Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want!

Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (Full Version)

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LadyAngelika -> Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 5:14:28 AM)
Pollux inspired me to ask this question. So here goes. This question is addressed to male subs more specifically but in collarme tradition, everyone is welcomed to chime in. I'm usually not so heterosexist and gender specific but there seems to be a disconnect between Dommes and male subs. More often the not, you hear about the expectations that Dommes have of male subs. Let's turn the tables now and see what kind of responses we get. What motivates you to be submissive? Why do you identify yourself that way? What are you searching for in a Domme? What are the qualities and attributes that you look for in a Domme? What is the hardest part of being a male sub? What kind of challenges do you face when attempting to approach a Domme? What are you biggest fears when meeting a Domme? What do you believe to be your best strengths and attributes? And do you feel they are often overlooked? Now talk boys!! ;-) - LA

imtempting -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:04:47 AM)
1. I enjoy pleasing females. 2. I identify myself as being submissive as I feel it would be wrong to claim to be a switch. Ive always enjoyed pleasing females and it comes from something in my past aswell. 3. Im searching for someone im attracted too physically aswell as emotionally. I need someone that can be humourous and enjoy a joke and not be in 24/7 domme mod. Someone that will happily display love and sweetness without expecting things in return. That will be into the same things im into weather it be Ds releated or non Ds releated. 4. Someone that is willing to understand that work life may interfere with personnal life. 5. Apart from the usual pain and stuff as obvious as that id say the time commitment as getting home from a hard days work and pleasing someone is fairly difficult on the body and mind especially around times of stress at work. 6. The challenges would be approaching someone that has had 1001 other guys trying to approach them and trying to impress them with an email that would of been sent by the 1001 people. 7. The biggest fear would be weather or not they like the way you look in real life or if they look the same in real life. As for safety ive met people from the net before so I know to meet at public spots. Also if they have a personallity away from the keyboard. 8. Well my young looks and my sweet, innocent smile that saves me alot of times. Im quick witted and normally im very tollarnt and I dont normally lose my temper ( Atm ive had some personnal, emotional draining events which has sadly spilled onto the boards ) Im down to earth and have a generous nature. Well thats about it for me and thats more then whats in my profile :O I might just send a link to this thread :D :D

lonewolf05 -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:36:10 AM)
LadyAngelika This question is addressed to male subs more specifically but in collarme tradition, everyone is welcomed to chime in. ====================================== ******understand that i am discussing only my submissive side and not my alpha vanilla side.... What motivates you to be submissive? *****my motivation comes from my gut, wanting to have someone in my life that i can please, to make them happy by pampering and spoiling them. wait on them hand and foot, bring them flowers and make their meals and keep things picked up and clean for them. someone that appreciates a nice guy. Why do you identify yourself that way? *******what? i always have. it is just me being me. its my inner core to please someone. What are you searching for in a Domme? *******the Mistress i now have is everything i always wanted. i have someone that apprecites me for being me and is not peeking into my wallet. someone that enjoys having me pamper and spoil and enjoys small gifts brought home for Her and keeping the house clean. someone that enjoys foot massages and back rubs and doesn't scream She needs space. What are the qualities and attributes that you look for in a Domme? ****warmth, understanding, attentiveness, listening, adult conversation about adult topics, a woman that knows how to make a man happy he is a man, soft hands and a soft heart. What is the hardest part of being a male sub? *****dividing my alpha side from submissive side. i have to step-outside-of-myself. i have to put one side of me on-hold for the other side to grow. What kind of challenges do you face when attempting to approach a Domme? *many females tend to be gun-shy around males, and i believe it is knee-jerk reactions due to our society, so it is difficult to get-past that wall. What are you biggest fears when meeting a Domme? *****fears? i have no fear of any female. i speak to everyone on this planet the same way,...adult to adult. if someone can't handle that, i don't want 'em in my life. What do you believe to be your best strengths and attributes? ***honesty, open-ness, caring, loyalty, commited, earnest, eager, (same two words? earnest n eager?), hungry for knowledge, protective, trustworthy,....hard working.... And do you feel they are often overlooked? ********yes---because people have to be treated like children and cannot handle MY truth and open brashness. people have to be handled with kid gloves coz something might upset their day if they have to face blatant bare cold hard facts. most so called adults are not adults. Now talk boys!! ;-) rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrWOOF! wolfie

slavedesires -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:44:31 AM)
removed per LA's request altho i cannot edit nor remove the response i am sorry for seeming to hyjack your thread Ms LA.. it was NOT my intentions. ~~shy

Nuke718 -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 9:12:47 AM)
OK, I'll have a go... What motivates you to be submissive? -The desire to care for a woman. To be a nice guy and not pushed aside. To have a partner thats as unvanilla as I am. Why do you identify yourself that way? -I don't I identify as a switch in the name of honesty. So sorry I know you were looking for subs. Of late, I only seem to be engaging my submissive side tho, probably because 80% or more of my experience has been on the opposit end of the whip. It would be easier to approach a Domme without admitting I am a switch. What are you searching for in a Domme? -Smart, sense of humor, honest in her interests and expectations. Somebody fairly confident in their role regardless of experience. What are the qualities and attributes that you look for in a Domme? - Firm, imaginative, sweet smile, dirty mind. I dunno, see the last answer... What is the hardest part of being a male sub? -It's hard to be distinct from alll the others. A few bad apples have given male subs a bad rep. So you have to work hard to stand out as something more than the rest. It's the role I see having to "sell" itself the most. What kind of challenges do you face when attempting to approach a Domme? -May not come accross here, but I am shy with new interests. So the normal fear of rejection applies. Then add that she may not be into something I said I was and not discuss alternatives. What are you biggest fears when meeting a Domme? -Not her physical type. Not knowing her personal ettiquite rules and offending. My play levels are much higher or lower than hers, cuz I'd hate for one of us to be disappointed. What do you believe to be your best strengths and attributes? And do you feel they are often overlooked? -Mentally my best aspects are loyalty and discretion. I don't kiss/play and tell specifics about any of my relationships. I don't think there is a best physical attribute I can think of at the moment. I don't think they are overlooked, but I don't know my past Dommes counted on them or not. Hope this helped LA, Nuke }:-

lonewolf05 -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 11:31:46 AM)
quote: there ya go! he just illustrated what I would catagorically say is the number ono disconnect, as well as all its sub catagories that is especially prevalent in bdsm... Basically taking a relationship, (supposedly by human nature a spiritual experience) and reducing it to inanimate material relationship in some fashion or manner or in any other of its numerous forms... I am not in the least bit religious but it does not take long before the soul dies in material relationships... =================================== =================================== ????????????????????? wolf

onceburned -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 11:35:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sillisub Have you ever noticed how many dommes post pics at 120 pounds and list themselves as 175? Well, no I haven't noticed that. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika What motivates you to be submissive? Like the others here, I too feel a need to please and take pleasure in being pleasing. quote: Why do you identify yourself that way? It is a shorthand way of explaining my perspective and what I am seeking in a relationship. quote: What are you searching for in a Domme? The first thing I look for is that she is local to me. If not, sadly there is little chance of a relationship beyond friendship. I look for a domme who will value my service and treat me with love. quote: What are the qualities and attributes that you look for in a Domme? She would have a kind heart - treating others with politeness and compassion. She would have an interest in current events and ideally in social justice. quote: What is the hardest part of being a male sub? Setting aside my own wishes and desires - choosing to fulfill her will, as opposed to my own. quote: What kind of challenges do you face when attempting to approach a Domme? The same challenges that people face in vanilla circumstances - how to establish rapport and to spark interest. quote: What are you biggest fears when meeting a Domme? If it were someone I hadn't met before, it would be concerns over whether she was honest in portraying herself to me. quote: What do you believe to be your best strengths and attributes? I am hard-working and easy-going: I look for how things can be better and take initiative to fix those problems. I don't get upset easily. quote: do you feel they are often overlooked? No, I am in vanilla life as I mentioned above. Most people see that.

Kasia -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 12:28:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sillisub Have you ever noticed how many dommes post pics at 120 pounds and list themselves as 175? you know up front you cannot trust them... Just relaxed to read something I thought was going to be one really good and informative thread and here goes about weight again. Cant you people leave those pounds alone for a sec? Actually my pic was taken on a cam some 2 moths ago, and believe me I didnt gain 25 kg since then. Sillisub, how about writing at least something in that profile of yours? Might get attention of some more positive females. Not to mention putting some pics so we others can speculate on your weight.

AAkasha -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 12:49:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kasia quote: ORIGINAL: sillisub Have you ever noticed how many dommes post pics at 120 pounds and list themselves as 175? you know up front you cannot trust them... Just relaxed to read something I thought was going to be one really good and informative thread and here goes about weight again. Cant you people leave those pounds alone for a sec? Actually my pic was taken on a cam some 2 moths ago, and believe me I didnt gain 25 kg since then. Sillisub, how about writing at least something in that profile of yours? Might get attention of some more positive females. Not to mention putting some pics so we others can speculate on your weight. Ironically it comes from a guy who is currently admitting in the "ask a mistress" forum that the profile he posts under is fake, and if he started a conversation with a femdom here he would use another identity and not tell them he did this. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=156773 Akasha

Kasia -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 1:18:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Ironically it comes from a guy who is currently admitting in the "ask a mistress" forum that the profile he posts under is fake, and if he started a conversation with a femdom here he would use another identity and not tell them he did this. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=156773 Akasha Actually I still didnt finish reading that thread completely so I havent noticed, but thank you for pointing. And he is daring to give us here lessons about trust and whatever..... [:'(]

JohnWarren -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 1:27:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kasia And he is daring to give us here lessons about trust and whatever..... [:'(] [laugh] There are many ways of teaching. Watching a fool throw rocks at a hornet's nest can be very educational.

subinvt -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 1:57:56 PM)
Alright, I’ll have a go at these questions too. When reading my answers keep in mind that I’m very new to the lifestyle. I’ve recently met an amazing Domme on this site that I’m lucky enough to have caught the eye of a few months ago. We’re meeting for the first time later this month :-)... What motivates you to be a submissive? Internet communities like collarme and informational websites were probably the biggest motivational forces for me. Personally, living in rural Vermont, I was never exposed to this sort of lifestyle till stumbling across it online, and from that point on I’ve been extremely intrigued. That combined with the fact that I recently ended a totally vanilla relationship (hopefully my last) after 5 years that was just not satisfying. Why do you identify yourself that way? As long as I can remember my most frequent, deepest, and darkest fantasies have been strongly femdom themed. I was too young to remember a specific catalyst that triggered these fantasies initially. Besides that, I think my personality is sort of geared to fit a submissive very well – I’ve always derived (seemingly) more pleasure than most going out of my way to make my significant-other happy/comfortable. What are you searching for in a Domme? Well, besides the obvious: Dominance, sense of humor, intelligence, etc….. Coming from a vanilla relationship, there are a lot of vanilla things I would really miss if they did not exist in a relationship I was in. While I do want to be subordinate and under her control 24/7, I also think a mutual (and normal) exchange of affection in private and public is a very important part of any relationship. Willingness to be discreet some common fetishes and lifestyle interests What is the hardest part of being a male sub? Well, this isn’t an original complaint, but it’s definitely the one thing I find most challenging: There’s just too darn many of us and too few Dommes What are your biggest fears when meeting a Domme? My biggest fears by far are personal insecurities... the obvious ones. Besides that, to be honest, I’m not all that worried. What do you believe to be your best strengths and attributes? And do you feel they are often overlooked? I’m very open-minded; I’m very comfortable and happy with the submissive role; I have a professional life and goals outside of the lifestyle; I’m in good physical and mental shape; generally an honest and moral guy. No - thankfully, I don't feel that these are overlooked.

slavedesires -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 3:23:14 PM)
sillisub...you have no fear someone will recognize you by your writing style? just wondering

Kasia -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 3:30:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavedesires sillisub...you have no fear someone will recognize you by your writing style? just wondering LOL Remainds me..... we were in a chatroom teasing some poor jerk and he got desperate and said "I will copy this and publish it in newspapers" and my husband said to that "Oh please dont do that, someone may recognize me by my handwriting". Almost smashed the laptop to the ground I was laughing that hard.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:04:59 PM)
quote: just another twist on LA's initial question. or should i start my own thread I encourage you to start your own thread, yes. - LA

LadyAngelika -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:11:00 PM)
I'd appreciate it if people could leave personal insults out and stick to the topic at hand. I find myself reading highly insightful posts and then having to deal with trivial stuff. If you don't like something, take it off this thread please. - LA

LadyAngelika -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:16:09 PM)
imtempting, sillisub, lonewolf05, Nuke718, onceburned, subinvt... thank you. You shared some stuff I've rarely read from any of you before and it was wonderful to gain insight and perspective. Though you may have mentioned some of these things before, it was probably more often then not on the defensive. It gives it a whole different light when you are saying it in this kind of a setting, don’t you think? Thank you so much Pollux for inspiring this idea. I really hope I get to read from other male submissives on this thread. If someone wishes to start a thread for female submissives, please go ahead, but I ask you not to highjack this one. And Ladies, please let these boys bare their souls without judgement. I’d like to hear what they have to say, honestly. Again, thank you. What a lovely read to come home to. - LA P.S.: Pollux, where is your contribution ;-) I'm waiting with baited breath!!

sillisub -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:38:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika imtempting, sillisub, lonewolf05, Nuke718, onceburned, subinvt... thank you. You shared some stuff I've rarely read from any of you before and it was wonderful to gain insight and perspective. Though you may have mentioned some of these things before, it was probably more often then not on the defensive. It gives it a whole different light when you are saying it in this kind of a setting, don’t you think? Thank you so much Pollux for inspiring this idea. I really hope I get to read from other male submissives on this thread. If someone wishes to start a thread for female submissives, please go ahead, but I ask you not to highjack this one. And Ladies, please let these boys bare their souls without judgement. I’d like to hear what they have to say, honestly. Again, thank you. What a lovely read to come home to. - LA P.S.: Pollux, where is your contribution ;-) I'm waiting with baited breath!! yes for both of us :)

slavedesires -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:40:32 PM)
LA..... i was curious is all about sillisub..... is that what you are referring to? my motive was pure and i have found the male sub perspectiveto be VERY enlighting in this thread. graciously ~~shy

LadyAngelika -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want! (9/1/2005 6:45:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavedesires i was curious is all about sillisub..... is that what you are referring to? my motive was pure I was referring to the back and forth, not one person in particular. I'm not trying to scold anyone, just trying to keep the thread on topic. quote: and i have found the male sub perspectiveto be VERY enlighting in this thread. Then fantastic! :-) - LA

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