Power

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Aneirin -> Power (1/24/2008 7:13:37 AM)
Some of us seek power over an individual or individuals, but what is the ultimate end of that desire for power, where does it come from, and what is it's intent? As we are all meant to be civilised living in our modern society, is the desire for power over people really a primitive need in an age where we are meant to be more advanced?

celticlord2112 -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:19:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aneirin Some of us seek power over an individual or individuals, but what is the ultimate end of that desire for power, where does it come from, and what is it's intent? As we are all meant to be civilised living in our modern society, is the desire for power over people really a primitive need in an age where we are meant to be more advanced? Since when are people "civilized"? And who says we are "meant" to be anything. We desire what we desire. Some desire to rule, others to be ruled. That is the order of things.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:20:46 AM)
The desire for power is what leads some people to move ahead and lead and others to be content and follow. Without at least some desire for power of some sort, who would want to move up to higher paying, high stress jobs that happen to come with more prestige? Who would run businesses and manage others? The desire for power doesnt have to be overwhelming but it is what moves some of us to advance. It is not strictly a primitive need, and it is one I hope we never advance beyond. Without that desire for power, no one would ever strive to leave their position in life to better themselves and we woud all become happily stagnant. My enjoyment of power over my boys is a comfortable consentual exchange within my relationships. I dont want that sort of power over everyone. Fox does not wish to be powerful. He is far more comfortable with the idea to hand someone else the reins. Before he met me, tha someone else tended to be his father and now it is my responsability. At work, however, I do enjoy th power I have over my department technicians, and the freedom to do more or less as I please to better things there. My 2 semi-sleepy cents, hope it makes sense to someone other than me DV

Jeffff -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:37:32 AM)
Is it power?...or control?....just tossing that out there. Jeff

gypsygrl -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:41:09 AM)
Generally, if I'm going to get off my butt and get me some of that power stuff, it's for the betterment of others. I don't have much use for power for its own sake. I teach and when I walk into the class room, I have a limited amount of power by virtue of my position but that's rarely enough to kick off a learning process in my students. In order to do well, I have to convince my students to, in effect, give me more power. I have to gain their respect and show them that its in their interest to empower me. Its a lot of work and I wouldn't do it if I didn't have a passion for the subjects I teach and a sincere desire to further my students intellectual development. I don't see this as being opposed to the fact that we're 'meant to be civilized.' My goal in teaching is to make use of my power in such a way that, by the end of the semester, students end up more powerful than they were when they first walked into my classroom. I want to enhance my students skills and abilities and to the extent that I'm successful, I enhance their power.

LaTigresse -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:41:54 AM)
I want the POWER!!! Muah ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa! < please note booming, deep, evil laugh. And now why am I hearing some really hideous discoish 70's or 80's song run through my head? Personally I think it is a very primal, animal type, instinct. Think, pack of wolves.

OmegaG -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:44:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aneirin Some of us seek power over an individual or individuals, but what is the ultimate end of that desire for power, where does it come from, and what is it's intent? As we are all meant to be civilised living in our modern society, is the desire for power over people really a primitive need in an age where we are meant to be more advanced? How in depth do you want to go? Short antropological answer: We are hunter/gatherers by nature. Humans became agrarian by will but that doesn't change our genetic wiring. Humans have changed their environment but they've not changed their core charecteristics. And I'm not entirely sure that we are meant to live "civilized" in this modern environment. IMO there is nothing civil about civilization.

KatyLied -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:44:38 AM)
I've always preferred the word authority.

Jeffff -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:47:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I've always preferred the word authority. I like that

SimplyMichael -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 7:52:10 AM)
I desire to be fulfilled, nothing more, nothing less. I create a relationship that fulfills me and my partner and how we do that is unique to us.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 8:00:02 AM)
~ Fast Reply ~ Some additional words to add - responsibility, authority, decision making. These connote "power" but in the context of a relationship it is a case of submission to a dynamic that reflects an complimentary exchange. Ideally the dynamic is set up as a result of investing time to determine self awareness, finding a complimentary partner, and outlining goals and expectations for the relationship. The result is that the ultimate "power" is held by the relationship, with the individuals who make it up serving it. Long ago I used to say to beth, agreeing to this dynamic will be the last decision you will make. Essentially that is correct, but pragmatically decisions like whether to go left or right at a stop sign, still rest with her. I'll leave it to others to argue the semantics of that distinction. There was a transfer of power, an assumption of responsibilities; fully consensual by both of us. I'd point to the consensual aspect as representing the "civilized" nature of the relationship. The "intent" was very basic - comfort. That 'self-awareness' I mentioned determined that the dynamic we discussed, outlined, and documented was what would make us comfortable in our life. The hard part was trusting the other to fulfill the duties and responsibilities that came with the assumption and surrendering of "power". I would say it's worked out - so far.

KindLadyGrey -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 8:04:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse And now why am I hearing some really hideous discoish 70's or 80's song run through my head? I'm hoping that song is "The Touch" from the Transformers Movie. It's in my head now too. Thanks :P As for me, I like having power. I do feel that this need is relatively primal. I like having power, being in control, etc. because when I have power people can't f*** with me. I mean, they can try, but if I've got the power they can't really hurt me. That's why romance is so goddamn terrifying and so goddamn important. It forces me to give power to someone else. Also, I like being able to do what I want when I want to do it without having to argue, cajole, or compromise first. I am a woman of action! I want do DO, not spend endless time explaining why I am DOing. I'm a horrible control freak. I'd let someone else take over if I ever found someone I felt was actually competent to do so. Thus far, no luck.

Alumbrado -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 8:09:36 AM)
All of our needs are primitive. Society doesn't eliminate them, it reinforces, especially the need for power over others

chellekitty -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 9:43:27 AM)
like Katy i prefer authority.... the following is borrowed, not my own...some definitions of power and authority that i choose to apply to this lifestyle... Power is given. It is raw, provides no choices, it is force. A "have to do it" situation. Authority is earned. It inspires trust, respect, and willingness to work together. It is coperative and mutually strengthening.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 9:52:04 AM)
"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac", isn't that from Henry Kissinger? /goofy rambling follows/ I really can't explain why I have to be on top of things, be the one who knows the answers, the one who has the job done, and the slack picked up.... is it genetic (look at my mom, and Be Very Afraid), helped by growing up in the early feminist movement? I don't know. I was raised to serve, I know what it is to follow the chain of command, happy about or not. I know I don't like it when I am not the one giving the orders, or at the very least working with autonomy. The annoying part: the responsibility! Why do I run from men who want to be my slave? Because I have kept slaves, and I do not want that level of responsibility for someone that I haven't given birth to. Out in the world, am I sick to death of being the person with the answers? YES. Did I set myself up for it? Certainly. /end goofy rambling/

Leatherist -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 9:55:22 AM)
It is often those with the least personal power, who want to have it over others the most.

KatyLied -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 9:55:27 AM)
LuckyAlbatross is the one who got me thinking about authority, she has posted about it.

RCdc -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 10:06:09 AM)
If someone wants power over me, they will not gain it. Darcy does not and never wanted to have power over me. Power has to do with force. We are not supposed to be civilized, thats the way to make people behave how people want you to behave, not how you are. Darcy preferes the use of authority. the.dark.

thetammyjo -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 10:54:27 AM)
I think that every living being has power -- the ability to make things happen. I prefer authority myself. That means that I've earned (in some fashion) the right to exercise my power and direct other power from those who recognize my authority. Because of that I don't think I've called what I do or want a "power exchange" for well over a decade or so.

gypsygrl -> RE: Power (1/24/2008 11:27:54 AM)
As a political theorist, I think alot about legitimate and illegitimate uses of power and the uses and abuses of authority. Power--the ability to overcome resistance--doesn't necessarily involve force and can quite easily take the form of a seduction. Authority can certainly enhance a persons power by minimizing resistance. Sticking with my experience as a teacher, I don't want my students to see me as an authority--I don't really teach content--but I do need them to grant me the power to 'run' the class. They pretty much do what I tell them to, and, in the course of class discussion, focus their minds and comments on what I tell them to focus on but I certainly don't want them to take my word on any subject as the last one or even as being more significant than their own words or the words of their peers. I need their obedience or everything goes to hell and nobodys going to learn anything but I don't need them to look to me as an authority.

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