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RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 6:02:07 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

if someone insults me behind my back or directly, i would rather handle it myself. if either one handled it without saying anything to me, that's fine however if that same person(s) attack then i shall handle it ...my way.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 21

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 6:13:30 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Imagine that, some will slam your partner to you. Hell, CM is organized gossip at times. I don’t mind someone telling me something bad about someone I don’t like anymore, but I don’t like to hear it about someone I like. If a Dom, for no reason, told me something bad about someone I liked I would consider his motive. Sour grapes, revenge, etc. A submissive slamming someone with a Dom. Well, heavens to Betsy, what could that be about?

My reason for telling someone I was with what was said about her would be to:

Make her mad at the person who said it. (a possibility)
Make her feel worthless.
Build up my ego in comparison to her’s. (sort of making her feel worthless again)
So number 1 is a possibility with me, the others, I would hope not.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 22

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 6:38:42 AM

SayaNereida

Posts: 152
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline

Hi xxblushes,

I'd tell/wish to be told, ONLY if if I/he found someone else's actions inconsistant (friendly and positive to face then nasty and hurtful behind their back); particularly if the person is or might be in the future, a friend.

Otherwise, I'd ignore it and want Sir to ignore it.

Saya

_____________________________

Anais Nin: Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. ...

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 23

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 6:40:57 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

If someone insulted my girlfriend, I'd just tell them to go pound sand up thier ass with a mallet.

Not much more is needed.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Dari)

Post #: 24

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 6:50:49 AM

Zechriel

Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

I have always had a wicked temper. The only difference between now and when I was younger is that now -more or less-I can walk away. But there are times it does come out, like when someone insults my kids or is constantly nasty and vicious towards my family. Soooo in that being said I would HOPE Master would handle it so I would not have to. I have come a long way from the streets where I grew up in California but I still think Master would handle it alot better than I could. In fact , I know he would because he either ignores them or sets them straight in an intelligent way. Me? I just turn around and jump on them, biting and scratching and frothing at the mouth and believe me-it is never a pretty site. Have a great week all!

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 25

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 7:34:15 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

If someone insults your slave or submissive, would you tell them, or would you try to protect them?

~ Fast Reply ~

blushes,

Of course I would - it wouldn't require any thought process. First reason - frauds need exposure. Talking behind a person's back indicates weakness and the confidence of pond scum. The sub/slave may have believed the person and even wanted to be friends - worse, maybe they thought they were. Exposing what said exposes the reality of the person's character and integrity. Reality is ALWAYS better than living a lie. Exposing a person to reality can't be considered "hurting" them, unless it hurts them to know the truth. In that case, long term it helped them.

Protecting her in this instance takes on the same face - direct confrontation. Once that visit occurs, since I abhor non-consensual physical violence, it will be the other person in need of protecting.

This has very little to do with a person having the strength or ability to stand up for themselves. A person can't "stand up for themselves" if they don't know they are being confronted. Trust and integrity within a relationship isn't relegated only to 'good' situations. Partners need to trust each other. Integrity is built from these opportunities. You help a person stand for themselves by letting them know who they can and can not trust. Even should the partnership dissolve, that knowledge and insight about people remains. That's protection that lasts.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 26

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 7:37:06 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

or submissive,

would you tell them, or would you try to protect them?

i would hope that if they insulted me behind my back to my partner, that my partner would set them straight and deny the the access to having a second opportunity to do so, just as i would if the shoe was on the other foot.

quote:

My HM told me something someone said about me and He told me that the reason He didn't tell me is because it would hurt me.

so i'm curious to know: why it was okay to tell you now, if he in fact didn't tell you in the first place, based on the notion that he didn't want it to hurt you?

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 27

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 7:51:51 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

This is complicated by the fact that I'm one of those hyper protective people. Someone insults my slave or my husband or heck even my friend, they going to deal with a very unpleasant me. I react strongly.

Therefore my family knows to really gauge what they do and do not tell me.

Let me give you an immediate example. It's long, ignore please if you find it too complicated.

A "friend" of my husband who shares his fetishes and who is a regular attendee of his munches, came to our annual Christmas party. He/She bought a copy of one of my books, and then handed me a short story he/she had written saying my husband told him/her that I'd read it. I'm a bit shocked and put out, this is at our party and I need to focus on all my guests so I take it. I told him/her that I might not read it very soon because I was very busy and was going to be very busy for some time. Plus I warned this person that their fetishes are not my own so I may not be the best person to read it.

Needless to say I had classes ending, my graduation and then I started getting interviews to set up for jobs. Then the holidays hit, the interviews hit, I start getting campus invites and more interviews, plus all the normal mundane stuff. The short story sits on my desk somewhere out of mind frankly.

Then on Friday my husband tells me about an email he gets from this "friend" saying we lied about wanting to read his/her story and he/she is angry at us. Now I'm pissed. No one calls anyone in my family a liar -- other than hypocrite I consider that the deepest insult. So now I take this story and hand it to my husband with the statement "I'm not reading at all now" and refuse to go to his munch (as I sometimes do).

As far as I am now concerned this "friend" of his has shown his/her true colors and I want nothing to do with him/her. If I had a DS relationship with my husband, I'd probably order him to give this stuff back and cut off all connection to said person.

If said person offers a direct apology, then I might listen. Right now I'm still pissed.

Over reacting?

Damn straight! I know that about myself, my husband and my slave know that about me, any one who is a friend of ours knows that.

So telling me that someone insults my family requires serious thought first.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 28

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 8:22:13 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I would tell my sub what was said about him, after I let the other person know what I thought about them. My sub is a grown man and can handle it. I think it would be better for him to know that this person isn't quite the friend he thought they were. As for protection, I give him that when he really needs it but thats rare, because lets face it we are all adults here and should know how to take care of ourselves.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Dari)

Post #: 29

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 8:22:40 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Thanks, all for your responses. I found them compelling.
To answer the question that was asked several times in this thread, 'why did he feel the need to tell you now?' It came up in the midst of a discussion we were having, about honesty and openness. He wanted to tell me what was said before I read it.
Focus; HM actually stands for HoneyMaster. I've been using that term around here for so long now, I just figured I can start shortening it. *lol*
I do know that if someone said something nasty or snarky regarding Him, He would definitely be told about it.
He is, however, an individual with much more self-esteem than I am, so, I can see Him 'protecting' me, rightly or wrongly.
I will pass this along to Him, as I'm sure He'll be interested.
He does think I should have been told right away. But He also had very good reasons for not doing so. (at least in His mind.)
Thanks again!

~Christina

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 30

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 10:49:19 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

You insult my slave, I break your face.

(in reply to Dari)

Post #: 31

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 10:54:59 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

I'd defend My slave as much as I could, then I'd tell her what was said about her-she has every right to know because the comment is about -her-, then I'd leave her to deal with it any way she wanted.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 32

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 12:17:23 PM

magickbrat

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

thought i might put my 2 cents worth in here. As I am more into real life situations, I would prefer that my Husband tell me what has been said so that I can be prepared for any repercussions these rumors might have. Keeping it secret might cause more harm in this situation than good. If someone was to insult one of my girls,..i would tell them and prepsre them for what might come about from this rumor. Many times the person starting trouble is just jealous and is trying to break down a relationship or the other person.
Let it be something that could cause physical harm to one of my girls and the person will see my wrath. i will not put up with that at all.

(in reply to Dari)

Post #: 33

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 12:23:28 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

'Depends on context:

In the event it was no more than idle tittle-tattle, then why would she need to know? That's nothing to do with protection, it's more a case of not wasting her energy with petty nonsense.

In the event there was truth underpinning the comment, then, yes, I'd tell her - it should provide a lesson in the principle of "you make your bed, you lie in it".

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 34

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 12:26:34 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

~FR~

I would never tell someone who had a partner anything which I would expect to be kept a secret. If I tell them something, I will automatically assume they will tell their partner as well. Anyone who ever starts a sentence which begins "You can't tell anyone about this, including your Master" is shut down immediately and I make no bones about the fact that if they tell me, they can automatically expect that I'll tell my Master, so perhaps it's best if they just don't tell me.

Celeste

i'm like this to a certain extent. sometimes....i'm just not going to tell anyone. especially if its "this is whats going on in my mind, and i just need to get it out so its not rattling in my brain, can you listen and not judge me?" kind of things.

if not knowing could become a problem to me and mine? yes, i'll tell.

kitten

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 35

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 12:46:03 PM

KnOcala

Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I would explain to the person that the comments were not appreciated and not tell the sub what had occured because I would want to protect her. No good would come from sharing hurtful comments with her. She is mine and I would not let some dipshits comment upset her.

(in reply to Dari)

Post #: 36

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 1:37:36 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Focus; HM actually stands for HoneyMaster. I've been using that term around here for so long now, I just figured I can start shortening it. *lol*

So there I was all suspicious and cringing that it might be something lame/cliche'd like 'His Majesty'.... lol

Focus.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 37

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 2:29:13 PM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I can't agree more with what you have said. There's an old saying:

"Foes may create bad news, but it takes a friend to deliver that news quickly"

It's bad enough to hear a person bad mouthing another, especially someone you care about, but to then be the deliverer of that gossip just perpetuates it and serves no purpose other than to feed someone's agenda.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain
My reason for telling someone I was with what was said about her would be to:

Make her mad at the person who said it. (a possibility)
Make her feel worthless.
Build up my ego in comparison to her’s. (sort of making her feel worthless again)

So number 1 is a possibility with me, the others, I would hope not.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 38

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 3:59:35 PM

DaggerDom

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Well, people talk about everyone else behind their backs so don't get bothered by that. As far as dealing with the insult, I'd just tell my slave and advise her to start making jokes about hearing about the holes in his underwear.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 39

RE: If someone insults your slave... - 1/20/2008 6:29:03 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It depends. If I was going to see that person shortly and spend time with them, then I would want to know. But someone who just might be at a large gathering and I probably wouldn't be talking to anyway, who cares. Now if it's a close friend or family member, that's different. I would want to know what I did to offend them so I could try to change their opinion. I don;t want to be the cause of trouble, don't want him to feel he has to choose between family, dear friends and me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Dari)

Post #: 40

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