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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 6:19:31 AM

subtreat4u

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Thanks POV I understand POV

"The Language of Letting Go"

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 6:39:14 AM

beltainefaerie

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I think that what you may be trying to understand is whether or not you are ready for or even desiring 24/7, which is what she wants to know before things go further. Is that correct? If that is the case, think about what experiences you have had with submission. If they are very few, then I would admit that and the honest answer to her question is "I don't know". Perhaps the answer is even, "I don't know, because at this time I have too little experience. Why I want to be devoted and the fantasy of 24/7 sounds wonderful, I am not at all sure what the reality would be like and I don't want to disappoint you by saying I'm ready to jump in and finding out I'm not really being ready." I imagine she would appreciate your honesty. It may be that none of these are your perspective, but sometimes I find that throwing things out there can at least give someone an idea to push against. I know that I have always fantasized about a 24/7 D/s relationship, but only now, after many yers of experience, do I think I could handle it in reality. Even at that, it is not so much the experience, as the combination of my maturity now and my relationship with my Master.

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 9:54:32 AM

devotedsylph

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Personally, I still think it is WAY too soon to be talking about what things "might" be like. You should be focusing on how they are NOW. Why spend all that time talking about what might or might not happen instead of trying to develop the relationship?

TPE is hard. No two people here will give you the same perspective. Every Dom/me is different and every relationship unique. What might be TPE in one household may not be so in another.

Relax, sit back, and see where things go - if anywhere.

simply,
sylph

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 10:12:20 AM

subtreat4u

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devotedsylph

Thanks.

Wonderful advice,
I will try my best!

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 1:14:12 PM

BlackPhx

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subtreat4u

You have gotten some very good advice, and I support it all wholeheartedly. Master and I have been together 4 years now and we are still not TPE. We may never be. You see to me, TPE is a journey not a destination. It is not an easy journey by any means and often involves struggle on both sides as freedoms are taken and given up. Things you take for granted now, become your Dominants to administer and believe me you will struggle every step of the way and rebellion will occur. Hell despite everything including my own needs and desires I still buck and sunfish everytime the past rears it's head and slams me in the face. A good place to start on information is http://www.enslavement.org.uk/tpe and http://www.powerotics.com/ .

There are many things you need to discuss when first meeting with a dominant, any dominant. But more than anything there are things you need to discuss with yourself, long before you go 24/7 with anyone and the first of those is, how much is this a constant need in your life? Is it something you need occasionally, constantly, how much of your life is consumed by the need. How much reality do you need verses the fantasy of it? Be honest with yourself. Brutally honest. IF you decide this is truly something you need in your life, in every moment of your life, go slow. Extremely slow. Don't rush. You are committing your life to another's hands and pleasure. Be sure that the person you give that devotion to deserves it and honors what you are giving. Holds it as precious as you do. It is very easy to be caught up in NRE (new relationship euphoria) and it can lead you to be blind to dangers you normally would catch up front. Talk, discuss and talk some more, not in the context of BDSM but as people who are equal to each other. Ask questions, consider the answers and above all trust your instincts.

Good luck on your journey if you decide to make it.

poenkitten

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 1:47:24 PM

subtreat4u

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poenkitten

Your advice, and opinion is well taken! I have not really slept well in 3 days thinking of this. Last night I did not sleep at all. The links you posted I just received the one on TPE already today, the second link I had not seen, and Appreciate Both Very Much! It is very sobering; I think it is now finally settling in.
She had sent me a long list of things she would control, and make the decisions on (Hygiene products, hair style, clothes, finances, possibly limiting my activities that I enjoy ect…)
She told me not to take this lightly, or to rush my thoughts on this it was, is very serious! I feel she is a fine Lady, and i believe She has my best interests at heart! It struck me then, but you hit a nerve with me Fantasy – reality, truly need in my life, freedoms taken, and given up. While it is unfair for me to not speak to her about these concerns, I will truly think longer, and harder. One of the biggest fears I have is to fail in this relationship, if it indeed materializes! You are very thoughtful as well as insightful. Thank You jim P.S. I want to say that I have been given so much advice, and insight in to this. I am truly overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness, the show of compassion, and concern. Thank You All

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 6:16:12 PM

devotedsylph

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtreat4u

poenkitten

Your advice, and opinion is well taken! I have not really slept well in 3 days thinking of this. Last night I did not sleep at all. The links you posted I just received the one on TPE already today, the second link I had not seen, and Appreciate Both Very Much! It is very sobering; I think it is now finally settling in.
She had sent me a long list of things she would control, and make the decisions on (Hygiene products, hair style, clothes, finances, possibly limiting my activities that I enjoy ect…)
She told me not to take this lightly, or to rush my thoughts on this it was, is very serious! I feel she is a fine Lady, and i believe She has my best interests at heart! It struck me then, but you hit a nerve with me Fantasy – reality, truly need in my life, freedoms taken, and given up. While it is unfair for me to not speak to her about these concerns, I will truly think longer, and harder. One of the biggest fears I have is to fail in this relationship, if it indeed materializes! You are very thoughtful as well as insightful. Thank You jim P.S. I want to say that I have been given so much advice, and insight in to this. I am truly overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness, the show of compassion, and concern. Thank You All

1. You are worrying about this WAY too much if you are losing sleep. She is a stranger.

2. I still haven't seen any mention of the NOW of the relationship, only the "what might be".

simply,
sylph

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/26/2008 1:59:41 AM

subtreat4u

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devotedsylph Beautiful White Horse.

She is a stranger!
Truth there is possibility .
I do not need to drag my self down

Sleeping pills are working,

Thank You,
For posting this message!

< Message edited by subtreat4u -- 1/26/2008 2:16:48 AM >

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