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Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 3:17:59 PM   
submissivesilk


Posts: 154
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		i have been assigned a few tasks, one of which is to find a Domme to do a session with. i have put some information into my journal but so far haven't gotten any serious replies. Mostly still men, they can't seem to see the term Domme. Does anyone have any better ideas?

< Message edited by submissivesilk -- 9/2/2005 3:28:36 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 3:50:24 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline 		How about trying to look a bit more active than just putting "some information into my journal" and waiting to be found?
Or you may consider a pro.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 4:01:08 PM   
submissivesilk


Posts: 154
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		i have been contacting a few myself. There just don't seem to be many who are intersted in doing one or two sessions. i've dont want to offend anyone.

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 4:18:49 PM   
ManOwner


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		Seems hard to believe that an actual professional domme would not be interested in taking your money.

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 4:51:19 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivesilk

i have been contacting a few myself. There just don't seem to be many who are intersted in doing one or two sessions. i've dont want to offend anyone.


Well most dominant women who are not pros might not see the benefit of just catering to someone for one or two sessions. Then again some might. You are looking for something quite specific that won't be easy to find, unless of course you pay a ProDomme. So unless you are willing to dish out some cash, my advice is be extra patient.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 5:44:14 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ManOwner

Seems hard to believe that an actual professional domme would not be interested in taking your money.


I have to agree. I know a number of prodoms and not one issues frequent whipped coupons. Generally they take it one session at a time and don't really expect return business.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to ManOwner)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 5:52:31 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivesilk

i have been assigned a few tasked, one of which is to find a Domme to do a session with. i have put some information into my journal but so far haven't gotten any serious replies. Mostly still men lol, they can't seem to see the term Domme. Does anyone have any better ideas?


Please forgive My confusion.
Did I miss something in your profile or journal? Who is assigning you this task?

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 7:08:44 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I certainly take my professional clients one session at a time. Even regulars can take a break from play. Finding a good match in a pro domme is not simple, either.

I also missed the point, somehow---why are you having this session? Is it not possible to make friends where you are, or are you in an isolated area?

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 7:53:08 PM   
submissivesilk


Posts: 154
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		i'm in a very small conservative town. The only Domme in my area had problems with the "forced bisexuality" of it. My profile has not been changed lately and that is another issue lol.

Anyway, i have not approached a Pro, and yes that is a possibility. But as this will be my first time i was hoping for someone that i could get to know a bit first.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 9:17:57 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline 		Are you within an hour or so of a larger city? Texas must have quite a few local BDSM groups, and if you attend the munches of one of them you make be able to make friends with a domme who would consider casual play with a friend.

< Message edited by onceburned -- 8/31/2005 9:18:54 PM >

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Session with a Domme - 8/31/2005 9:38:31 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivesilk

i have been assigned a few tasked, one of which is to find a Domme to do a session with.


As you described it here, this doesn't sound much different from the guys who email me saying they're going to be in SF for a couple of days, and want to serve. My standard response is "I'm not a Pro."

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/1/2005 11:13:06 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

i have been assigned a few tasked, one of which is to find a Domme to do a session with. i have put some information into my journal but so far haven't gotten any serious replies. Mostly still men lol, they can't seem to see the term Domme. Does anyone have any better ideas?


You might want to investigate your local scene. I've played with my share of Female tops in my time, and I've never laid out a cent.

It's been my experience that like begets like; if you are interesting, can handle yourself respectfully in a group of SMers, ask intelligent questions and generally make a decent impression overall, I would think that you could arrange a scene with a Female Top within the first few weeks or so.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/1/2005 11:14:38 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

i'm in a very small conservative town.


I thought the same thing 7 years ago when I was ready to venture out and find the kinky people. Much to my delight, they were there. And I'm sure that you can find your community within driving distance if you so choose.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/1/2005 3:11:11 PM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I want to agree with the recommendations of finding a local RL group to socialize with. In the organizations I have been involved with, there have been plenty of Dommes and Female SM Tops who would be happy to practice their skills on any willing "victim". If your primary objective is to broaden your horizons by scening with different types of partners, these women would be ideal.

That said, if your Dom/master wants you to have a sexual encounter with this woman, a lot of the Pro Dommes are out, and many of the Tops I mentioned above are out as well. If the primary objective is sexual, you might want to look into the local lesbian scene for a gentle butch lady. Many of them like collecting "cherries" as much as some men.

Regardless, be honest with any woman you approach about the scope of the relationship you are looking for.

Nuke}:-

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/1/2005 9:21:09 PM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		From the limited information provided, it sounds like you were told (by a dom/master-type?) to find a woman to perform a scene with you. Honestly, I wouldn't take you up on it either.

I've been approached more than once before by girls/women in this situation. I am not into performing for your dom/masters pleasure, and therefore would tell you 'No' outright. This is more about serving someone else than it's about playing with a partner, Dominance or anything. It's feeding exectly one person, and that's not Me. I'm not a switch, so it does nothing for me. So, why would I want to perform for someone at your request?

You might want to talk to Switches or other submissives. At least one of them might get off in doing this as a service for you and your 'other' (whomever that may be). There are some great submissives who can dress and play the part rather well and consider it fulfilling. I doubt a Dominant woman would be fulfilled, unless he's being paid (in one way or another.)

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/27/2005 5:11:59 PM   
punnishme


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ManOwner

Seems hard to believe that an actual professional domme would not be interested in taking your money.



why should we have to pay, i dont know why all of these women need to make money off of the lifestyle (here i go i probably got myself into something i shouldn't have by saying that but oh well)

(in reply to ManOwner)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/27/2005 5:30:37 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: punnishme

quote:

ORIGINAL: ManOwner

Seems hard to believe that an actual professional domme would not be interested in taking your money.



why should we have to pay, i dont know why all of these women need to make money off of the lifestyle (here i go i probably got myself into something i shouldn't have by saying that but oh well)

Hopefullly this will not start again. You have been on the boards over 2 months, I'm sure if you would like to see almost EVERYONE's thoughts, ad nauseum, you know how to pull a search. Maybe you even have a comment or two on those? Maybe not, I'm just guessing.....

< Message edited by kc692 -- 9/27/2005 5:31:07 PM >

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/28/2005 6:29:31 AM   
MistressKay


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivesilk
i have been contacting a few myself. There just don't seem to be many who are intersted in doing one or two sessions. i've dont want to offend anyone.


Your best option is to attend a local bdsm play party. To find the local bdsm parties you have to attend local munches and get to know the people in your community. There are usually many femDommes present at bdsm play parties and once you get to know the people there it is not unusual for a casual scene to take place. I know for myself I have often enjoyed a playful casual scene with someone new to the community - giving them just a taste of what we do without over loading them with too much stimulation (no extreme activities). Many of the femDommes in my local community also do the same thing - so this may certainly be an option for you.

If you are looking for sexual submission then you will find FemDommes less willing on average to do anything on a one time basis. Women in general tend to not be fond of one night stands - that level of intimacy usually requires more trust which is rarely found in strangers.

I wish you all the best,

Lady Kay

(in reply to submissivesilk)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Session with a Domme - 9/28/2005 6:51:12 AM   
MistressKay


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: punnishme

why should we have to pay, i dont know why all of these women need to make money off of the lifestyle (here i go i probably got myself into something i shouldn't have by saying that but oh well)


You shouldn't have to pay if you are looking for a give and take bdsm relationship. If however you go to a FemDomme and expects her to have all the toys, all the equipment, the facilities, the expensive fetwear, the shoes, etc... and you bring NOTHING - then I see that as you are taking without giving (you are using her!). You may want to bring a few toys of your own for her to use just so she knows you are not taking advantage of her (gifts are also a wonderful way of saying how much you appreciate all her efforts and the use of her equipment). Most FemDommes over time who are not in committed relationship will eventually feel "used" because they are expected to supply everything. This is a sore spot for many FemDommes.

If you invited a woman out to dinner and a night of intimacy afterwards, wouldn't you expect to at least offer to buy her dinner? FemDommes don't even get that kind of polite generosity on average. Is it no wonder some may actually want something to help offset their costs?

There will always be people who take advantage of other people - but that is not the majority. Join a local bdsm group and you will see many people to the contrary - they do this because they love what they do, not for money.

Pro-dommes have their place in the world for they do provide a service without strings and with a level of discretion essential for many who want to explore submission (this is especially true for married men who love their wives but need this - so a pro-domme will give them what they need without a "relationship" that will compromise their home life). Pro-Dommes and Lifestyle Dommes are often mixed together, but they are two very different things.

On a side note - A pro-domme usually doesn't make as much as one would guess (especially after operating costs, legal fees, advertising costs, and pre-screening lost time) and most of the money they do make is used to buy the expensive equipment, toys, clothes, etc. that the average FemDomme wouldn't be able to afford otherwise. Of the 200 pro-dommes I personally know - only 24 actually make a living doing this, the other 176 like expensive toys and fetwear and this is the only way they can afford them. Just a tidbit of information I thought you might find interesting.

Lady Kay

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Session with a Domme - 10/16/2005 3:23:25 PM   
submissivesilk


Posts: 154
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		i haven't said anything on this subject for a while. Thought i'd add an update.

Well there are no local clubs in my town that i can find. i'm about 100 miles plus from any larger city, and traveling that far is not something i can do all of the time.

If anyone knows of anything in Victoria Texas, please let me know, i would greatly appreciate it.

(in reply to MistressKay)
Profile   Post #: 20
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