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KRANWEST -> Doing Diddly-Squat at Work, but Still Accepting a Paycheck (1/18/2008 3:03:46 PM)
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Three letters....one pitiful, measly acronym that still manages to flaunt all the awful weight of a "Khmer Rouge" or "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome".
In less than two years I've accumulated TWENTY-FIVE "Records of Discussion" (R.O.D.'s), each for a different and unique infraction. They're like parking-tickets for minor "on the clock" fuck ups; get too many and you're flushed away, like another useless company turd.
"This is, without a doubt, the worst employee record I've ever seen. It looks more like a rap sheet than a worker file" E------ tells me during eval time. He's thunderstruck....incredulous.....simply flabbergasted that I'm still alive and kicking in my "professional" capacity. Chumps like him just don't get it.
E------'s face is pallid....emaciated like Swamp Thing with a wicked bad meth habit. There's a touch of Don Knotts in that sad-looking visage, and, much like Deputy Fife, I'm sure that E------ would also blow a hole in his foot if given half a chance.
Five hours out of eight, I'm reading the regional papers, masturbating in the handicap restroom (the only one that locks), or playing death-defying games of Extreme, One-Man Leapfrog in the deserted "emergency stairwell". I'm apathetic: a good-for-nothing, 24-year old tick with his head lodged in the company payroll. Still, I receive a full paycheck, and laugh at chumps like E------, who puts his nose to the grindstone for two buck more per hour.
Would anyone else like to share their workplace experiences? Feel free to fire away.
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