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breatheasone -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 9:41:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

FR

Maybe your shock and confusion is part of the punishment.  If you did something to displease him, punishing you during an act you want to feel all relaxed during would be punishment in itself. 

Yes...I see Your point...which is why I will be on guard for it from now on...thank you  velvetears



vampiresscammy -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 10:16:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

For those that are in a relationship where spankings and/or whippings are used as discipline or punishment, do you feel you should be told before hand that you are getting a punishment/discipline spanking? If your "D" type starts to give you a spanking or whipping,(bare in mind that spanking and whipping are also part of the playtime you have together too, and DURING the spanking you realize this isnt like a FUN spanking) but you find out after its over that it was for punishment or discipline is that ok?


for me, the answer is a whole hearted yes!! as i am quite a little pain slut at times, if spanking/whipping comes into things and its not made clear i should be feelign punished, yeah i'm liable to greatly misunderstand that and it would serve no purpose, so either Master would have to make that clear or deal with my enjoying said 'preposed' punishment



bostoy -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 11:10:33 AM)

Bo doesn't use corporeal punishment for much, but when he does, I KNOW the difference between punishment and play.  With punishment, there is no warm up and it hurts.  With play, it hurts, but in a good way with warm up and caring during the play time.  During punishment, there is no specific caring during the punishment, although he does let me know he cares, but it's punishment. 

toy



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 11:34:59 AM)

Well if he wants to learn, just email this to him:

It's smarter and more effective to clearly outline exactly what the punishment is for, exactly what the punishment will entail and then afterwards to exactly reach an understanding and reaffirm that things are on track.

And it really doesn't take a lot of energy or effort if you make it a regular habit (not that punishment should be regular, if it is then you've got bigger problems to examine).

Otherwise, you'll just end up back in this mudhole spinning your wheels.



Dragonsone -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 12:55:26 PM)

We use two different paddles. One for play and one for punishment. The play one is leather and the punishment is wooden. I love the leather one and hate the wooden one. Its about the same kind of pain either way, but knowing that I am being punished is always worse. 



PanthersMom -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 1:13:42 PM)

if you're going to be punished you should be made aware if that fact and the reasons for it, then after the punishment there should be a discussion about correcting that behavior in the future while there is some sort of aftercare.  correction seems to stick better when it's done in a loving way.

PM
edited for lousy spelling



MRandme -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 3:32:41 PM)

My Master has a specific ritual before punishment. It always comes before any play. He will tell me to say what i did wrong... i must admit my mistake. He asks me if there were extenuating circumstances that He should know about. He always uses a cane and i must count out the stroke and thank Him. There is no  possible way i can be punished and not know what it was i did wrong. When He is finished, He will hold me close and kiss me to let me know i am forgiven and the issue is over and done with.

And then we move on to play. 

Having a ritual might prevent the problem you just had from recurring. It would help both of you be in the proper frame of mind for the best results.

g




breatheasone -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 3:41:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

My Master has a specific ritual before punishment. It always comes before any play. He will tell me to say what i did wrong... i must admit my mistake. He asks me if there were extenuating circumstances that He should know about. He always uses a cane and i must count out the stroke and thank Him. There is no  possible way i can be punished and not know what it was i did wrong. When He is finished, He will hold me close and kiss me to let me know i am forgiven and the issue is over and done with.

And then we move on to play. 

Having a ritual might prevent the problem you just had from recurring. It would help both of you be in the proper frame of mind for the best results.

g



Thankyou for sharing that...




breatheasone -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 6:42:02 PM)

A Public Apology To my Master:
Master, what I did Friday was inexcusable.  I fully deserved the punishment I received. Looking at the whole picture, how the punishment was given, is way less important than why it was given...I understand that. I am grateful that You take the time with me that You do. I am also grateful for the patience and guidance You provide. Your love has caused me to grow in ways I didn't even know I could....and we are just getting started! PLEASE Master...continue to look kindly on this stupid girl!...She NEEDS You so badly.



TreasureKY -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 7:14:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

FR

Maybe your shock and confusion is part of the punishment.  If you did something to displease him, punishing you during an act you want to feel all relaxed during would be punishment in itself. 

Yes...I see Your point...which is why I will be on guard for it from now on...thank you  velvetears


I realize it isn't how you intended your comment to be taken, but it brought to mind exactly why your situation would be unacceptable for me... how could I ever relax and enjoy play if I had to wonder if it would become some kind of punishment?

Come to think of it, I don't think he'd find that very acceptable, either.



breatheasone -> RE: Question (1/20/2008 7:22:22 PM)

I understand what you mean TreasureKY , but I don't think I conveyed what I meant very well....Master has already said it is NOT how He would want to deal with things in the future...It was a hard situation for us both that day...and we are both after all human and still learning....



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