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KindLadyGrey -> RE: Dealing with distance (1/22/2008 10:15:59 AM)
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Um yeah, I should probably address the original question of the OP too.
I'm not exactly in a long distance relationship, but one of the boys I see has quite a drive to come see me, and I have family responsibilities, so getting face time together can be difficult. So far we've managed every other week or so, but between those times it's all IM and phone. On some level, I feel your pain.
I tend to be kind of a mush head, so take these suggestions with a grain of salt.
- Have you considered buying him a webcam? I've never been a big fan of domming through cam, but if you don't get to see a person you care about for long periods of time, sometimes it's nice just to see them smile at you. You two can experiment with more kinky cam stuff, but even just making him keep a regular appointment to talk with you can help offset the distance.
- Letters. REAL MAIL. There are few things more romantic than exchanging actual letters with a lover. You can make him write to you once a week. You can ask him to include a small item with the letter that reminded him of you, or to include something that would remind you of him. (A pressed flower, a movie ticket, a picture of a sign, anything.) Later, both of you will cherish these letters forever. Or maybe I'm just really old school ;)
- You can still tell him what to wear as often as you like. You can even send him clothes you want him to wear. Nothing says "I miss you, boy!" like a few pairs of silk panties. (If that's your thing.)
- If you two are computer handy, you can set up a remote desktop and he can do any computer related task that you need to do. He can organize your music, manage your playlists, and upload your pictures to your online photo album (if you have one). I tend to find these tasks really tedious.
- He can adhere to a respectful and polite code of conduct regardless of whether you are present or not. This sounds like something any person should do anyway, but in practice few of us spend anytime thinking on it and keeping conscious of our behavior.
- Bedtime phone calls. Give the boy a bedtime and call to put him to bed in the evenings. Depending on your personalities this may seem annoying, but enforcing a reasonable bedtime is an excellent way to provide a little structure to his day. . .and let's face it, it's also in his best interest. Who gets enough sleep these days?
Basically , you are looking for anything that creates some kind of structure for him to follow even if it's totally arbitrary (I like you in blue. Wear something blue every day.) It can even be something fun that just forces him to think of you. . .like every time he goes to a party he takes a shot of tequila on your behalf. I often ask even my vanilla friends to do things like this as a kind of game.
So a mix of useful and arbitrary fun stuff should help a bit.
Good luck. Long distance is hard.
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