open emotionally. Women sometimes mistake this different path for men as men "just" wanting sex (men at times mistake women for "only" wanting to share feelings).

fastlane -> RE: PRETENDERS ? (8/29/2005 12:45:42 PM)
I loved the Pretenders, are they still touring? As for wannabe's, well they have to start somewhere, why not here? As for faker's, those who say the are, but only say so for the sex....hmmmmm, Off with their nuts! I'm sure there are women like that too though.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875