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Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/24/2008 12:16:00 AM

femalesasslikr

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Sometimes are fantasies far exceed the reality of a situation. In my case, I am 54, well educated and march at a very different beat than a lot of people.

I have been to a lot of Dommes. Now that has been limited to Asian Dommes in Bangkok. The One I spent the most time with had been in the scene for 7 years and knew her stuff. She hurt me! But She never damaged me! By that I mean She hurt me physically and emotionally, but never demeaned me in a way that damaged me. In fact, after a 12 hour session with her, I think my self-esteem went up while my ego weakened a bit. Does that make sense?

One of the fantasies I have always had, was to lick a woman's asshole and the real experience surpassed the fantasy! As far as the physical pain, at the time i did not like it, but afterwards, I appreciated it.

i have experienced a lot in those dungeons. Everything from being sounded to having my nipple pierced, drinking piss and being fisted. Of course i got the whole smorgasbord of what traditionally is in dungeons.

Am i a submissive? i think i am, but i am still quite selfish! i still have a male ego, and probably look at the scene as a place to satisfy a lot of my kinks.

i fantasize about extreme things, like branding, ball-busting and being a full-scale toilet, but i quite honestly doubt that i would follow through on any of those things.

i have not truly entered the scene, to the point of truly submitting and not trying to control from the bottom. Maybe i am more of a masochist than a submissive? Anyway, they are all just labels.

i do want to experience time with a lifestyle Domme Who is a bit of a sadist, while having a loving wisdom. Maybe someday.

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/24/2008 1:21:31 PM

MisPandora

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I think I missed the point. Was there a question or some more in that novella?

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/24/2008 2:19:58 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

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Well....its good to see men with the courage to admit they are very satisfied customers.
Puritans on these boards scoff at the professional domination business. How dare she charge? How stupid is he for paying? Shame on them! Its immoral!!!

Well here's proof the pro-domme industry serves a useful purpose.

femaleasslikr got all his fantasies fulfilled without spamming 10,000 disinterested women, endless email and going on pointless dates with unattractive people.

And I expect Thailand is cheap. Sex tourism is one of their chief revenue earners.

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/24/2008 6:07:15 PM

MisPandora

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Only it might have been more heartily received in a place that actively promotes that profession LOL

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/25/2008 7:34:58 AM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

I think I missed the point. Was there a question or some more in that novella?

MisPandora,
I think he was telling us that he's been a paying bottom to the pros which was a positive experience for him where he learned a lot about himself, but wasn't diminished as person in the process. It sounds as though he now feels as though based on those experiences, he's realized that some fantasies may best be left as fantasies only and that he may actually be a submissive at heart, but may also be more of a masochist than a submissive; something he's not certain about. It's an implicit question about which he may be as he's interested in experiencing time shared with a lifestyle Domme where money isn't part of the exchange; perhaps to discover which is the case?

You might say, it also sounded to me, as both a bit of a revealing post about his experiences and the conflict he's having over where where he might fall in the spectrum between being a submissive or simply a masochist who enjoys bottoming.

Please correct me if I've interpreted your post incorrectly femalesasslikr.

- pixel

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/25/2008 11:00:20 AM

MsIncontrol

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*Disclaimer* I am not, not have ever been a professional, but do see the need and usefulness of their services. I am not speaking for every single person out there, this post is based on my experienced in the lifestyle and those I have come across.

Your story sounds like many of the men I have come across over the years. I think you will fall into one of few categories, based on my experience.

1) A man who enjoys his sessions with professionals as he is more of a bottom than a submissive. He maintains control and has his kinks and fetishes fulfilled and he doesn't mind paying for it. Your "pro-dominants" have catered to your desires and expected nothing back in return but a fee. Great for stress relief, similar to working out at the gym. These types when faced with a lifestyle Domme bring us a list of what they want done to them and we refer to them as "do me" types. This type of individual is the exact and prime candidate for professionals.

2) A man who enjoys his sessions with professionals but feels like something is missing. Has yet to experience giving up control as he is used to being the one with the money = holds the power. Would like to experience true exchange of power but has no idea how to do it and usually comes to lifestyle dommes with desire to serve but has yet to know how. When the right woman comes along he will be able to serve her and still have his needs met and limited pushed and expanded.

3) The type who should really see a pro...but doesn't want to pay for it...and calls all of us life-stylers "fakes" when we refuse to provide them what they want with nothing in return.

4) The undesirable male. This is the type of guy who is either socially or physically unacceptable in mainstream society. This is the type who can't normally communicate or interact with people in relationships and who must pay for any type of intimate services.

I think that you can still be in control of your person, still have an ego and power and selfishness in life and be a good. lifestyle submissive. For me, I prefer men with power and strength in their lives and choose to submit to me than those who are sniveling, wimps. The more personal power you have..the more I can take from you. Oh, how the mighty can fall. It is more intense and more wonderful than anything I can describe. My husband/submissive is a very controlled, strong and mighty guy in life....but he is on his knees and catering to my desires at home. It is a wonderful life balance.

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/25/2008 11:39:37 AM

Marsh

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I am not certain I understand your point or if in fact there is one, but I applaud you for in a real life setting exploring your fantasies to the point of recognizing there are fantasies that stretch beyond the limits of sanity and reality.

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/25/2008 1:02:33 PM

femalesasslikr

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MsInControl: I would say 1-2 are closer the the truth and the remaining ones not so true.

Pixel slave was pretty spot on.

MsC is correct: except that the dungeons are not houses of prostitution-there are no services involving penetration, with the exception of the Domme using a strap-on on you.

Also, though there is a list you go through to help the Domme determine your limits and a "safe word" decided on, the Domme always has some surprises and often you wish you had not asked for some of the activities---"never go shopping on an empty stomach" LOL. When a Domme fisted me, I never asked for that! I would never ask for it after having experienced it, but i had pissed her off and that was punishment

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/25/2008 3:21:41 PM

zoescherry

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I aplaud the Op's honesty in not trying to present himself as the dream sub and is open minded enough to understand there are so many different levels to our needs and desires..does bring to mind though the phrase "be careful what you wish for" real life Dommes..the ones who dont have to try to hard..they can be just what they say on the tin..lol demanding and often testing to live with

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/25/2008 3:58:13 PM

unforegvn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femalesasslikr

i do want to experience time with a lifestyle Domme Who is a bit of a sadist, while having a loving wisdom. Maybe someday.

This may be your greatest fantasy!

From the brief but effective clues you have given us it is my opinion, you are a masochist first and submissive when it suits your desires. Do you stay with Pro's to keep commitment from grabbing hold of your soul?

It isn't easy sharing your thoughts even with strangers.

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RE: Fantasy and Reality-my experiences - 1/25/2008 6:16:35 PM

Cedwen

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Joined: 1/29/2007
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Despite my subs sreaming and pleading for mercy that is seldom granted I have not done my job properly despite pain and sufffering that the sub feels far beyond what they thought they could stand When I feel the sub has had enough for its understanding and past experience of suffferind disipline.The sub often asks for more even though it had screamed for mercy many times. The sub asked for disipline and punnishment lite or heavy IT gets whatit has requested Without mercy.I get my pleasure.The sub only feelsp leasure after it recieves its punnishment My personal full time slave thelimit is of my determinationDespite often ending in what seems a state of collapse It quite ofen pleads for more Seldom granted as I do not realy want to cause any permanent damage tomy slave or sub at any time after all they at first volunteered and presented themselves for disipline I explain what will happen to them.Once they accept \thatand understand this and present themselves There is no going back.They get what they asked for and more. My permanent slave is just that Aslave there is seldomany redemption unless illness or damage is apparent

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