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Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 10:35:33 AM   
maturesub4use


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		Good afternoon!

I have a question for the subs/slaves here who have some experience in CollarMe and have had success in managing their profiles and the resulting email flood (of often assanine, offensive or plain moronic emails).

In just reviewing my own profile after various journal additions based on the email experience, i have come to realize that i sound like an outright bitch! But the moment i remove these comments, the stupidity and volume of emails increases almost instantaneously.

How have you managed to get your points and desires/needs across without becoming a major turn-off "hell bitch"?

Your kind help is much appreciated,

maturesub
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 10:45:03 AM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		As a male slave, I don't have that problem! 

The general advice I'd give is just delete what you don't want to read.  You may need to block folks if they won't take no for an answer.  I had one guy who kept bugging me, so I blocked him and had no subsequent problems.

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 10:45:55 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Well;

The first thing I would do is take out the 'I've so missed being used completely.'
You may have missed that, but, honestly, if you tell the world, you will draw the wankers like bees to honey.
I also purposely left the sexual bits out of my checklist. I figure I will decide who is allowed to know this kind of stuff. On the 'b' site, there is a way to make that part of your profile private. That is why I have a full checklist there.
I like to put in my profile that while I am looking for friends, and possibly more, and that there are certain parameters to follow if we are to get to know one another. Then I list them. (not everyone will read your journal.) My parameters were, you must be intelligent, have read my profile, and know a bit about me from reading it. I don't answer one word letters, and I don't answer form letters. I did not have to deal with 'penis shots' (except for one time) as I made it very clear that if someone wants to get to know me they must be respectful.
Look for friends first, and see what happens from there.
It worked well for me, anyway.
Good luck!

~Christina

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 10:50:46 AM   
maturesub4use


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for this advice! Apparently, honesty is not always the best policy and there are some things that i should initially keep under covers.

maturesub

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:00:52 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		mine just states it:

i'm Happily Owned......  i rarely ever get any emails unless it's from forum users.

~meticulous~

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:07:00 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Have you exercised the email control option?

You can keep people that are inappropriate for you from even emailing you, they will end up in the bulk folder. This would probably help reduce the unwanted emails.

Or you could just wait, once you are not fresh meat, the email flow will probably decrease. You can also block people who are being inappropriate so they will not email you anymore, although this pisses some of them off.

It is your world, live in it as you see fit.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:08:20 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meticulousgirl

mine just states it:

i'm Happily Owned......  i rarely ever get any emails unless it's from forum users.

~meticulous~


LOL yeah, my name pretty much fends off those kinds of emails...which was the whole point in it. 

(in reply to meticulousgirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:11:53 AM   
maturesub4use


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Or you could just wait, once you are not fresh meat


[smiles] It has been a while since i have been considered "fresh meat". But i do get your point and appreciate your advice.

Unfortunately, the mail control options do not offer the selection "filter out all moronic, offensive brain farts".

maturesub

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:13:00 AM   
maturesub4use


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
LOL yeah, my name pretty much fends off those kinds of emails


Alas, i cannot truthfully claim to be an owned girl!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:17:04 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturesub4use

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Or you could just wait, once you are not fresh meat


[smiles] It has been a while since i have been considered "fresh meat". But i do get your point and appreciate your advice.

Unfortunately, the mail control options do not offer the selection "filter out all moronic, offensive brain farts".

maturesub


Then I am guessing that you are looking for any age group in any location worldwide, and orientation is not an issue for you? I find that most of the morons that have emailed me were too far away, not looking for the same thing, and completely out of my age range. But if your experience is that you have a lot of local retards in your age range emailing you, you have my sympathies

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:20:04 AM   
maturesub4use


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		While moronry and self-chosen retardation are common global phenomena, i am sad to report that even in a reduced age bracket and geographical restriction, i appear to have struck an epicenter of such undesirable human characteristics.

maturesub

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:25:07 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		The flow will slow down, give it a little time... the first few weeks on cm usually put you on everyone's radar. I was inundated with email when I first joined this site. I still get emailed by every orientation and gender, even though on my profile it states specifically that any such queries should go through Sinergy. So anyone that actually emails me is either not reading my profile, or they just do not respect our wishes... I get several of these a week. This morning a lesbian domme emailed me, I was thinking, what part of "straight only looking for friends do you not understand?"

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:29:18 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		As others have said email is awful the first few weeks on this site.  You are fresh meat to be pounced upon.  Honestly though, I don't mind the idiotic emails, they are much more entertaining than the variety I often get which consist of "Hi" or "hello" or "I want to chat, what is your im."  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:30:06 AM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturesub4use

Good afternoon!

I have a question for the subs/slaves here who have some experience in CollarMe and have had success in managing their profiles and the resulting email flood (of often assanine, offensive or plain moronic emails).

In just reviewing my own profile after various journal additions based on the email experience, i have come to realize that i sound like an outright bitch! But the moment i remove these comments, the stupidity and volume of emails increases almost instantaneously.

How have you managed to get your points and desires/needs across without becoming a major turn-off "hell bitch"?

Your kind help is much appreciated,

maturesub

Sometimes it is not what you say, but how you say it. As you write your profile, consider your audience and think in terms of the kind of person(s) you would like to attract, and not necessarily in terms of the kinds of things you'd like to do or have done to you. There will be plenty of time to discuss those things once you have attracted a person(s) who would otherwise be a good match for you. For example, here was a line from my profile (which is hidden at present):

"...For me this is more about how I relate to a man and not about what kind of sex I have. Once the dynamics of the relationship- compatibility, respect, trust - are established, whatever kind of sex he desires will follow..."

Of course, I am not suggesting you and I desire the same things, but I can assure you we are attracting very different people.

If you'd like further help, I'd be more than happy. Just ask, I'll send you a PM, then you can respond to me.

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:32:59 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Other than using the email options there's really nothing you can do about the actions of others or the content of their emails.  You could spend a lot of effort deleting and blocking but i personally feel that is expending way more effort than they deserve.  *shrug*  i used to get upset with the jerks on the freeway who cut me off, tailgate, drive like idiots but now i just try to make eye contact and flash a big smile and wave.  i don't give in to negative energy that way and although it most likely a passive-agressive thing, i end up feeling better than if i had flipped the bird.  i took a similar approach to stupid emails... i just delete and move on.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:34:03 AM   
maturesub4use


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		I do admit that there is a certain entertainment value to some of them! My favorite must be (from a no-photo profile) a no-photo attached email saying "Look deep into my blue eyes and slowly sink to your knees before me"...or some similar Domming for Dummies excerpt.

Thank you for everyone's advice and encouragement!

maturesub

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:39:15 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		As per your original question, there is absolutely nothing you can write in your profile that will stop the clueless from contacting you... you cannot control their behavior no matter what you write. When I first joined this site I tried to reply to as many as I could to be polite, I changed my profile to reflect what I was looking for so as to cut down  on emails... it didn't work. And often these people would get pissed off at me because I reiterated what I wrote in my profile into a response...

It comes down to, we are just not responsible for the actions of others, nor their feelings, and altering your profile to change another's behavior, you will not accomplish anything

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to maturesub4use)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:52:18 AM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

As per your original question, there is absolutely nothing you can write in your profile that will stop the clueless from contacting you... you cannot control their behavior no matter what you write. When I first joined this site I tried to reply to as many as I could to be polite, I changed my profile to reflect what I was looking for so as to cut down  on emails... it didn't work. And often these people would get pissed off at me because I reiterated what I wrote in my profile into a response...

It comes down to, we are just not responsible for the actions of others, nor their feelings, and altering your profile to change another's behavior, you will not accomplish anything

I agree with everything you said in spades, but I do take exception to the line in bold. Altering her profile is not about changing another's behavior - it is about attracting more of the kind of person she desires. I agree with you that the clueless and wankers will respond to almost any profile, but the intelligent, thoughtful and sincere will not.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 11:58:37 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Every time you edit your profile, you end up back in the "New Users" list on the left hand side of the screen.  I figured this out the last time I edited my profile and suddenly there were a slew of emails from strangers (as opposed to forum peeps).  I even got some of the same "form letters" that I got when I was new.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to brainiacsub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Questions about profile management - 1/21/2008 12:04:26 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I even got some of the same "form letters" that I got when I was new.


Isn't if funny when they do that?
I guess they are hitting on so many subs they can't keep track.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 20
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