subtee
Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: camille65 Thanks everyone, all of you have given me a similiar path with slightly different ways to take it. Which is just what I was looking for. Yes the 20 was a thankyou/tip towards him and nothing more.I will combine the advice given (with the exception of foreign snow ya weirdo Ron lol) and pay some but not all with an explanation of it not being contracted service. I absolutely hate confrontation, I crumple like a wet Kleenex. Argh. And I worry, I always worry that perhaps 'they' are correct and the error is in my perception of things. So the help and advice all you of offered here was just what I needed. Thanks, all of you. I understand your hesitancy, strained relationships with neighbors are a nightmare. For that reason, I wouldn't talk to the other neighbors; they may tell him that you're talking about him behind his back. Are you okay with talking face-to-face to him? If not, a carefully worded note should be okay, and it will also leave a paper trail. "Hey [neighbor]; I received your bill for $175.00, was that for the street plowing? Sorry, don't mean to seem dim, but I thought that came out of the road maintenance fee? Let me know if this was in error or was to be addressed to someone else. Thank you!" In this way he has to admit that he's charging you--make him say it if he's gonna ask you for money. So if he then comes back and says this is for the times I plowed your drive, let him know that you didn't ask for it: "Oh god, I'm sorry, I would never have had you do that! I wish you had asked me and let me know what the charge would be ahead of time. As you may be aware, I'm not working right now due to some health issues, so I'm not sure how to proceed. I welcome your thoughts, though! Best regards..." If there is a beating heart in his chest he should then let it go! If so, I'd make him some brownies or a crock pot of something or whatever, just to smooth the last of any rough edges. If he doesn't let it go: "Neighbor, we've got to work this together because to me more important than money or anything else is living side by side in harmony and good feelings toward each other. What do you think we should do, because I didn't (wouldn't, couldn't) request the plowing, but I understand you had an expense in doing it for me. Do you know how much that expense was? Maybe we could try things from that angle." Just some ideas, Sweet. Wish you well! (let us know, if you feel like it)
< Message edited by subtee -- 1/24/2008 1:39:39 PM >
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