How long? (Full Version)

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LadyHathor -> How long? (1/20/2008 5:46:29 AM)

Ladies, how long do you wait from an initial online contact to a phone chat> or how much information gets traded before you feel secure in a phone conversation?



MistressVnus -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 5:58:04 AM)

For me, there is no set "time."
It has more to do with comfort level.
I will go to chat pretty quickly if their interests, philosophies, and visual appearnce are congruent with what I'm looking for.
I may chat for a very long time getting to know the person.
From there, I may ask for some email assignments.
And, if still interested, I will request phone time.
Most never make it to the phone call.  I'm not much of a phone person to begin with.
And even less will ever get a face to face meeting.
You have to go with your guts on this.  There really isn't a time frame.  It's more about compatibility and chemistry to me and the few times that has really clicked, time was a mute point.




eyesopened -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 5:59:09 AM)

There are just way too many variables!  i've gone to phone contact within hours or i've never gone to phone contact at all, depending upon several factors.  Because individuals are, well, individual.



thetammyjo -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 7:12:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

Ladies, how long do you wait from an initial online contact to a phone chat> or how much information gets traded before you feel secure in a phone conversation?


For me I want to talk in email for a while -- I don't do chat because I want a readily accessible record which is a good way to check for lying or for incompatibilities.

Then I use my current slave to vet things further so an email or two between him and the potential.

If that works out then I ask for a formal training application and I look over that. I'll have then given the potential a snail mail address to send that application -- opening up a higher level of trust.

If that looks good, we'll make a 'date' for meeting for lunch or dinner. My slave at least will be there though only to meet the person and then to eat at another table. This is a safety feature plus I've learned that my husband and my slave are good at spotting BS when I might be thrilled by someone's answers or features.

Things develop or not after that.

I don't give out my phone number easily because I've was harassed for two years by someone claimed he/she only wanted to talk a bit and then kept calling me.

Sad reality is that others pay for that harassment by having more hoops to jump through and a face-to-face meeting before they get any phone number.

Anyone who looks up my number and calls me is an immediate "NO" -- yes, that has happened to me too. Part of the risk of being out as I am.



Lashra -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 8:25:59 AM)

Until I feel comfortable and then I give them my cell number, not my home number. With my current sub it took three months of chatting and emailing before I gave him my cell phone number. I am not a fast mover, I prefer to take things nice and slow, which in a way is good because the insincere ones seem to loose interest and drop out quick.

~Lashra



LadyPact -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 8:33:42 AM)

I'm not a phone person.  I don't necessarily use phone for much of anything.  If I want to meet a person, I usually do so at a local munch or something.  Either that or I'll use cam.

I'd probably have a different opinion if I were a male hoping to contact a female.  I'd want to know for sure that the person on the other end were female before I made too much of an investment.



MistressHolly71 -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 11:59:00 AM)

It depends on what I think of the person. When (& if) I feel comfortable, I'll give them my cell. Very few make to a face to face meeting.



vampchick88 -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 12:11:54 PM)

  It took me a month to call pet. I'm suprised he waited so long. I was going through a rough time and it took me a while. Once I called we just started telling bits and pieces about eachother. Nothing really into the "meat and potatoes" of our lives right away. Just kinda introducing ourselves and getting to know one another. Telling likes, dislikes, open fields and interests in our kinks, as well as hard limits. Sort of a way of not wasting one anothers time if there was somthing we didn't like or couldn't deal with. 
  My advise, take your time getting to know somone. If you feel uncomfortable telling everything then don't. Have fun, smile, laugh, it can be fun to get to know someone, and if its not then its better to find out early in the game.



AtlantaMistress -> RE: How long? (1/20/2008 1:33:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

For me, there is no set "time."
It has more to do with comfort level.
I will go to chat pretty quickly if their interests, philosophies, and visual appearnce are congruent with what I'm looking for.
I may chat for a very long time getting to know the person.
From there, I may ask for some email assignments.
And, if still interested, I will request phone time.
Most never make it to the phone call. I'm not much of a phone person to begin with.
And even less will ever get a face to face meeting.
You have to go with your guts on this. There really isn't a time frame. It's more about compatibility and chemistry to me and the few times that has really clicked, time was a mute point.




I agree...at least with the beginning - it does depend on comfort level. Once they have contacted me (assuming they send more than a one liner and have showed me sincere interest and that they have taken the time to read MY PROFILE), I will ask them about their experience, expectations, and tell them to convince me why I should spend ANY time going forward to give them the opportunity to serve me. Based on that e-mail, if very detailed, I will ask for their number and a good time to contact, or if I am not comfortable/ready for phone time yet, I will actually have them set up a gmail account just to chat (if they go through with that - it shows they are willing to make effort, follow instructions) and that in itself weans a lot out. I try to chat once or twice to get a feel for compatibility and ease of communication, but careful not to fall into the chat zone, so will try to get a phone call. After 1 or 2 calls, if I desire to go forward, I do like to set up a meeting(session in my case) because phone/online communication, regardless of how good, will not tell me if there is REALLY a connection there. In my case, I have had to learn how to separate the game players/time wasters from the legitimate subs who truly want to serve.

My best advice, use your gut instinct, make sure they understand that they are LUCKY if you give them any time at all, and not to waste it, and try to learn from each time you do make the mistake of giving the wrong person too much of your precious time.



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