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Keep these definitions in mind this week... - 8/29/2005 9:43:19 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks thepersonality to be an accountant.

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. (Laurence J. Peter)

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
(Charles R. Darwin)

A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip

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RE: Keep these definitions in mind this week... - 9/8/2005 2:10:22 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
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Nice

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: Keep these definitions in mind this week... - 9/8/2005 2:43:33 AM

frenchpet

Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
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Very nice.
I just didn't understand... is there a difference between a doughnut and a coffee cup ???

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RE: Keep these definitions in mind this week... - 9/8/2005 4:07:59 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
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Very cute! Thanks for sharing.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to frenchpet)

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RE: Keep these definitions in mind this week... - 9/8/2005 8:24:17 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I just didn't understand... is there a difference between a doughnut and a coffee cup ???

Sure there is... sheesh. You can't dunk a coffee cup in a doughnut. Some people!

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"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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