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How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 10:04:31 AM

AbsitInvidia

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This is something I've been wondering about, as my Master is a total sadist, and I'm not very masochistic. Pain hurts and it makes me think I did something wrong and am being punished.

The solutions so far that we've come up with are that I feel pain less when I'm in subspace, and also I can handle different types of pain better...for example getting my face slapped is something he can do really hard, spanking is something he can do moderately hard, and caning/belts/any other implement is something that will have me burst into tears if he uses any force whatsoever.

But still...he is sadistic...and he also wants to feel the satisfaction of causing the pain, not just seeing the result. It doesn't matter if I'm sitting there sobbing if he's thinking "what the hell - I barely touched you...get back up so I can cane you already" - and also he always calls me a wuss and it bothers me to know that I can't make him happy by not saying ow. It just comes out.

So has anyone ever found a way to increase their pain tolerance if it was really low and they hated pain to begin with? I don't think I'll ever get around to liking pain, but it would be good enough if I could just tolerate more of it - especially that awful stinging pain from whipping implements.

_____________________________

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What most people call rights are merely social norms, they are expectations - but expectations can and will be violated on a daily basis. On her knees. In the mud. Hard, and savagely. Expectations likes it like that.

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 10:07:50 AM

xxblushesxx

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I don't know about increasing pain tolerance for those who don't like it at all, but, how about a fun game of pain/pleasure?
You pleasure yourself with your favorite toy, while he pleasures himself inflicting pain on you. He starts off soft, and gets more intense as you get more intensely into your own play. Adding some dialogue in which you must respond in a normal tone of voice just adds to the torment. (in a fun way)

~Christina

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 10:09:13 AM

AbsitInvidia

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hmmm...I think that might be a really good idea.

I'm going to ask him if we can go vibrator shopping :)

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-=SixFoot and Soshi=-

What most people call rights are merely social norms, they are expectations - but expectations can and will be violated on a daily basis. On her knees. In the mud. Hard, and savagely. Expectations likes it like that.

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 10:15:27 AM

kyraofMists

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I think of increasing pain tolerance to mean being able to feel more sensations or more intense sensations without it being painful. If he is a sadist and gets off on causing pain, then I would think increasing pain tolerance would be undesirable.

As an example, flicking my nipples hurts like a bitch and I fucking hate it. That small little action on his part just feeds his sadistic desires and he delights in it almost daily. If I were to increase my pain tolerance in that area and get to a point where flicking my nipples didn't hurt so much, he would lose pleasure in that activitiy. I see increasing my pain tolerance as have undesirable consequences on his pleasure.

Are you wanting to increase your ability to endure pain longer? If so, then the first suggestion is to change your perception of what it means to feel pain.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 10:19:24 AM

Wisenlilminx

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blushes has a great idea there. A lot will increase their pain tolerance over time. But sometimes, there's a compromise to be had.

A gag can help with the ow.

WiseProtector

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

Post #: 5

RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 10:56:44 AM

AbsitInvidia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I think of increasing pain tolerance to mean being able to feel more sensations or more intense sensations without it being painful. If he is a sadist and gets off on causing pain, then I would think increasing pain tolerance would be undesirable.

As an example, flicking my nipples hurts like a bitch and I fucking hate it. That small little action on his part just feeds his sadistic desires and he delights in it almost daily. If I were to increase my pain tolerance in that area and get to a point where flicking my nipples didn't hurt so much, he would lose pleasure in that activitiy. I see increasing my pain tolerance as have undesirable consequences on his pleasure.

Are you wanting to increase your ability to endure pain longer? If so, then the first suggestion is to change your perception of what it means to feel pain.

Knight's Kyra

Well yes, the end result is to endure pain longer, but the main reason for increasing the tolerance is because I have none to certain things. For example if he wants to cane me and I'm screaming my head off after stroke one, he won't really be able to continue since we have neighbors who can hear. And even if I'm gagged which we've tried, it's still unbearable pain and I can make quite a bit of noise through the gag...it's instinctual. I know what you mean that he wouldn't enjoy it if it didn't hurt at all, but as it is now it hurts so much that it limits what he's able to do. If he wants to cane me he doesn't want to do three half swats with less momentum than he'd use on a fly swatter. He's already told me that even though it hurts me, it's still unsatisfying if he doesn't get to put any force or effort into it.

But how do you suggest that I change my perception of feeling pain? It hurts. I don't get those endorphins that masochists must get for it to feel good. I feel agony and want it to stop. Is there any way to make something that hurts feel good?

< Message edited by AbsitInvidia -- 1/20/2008 11:04:58 AM >

_____________________________

-=SixFoot and Soshi=-

What most people call rights are merely social norms, they are expectations - but expectations can and will be violated on a daily basis. On her knees. In the mud. Hard, and savagely. Expectations likes it like that.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 6

RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 11:17:38 AM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsitInvidia

Well yes, the end result is to endure pain longer, but the main reason for increasing the tolerance is because I have none to certain things. For example if he wants to cane me and I'm screaming my head off after stroke one, he won't really be able to continue since we have neighbors who can hear. And even if I'm gagged which we've tried, it's still unbearable pain and I can make quite a bit of noise through the gag...it's instinctual. I know what you mean that he wouldn't enjoy it if it didn't hurt at all, but as it is now it hurts so much that it limits what he's able to do.

But how do you suggest that I change my perception of feeling pain? It hurts. I don't get those endorphins that masochists must get for it to feel good. I feel agony and want it to stop. Is there any way to make something that hurts feel good?

You said in your first post that pain, "makes me think I did something wrong and am being punished." That is the perception that I think needs to change in order to endure more. If you associate pain as something negative then that can undermine efforts in learning to endure more.

As someone else mentioned, mix pleasurable and painful sensations. The first time that I experienced pain in my current relationship it was mixed with sex. He scratched my back until I bled, bit me, used pressure points and gripping while also doing something that was highly enjoyable. As a result my favorite type of play now if the up close, hands on type of play.

Working through physical pain is very much a mental process. Visualization and meditation during the pain have helped me process it and endure more. Fighting back helps me endure more as well. At first I started off hitting and kicking objects as a means to work through the pain. Then I started just hitting him *g* Of course, I haven't seen too many tops willing to get hit back.

Another technique that he uses is to take something that Alandra and I find pleasurable and push it until it becomes painful. Some examples is canes for Alandra and so far the BBQ with me. He calls it "playing to red" and it is all about the pain. He has posted on it here before and it can help teach us that we can endure a hell of a lot more than we think.

I think your first hurdle is that pain means you have done something wrong. Until you change that opinion, then other techniques may not be useful. That is my opinion from the limited information that I have and based on my own experience.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

Post #: 7

RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 11:21:30 AM

CalifChick

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Seriously go vibrator shopping. You want one that will vibrate the paint off the walls. It's amazing what a powerful vibe on the clit can do. And yes, you want it on your clit, not inside. For me it's like a switch... something is happening that HURTS HURTS HURTS, click on goes the vibe, NoPainAtAll.

Cali

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(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 12:58:53 PM

heartfeltsub

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Have you done the breathing thing, breathing out the pain, focusing on that. There are a number of threads from the past that people use different techniques to deal with the pain, as you are not the only non-masochist who deals with a sadist.

heartfelt

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 1:12:36 PM

ItalianSMistress

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From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
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My question is this:

Does he always warm you up? you said you can take more when in subspace, so unless he is punishing you for a misdoing, does he always warm you up? I am very sadistic, and I know that most slaves can take more when properly warmed up. At times I prefer not to use a warm up, if I really want a reaction, or when testing out what can be handled, and I never offer a warm up if the slave is being punished. But, if I just want to play, even with a slave with an ok pain tolerance, then a warm up and slip into subspace can really increase the amount that can be taken.

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 2:01:01 PM

SubJordanTyler

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I definitely think practice is important..........to start slow and build up. You might also want to find different methods of inflicting pain. I don't like to be whipped or caned or anything like that. But I do enjoy pain - a lot. So other methods were looked into and two really stood out - hot wax and ball weights. Hot wax on my body, and especially on sensitve areas like my cock and balls, really hurts. So you could start with just drips and then work up to pouring it.

For ball weights, I started with something very light and a little more weight was added every now and then. Yes it hurt, but I tried to focus more on the weight being a goal - being able to handle just a little more each time. And when I could do it, I looked at it as an accomplishment. I withstood the pain so I could say I was able to accomplish something good. And it worked.

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 11

RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 2:27:43 PM

alandraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Another technique that he uses is to take something that Alandra and I find pleasurable and push it until it becomes painful. Some examples is canes for Alandra and so far the BBQ with me. He calls it "playing to red" and it is all about the pain. He has posted on it here before and it can help teach us that we can endure a hell of a lot more than we think.

Knight's Kyra

Kyra forgot an important word in the bolded part..... so far the BBQ "brush" with me. she has not yet been BBQ for supper yet *grins*

knight's Alandra

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 12

RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/20/2008 11:06:45 PM

Hotch

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Repeating the same activity will, over time, desensitize you somewhat to the pain. The problem is, if your partner has a good gauge of your pain threshold, he's gonna increase the sensation to compensate. Your emotional response to the idea of pain determines how well you deal with it. If you're fearful, the pain will overwhelm you very easily. If the idea of pain excites you, you'll accept it, welcome it, and even challenge it to push you further. You say you're not a masochist, so you should probably resolve yourself to accepting it as a devotional to your partner. Let your willingness to please him be your motivation. Ya never know, those endorphins may find your pleasure button yet.

(in reply to alandraofMists)

Post #: 13

RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/21/2008 12:23:29 AM

laurell3

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Xoxi I didn't hate pain to begin with, but I can tell you what increased my masochism and overall tolerance as well as my way of thinking about it was having the other person combine it with erotic stimulation. Alternating between erotic and painful stimulus or even doing both at the same time can change how one views pain. I'm not sure that's his goal though (it's a bit unclear from the OP).

The problem is this. If he desires for you to be in pain and not erotic pain, the vibrator thing isn't likely to work. He can always push you harder until you are past the point where you view the pain as erotic or pleasurable. Regardless of what your tolerance is, everyone can get to the point that you experience more easily. In that instance the response is in your head and heart. It takes quite a bit to push me to the point that I am in horrible pain because the service and his reaction is enough for me. At one point when I was having a hard time with it with a new partner I asked to be in the position where I could see his face. It made a big difference as watching how much he enjoyed it even once changed my perspective immensely the next time.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 1/21/2008 12:24:11 AM >

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/21/2008 4:08:04 AM

Justme696

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How far would one go? I trained increasing pain for kickboxing and karate, but I discovered, besides the postive vallue of this, that it can be dangerous.
Not feeling the real damage done. (broken fingers...ignoring the pain ..healing, rebroken by docter to adjust them)

That is more a thing to think about when you push limits like this. Pain is a warning system afther all.

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/21/2008 4:18:14 AM

eyesopened

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Is there a compromise? For example, at a single-tail demo i attended, it was explained that the 'cracker' part of the whip can be made of different materials, even soft fluffy yarn, so that the Top can experience throwing with all His might, hear the oh-so-sexy sound of the crack but the bottom feels more of a light thud than a sharp sting.

Is there a cane material that would allow your Master to release the energy He needs to release without having to resort to calling you a wuss? i'm sure there is someone here who would know the answer to that.

For me (i am SO not a pain slut) thinking of the blows as energy instead of pain allows me to process them better. i have actually envisioned a wave of pain as going through my body so that it both enters and leaves. i always know that the 'energy' is going to leave so i can tolerate it better when it comes.

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/21/2008 5:24:13 AM

parttimehotty

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From: Virginville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsitInvidia

This is something I've been wondering about, as my Master is a total sadist, and I'm not very masochistic. Pain hurts and it makes me think I did something wrong and am being punished.

The solutions so far that we've come up with are that I feel pain less when I'm in subspace, and also I can handle different types of pain better...for example getting my face slapped is something he can do really hard, spanking is something he can do moderately hard, and caning/belts/any other implement is something that will have me burst into tears if he uses any force whatsoever.

But still...he is sadistic...and he also wants to feel the satisfaction of causing the pain, not just seeing the result. It doesn't matter if I'm sitting there sobbing if he's thinking "what the hell - I barely touched you...get back up so I can cane you already" - and also he always calls me a wuss and it bothers me to know that I can't make him happy by not saying ow. It just comes out.

So has anyone ever found a way to increase their pain tolerance if it was really low and they hated pain to begin with? I don't think I'll ever get around to liking pain, but it would be good enough if I could just tolerate more of it - especially that awful stinging pain from whipping implements.

***Disregard****

< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 1/21/2008 5:40:42 AM >

_____________________________

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/21/2008 5:25:27 AM

parttimehotty

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From: Virginville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsitInvidia

This is something I've been wondering about, as my Master is a total sadist, and I'm not very masochistic. Pain hurts and it makes me think I did something wrong and am being punished.

The solutions so far that we've come up with are that I feel pain less when I'm in subspace, and also I can handle different types of pain better...for example getting my face slapped is something he can do really hard, spanking is something he can do moderately hard, and caning/belts/any other implement is something that will have me burst into tears if he uses any force whatsoever.

But still...he is sadistic...and he also wants to feel the satisfaction of causing the pain, not just seeing the result. It doesn't matter if I'm sitting there sobbing if he's thinking "what the hell - I barely touched you...get back up so I can cane you already" - and also he always calls me a wuss and it bothers me to know that I can't make him happy by not saying ow. It just comes out.

So has anyone ever found a way to increase their pain tolerance if it was really low and they hated pain to begin with? I don't think I'll ever get around to liking pain, but it would be good enough if I could just tolerate more of it - especially that awful stinging pain from whipping implements.

***Edited because of screwy computer*****Sorry, my server is acting up and the message posted 2x's.

< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 1/21/2008 5:27:44 AM >

_____________________________

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RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/21/2008 5:56:12 AM

Phoenix2raven

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Try using this technique. As others have said use a vibrator but use it during the most painful times. It is a simple but not easy way of training your body/mind to associate pain with pleasure. Eventually it will change the wiring so that you will feel pleasure from the pain. This is not an overnight process and you must be willing to practice a lot. Just remember once you change your response it will be very hard to change it back. The joy is in the journey not the destination. Open communication with your Dom is very important before you begin not after. Know what you both want from this and set the intention and have fun with it. Good luck

_____________________________

If you're a Dominate, are you looking for a sublimate?

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Post #: 19

RE: How to increase my pain tolerance? - 1/21/2008 6:04:25 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
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From: Central Florida
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quote:

I don't know about increasing pain tolerance for those who don't like it at all, but, how about a fun game of pain/pleasure?
You pleasure yourself with your favorite toy, while he pleasures himself inflicting pain on you. He starts off soft, and gets more intense as you get more intensely into your own play. Adding some dialogue in which you must respond in a normal tone of voice just adds to the torment. (in a fun way)

It is an excellent technique. And one many employ to "condition" someone into enjoying pain and making it a sexually exciting event. When the phermones ( a hormone of sexual excitement), and endorphines (the bodies natural morphines produced when the body is under physical trauma) mix together, the tolerance for pain and the sexual response to it, will gradually increase over time. But the pain levels should begin with minimal impact and the sexual excitment be great. Then gradually reversing this. Next thing you know, the site of the cane (for example) will make you wet.
"Seasoning" is also done over time and will increase your tolerances. The more you're subjected to trauma in a certain area, the "tougher" it will become and the less sensitive it will be. Beware of "leather butt", however. Although this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can end up putting the top into quite a sweat to get you where you want to go. IF you want to go there.
I am not in agreement, however, with calling someone a wuss or chastising you for your levels of tolerance. I believe that this will create more of a psychological barrier to conditioning you than it will do good and can cause you to automaticlly have feelings of inadequacy just knowing a corporal event is about to occur.
And, even if you come to enjoy certain toys that implement pain, each has different sensations and there might be some you just can't tolerate. For example, I know people who love the cane, but can't endure a paddling, and vice versa.
I forgot to note, that a good "warming up" in the area, like your butt, should be done first. This can be done with a "light" spanking, massage, pinching, and squeezing. What this does is begin to bring endorphines to the area without a lot of pain....once the skin becomes "warm" to the touch and a bit pink, it means that blood circulation carrying endorphines have already come to the area. THEN, an bit more intensity can be applied. Warming up can make a HUGE difference as to what someone can endure with a gradual increase on intensity.

I wish you the best of luck on this journey.

< Message edited by MistressVnus -- 1/21/2008 6:11:53 AM >

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