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RE: being property - 1/23/2008 7:01:35 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		The key thig for me to remember is yes my slave is my property I can do with her whatever I wish.
However she is not a dog or animal but a human being and the gift she has given me is of such a great measure it can only be returned with love, caring and concern for her well being.

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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: being property - 1/23/2008 7:47:42 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		justnew,

seems that you already know the answer, in that you have returned to "your firstDom" To do that you already had a antisipation of what it was all about from the 1st time he owned you.

CP

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: being property - 1/23/2008 8:51:52 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The real issue is, since you didn't really think about what you were getting into until now, you have to go back a few steps and make up that work.

What exactly can you expect from him, and is that what will work for you? 

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1156933/mpage_1/key_property/tm.htm#1157050
are you really owned if you are not treated like property?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_786279/mpage_1/key_property/tm.htm#786309
Property

http://www.collarchat.com/m_134860/mpage_1/key_property/tm.htm#136884
Owner/property

http://www.collarchat.com/m_233800/mpage_1/key_property/tm.htm#233908
what is ownership?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: being property - 1/23/2008 8:54:13 PM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		cp, well actually the first time i was with my Dom we were only together for a month and i left because i didn't thik i could handle the poly situation... which i did understand when i first went to him.  At that time i was not his property, but just his sub.  When i came back to him this second time, we then discussed me being a slave/property and had been delving into that slowly.  Things have happened between us which have caused me to loose some trust, and feelings of affection.

i am trying to work through this, and have brought this up to him, but as i had stated before he doesn't seem to willing to really get into it with me and help me through it. i have basically been left to figure things out on my own... he sees me as his property to do with as he wishes.  i am to take it or leave it... and i'm trying to figure out if i realy want to leave or not....

that is why i'm trying to figure out what property really means and if i really fit that description or not....

i do feel my submission is a gift and the deeper the relationship the deeper my submission... and the more willing i would be to become property...


(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: being property - 1/23/2008 9:57:37 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

that is why i'm trying to figure out what property really means and if i really fit that description or not....

i do feel my submission is a gift and the deeper the relationship the deeper my submission... and the more willing i would be to become property...


what is it that you need from him to allow the relationship to deepen?  it can't just be you giving more w/o getting something back.  There's something missing here - is it the component that you want him to give?  the loving/caring/affection/attention that you need to feel from him in order to feel content and confident and THEN you would be able to become his property.  Because at that point you're receiving what you need, he's got what he needs, and bingo ... the word property works. 

But you really can't work this out w/o talking it through with him.  Does his 'doing with you as he wishes' include giving you the things you have said you need? 



(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: being property - 1/24/2008 8:49:43 AM   
justnewsub


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		yes it is the loving/caring/affection/attention that i crave to be able to make the word work.... and so far him "doing with me as he wishes" doesn't exactly include these things.  i have discussed this with him, but i don't think it is clicking in his head...

we had a good discussion the other night which is what prompted the messages i posted here.  what is difficult with me is on a non BDSM D/s perspective i like him very very much... but on the BDSM D/s level i don't think we are a match... :(

(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: being property - 1/24/2008 8:56:50 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justnewsub

yes it is the loving/caring/affection/attention that i crave to be able to make the word work.... and so far him "doing with me as he wishes" doesn't exactly include these things.  i have discussed this with him, but i don't think it is clicking in his head...

we had a good discussion the other night which is what prompted the messages i posted here.  what is difficult with me is on a non BDSM D/s perspective i like him very very much... but on the BDSM D/s level i don't think we are a match... :(


perhaps a second round of talking.....or a week of rest..and then try again.
I guess it is hard for both to put aside the way you look at things. Soemwhere there should be a middle way to satisfy both if you 2 really like eachother.


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: being property - 1/24/2008 9:48:04 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		That's why exploration is great.  You can look at what works for you and what does not.  Not everyones idea is going to fit into your scheme.  I, for one, don't play the owned fetish.  It has never been my thing, although I am very "his" when I am committed.  I just don't see the property angle in good light.  I love my Saturn, but frankly it can go weeks without a washing.  I adore the velvet and satin bedspread I made, but it does stay in my linen closet for months before I put it back on my bed.  People say if you don't take care of your property it can leave, but really, if it can walk away was it really your property?  My car goes unwashed, tough.  My bedspread has yet to slip out of my closet on its own.
You have to choose what works for you intellectually.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: being property - 1/25/2008 7:31:29 AM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justnewsub

yes it is the loving/caring/affection/attention that i crave to be able to make the word work.... and so far him "doing with me as he wishes" doesn't exactly include these things.  i have discussed this with him, but i don't think it is clicking in his head...

we had a good discussion the other night which is what prompted the messages i posted here.  what is difficult with me is on a non BDSM D/s perspective i like him very very much... but on the BDSM D/s level i don't think we are a match... :(


For what it's worth, I understand what you're saying.  Perhaps in talking more with him, and seeing if he can understand where you're coming from and to be sure that he is satisfied with the way things are also.  I wish you well!

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: being property - 1/25/2008 10:18:44 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		"Property" is well defined in the dictionary and the thesaurus. If you don't like the definition, don't be property. Having said that, there is no rule book, so you can make it the way you want, it is not always helpful to stick a label on things. If that doesn't work for your dom, try another, there's dozens . Being happy is your first priority.

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: being property - 1/25/2008 1:24:08 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		While my relationship is a bit more fluid than many, BSB would probably do almost anything I asked and certainly 99% of things people here would come up with.  Same goes for my car, it won't fly or float and if I drive it off a cliff I won't have a car tomorrow and I have to deal with how I treat my property.

She is willing to do nearly anything for me with almost no questions because I have shown her time and time again that when we come out on the other side, we are closer and happier.  If I was to ask her things just to "test" her obedience it would be hot for a few times but she would then begin to see that I don't believe her or that I have some insecure hole she can't fill.  Both of those would undermine the relationship.

The classic example of "will she do anything" is to ask her if she would go vanilla for you...

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: being property - 1/25/2008 2:03:44 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justnewsub

yes it is the loving/caring/affection/attention that i crave to be able to make the word work.... and so far him "doing with me as he wishes" doesn't exactly include these things.  i have discussed this with him, but i don't think it is clicking in his head...



I went through something similar with my former master.  I was his slave..... his property and he fed just enough of my submissive soul to keep me hanging in there.  But deep down inside I knew that his lack of regard for my needs for loving, caring, attention and affection meant that he and I just were not compatible.

Now that I am owned and collared by a man who happily meets my needs, I realized that with my former owner, I was sacrificing very important parts of myself for a man who could have cared less if I was happy and fulfilled.  So his apathy about his property cost him that very property.

But I take responsibility for staying in that relationship when I should have walked away. 

You just have to decide what you can and cannot live with in a relationship.  Take care and good luck.

(in reply to justnewsub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: being property - 1/25/2008 3:02:49 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The real issue is, since you didn't really think about what you were getting into until now, you have to go back a few steps and make up that work.

What exactly can you expect from him, and is that what will work for you? 




I agree completely.  You need to take some time and sort out your feelings.  And keep an open dialog with your Dom. 

PS I don't own my cat or dogs.  I am their guardian.  One cannot do what one likes with an animal, since they are protected by law.  A person can voluntarily submit to slavery; and animal cannot. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: being property - 1/25/2008 8:50:36 PM   
sweetsub1986


Posts: 41
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline 		I am the very happy property of Gizzo. I am property yes a very cherished peice of property. As he once explained to someone else"imagine that you own the most rare and percious of jewels...for example the Hope Diamond...the girls I own are far more percious than that. Nothing is more valueable to me than them." He is very in tune with my needs in all respects. In short I love being  his property.

_____________________________

I have found myself, good friends(family of the heart rather than blood), and an amazing love.
Proudly Owned by Gizzo!!!!!!!!

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: being property - 1/25/2008 11:41:10 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		If something belongs to me, I am going to take care of it.  I want it to last can get the most out of it.  Regardless of what the property is.  I take good care of what is mine and feel anyone who has ever had to earn something and not always been given things their whole life will have a better idea of responsibilty and the importance of taking care of what is theres.  Including a sub  Look how someone takes care of their own possessions and property.  Their car, their home, everything.  If they think of you as property, they will treat you no different.


(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: being property - 1/26/2008 1:23:56 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

Look how someone takes care of their own possessions and property. Their car, their home, everything. If they think of you as property, they will treat you no different.


But some sub  need more than just physical needs met and tended to, they want the emotional need care and tended to as well and that may mean hugs and kisses,  I did not have live handed to me on a silver platter, I have been working since I was 15  and what I have through hard work, but I sure as heck do not give my car or house hugs and kisses, not all doms the view their subs as property provide the hugs kisses and I love you's , this is what I realized I would end of foregoing in my last relationship if I  became his property, not every sub would be happy without that form of attention


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to KnOcala)
Profile   Post #: 36
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