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multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 2:52:37 PM   
snowandsub


Posts: 42
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline 		total newbie stupid question but i need some advice - i've done a few searches here to try and get some answers but i think either i'm not looking the right way or my question is losing me...

can a person be trained to have multiple orgasms ?  if so, how ?

I want to be able to but currently i am so uptight about making sure He is getting what he wants, i cant seem to relax, He is trying very hard but i seem to just get to the edge but not over... i feel a bit useless :( 

I would like to get to the point where it easy to orgasm as we'd like to try the whole orgasm on command deal, with a little forced orgasm play and some orgasm begging and such like...

currently I am only having an orgasm after deep penetrative sex, normally doggie style and feel that is limiting what we want to do. we both want to try new things and i feel like I am holding things up... if that makes any sense.

any advice, techniques or such like would be appreciated.

thanks

snowie.




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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 4:18:12 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Short of time to have you relax in your sexual escapades, it may require some intensive sessions to break your tension. It all depends on what effects you most but I had a similar issue when I was younger. Humiliation play of a very personal nature 'broke' me of the bad habit of focusing too much on the expectation. His expectation may be compounding the problem too. Pressure and stress to perform can make orgasm difficult to reach.
Finding a means to push you past personal awareness so you can't be worried or stressed is the best way to perform, would be my guess. If there's a personal self image issue or a fear of failure you have, you might need to talk it out before you try sexing it out.

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 4:19:19 PM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		~~fast reply~~
 
who are the orgasms for...your pleasure or for his
 
the post confuses me on who is dominant here.
 
Sir's inini

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 4:39:43 PM   
snowandsub


Posts: 42
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline 		ProlificNeeds - i suspect its a more of a mental issue for me. I want to do what he asks but its getting past that point of stressing over if i'm doing the right thing/proper thing and i dont want to let him down.

Sir's inini - He is the Dominant in our marraige, the orgasms are for me to have for my pleasure but he likes giving them. I feel like I have failed becuase i cannot orgasm easily for him.

He gets a kick out of me orgasming and He cares that i enjoys the experience. He believes we are in this journey together so He doesnt care for the standard protocol of what is expected from a Dom etc.

I think i have my answers which will require some work and some thought. thank you.


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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 5:09:36 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		The pressure of fearing failure, of not only succeeding but being good enough is hard, I sympathize. But over come that issue before you worry about multiple orgasms. They will come once you can learn to enjoy the pleasure he gives you.

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 5:42:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I was in Borders today and they had a book on achieving multiples. I looked on Amazon but can't seem to find the one I saw. However they have several different books on female multiple orgasm.

However I do know that many women don't seem to achieve this until they're older. Seems to be related to hormones.

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 6:22:46 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you're uptight.  Being uptight will certainly not allow you to relax enough to have an orgasm.    I can understand the "uptightness" if it's your first, second, or even third time with him or if you've not had a lot of experience (I don't mean that in a negative way), but if you've been with him any time at all, I would think you would be at ease.   

I'm curious though about the "deep penetrative" orgasm.  I think this would be harder to achieve if you can't orgasm easily any other way.  

Relax.   Unless he's telling you that you're not satisfying him, I don't see any reason for you to be uptight.   

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 6:26:45 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		As a woman who experiences multiples, I can tell you it is not so much about relaxing, although mentally you need to relaxed to a degree, but in all reality, you need to be focusing on whatever it is that triggers you to get off, be it a fantasy, visual, etc.

I don't know about deep, penetrative orgasms, mine are from good old fashioned oral sex!! Works every time. That and vibrators, no problemo.

But seriously, you cannot force something like that; you just have to recognize your own body signals.

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 6:32:50 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I agree sexyred1.   Great advice. 

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 7:14:04 PM   
snowandsub


Posts: 42
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline 		DesFIP - thank you - i have a book on the way - ordered this morning on someones advice :)

kallisto - i'll take "not a lot of experience" we've been together a long time but its been pretty vanilla on all counts - some of that was due to trying for baby and some of it being scared to explore this life even though i've had the urges for so long - i thought he'd think i was weird when he fact he thinks its a beautiful thing. so it is a learning curve for both of us.

sexyred1 - you always have the best advice. thank you. yes, this is a learning curve for us and we're working on it. on that note, He went ou ttoday  and bought a new vibrator for us to try so it is just a question and time and concentrating on the energy going on between us :)

Thanks everyone.


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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 7:38:14 PM   
salilus


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		Beyond relaxing, you might also try...different things.


For instance, I rarely have multiple clitoral orgasms... but I can have a dozen from penetration.

(in reply to snowandsub)
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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 8:32:29 PM   
KaramelGoddess


Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		Try doing a search on multiple orgasms in the forums.  There has been some great advice given over the months on this topic.
 
Kind Regards,
~Kara

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/26/2008 9:25:11 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		No such thing as a stupid newbie question if you honestly want to know and learn.  The others all had great advice.....research methods and techniques, relax, don't try so hard, have Master not try so hard, relax, have fun, have fun with each other, relax.   There is such a thing as trying too hard and making it seem more like work (and likely failure) than sex - which is supposed to be fun, hmmm?  Oh yes, one more thing..........relax.

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It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/27/2008 9:37:33 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The number one way to make it impossible to have an orgasm is to become anxious about having an orgasm.  The master needs to lay off the "goal" if he actually wants to get there.

There are some women who develop the ability, some women who do it naturally, some women who never get there.  And I'm afraid there's no simple or direct one-way ticket for any particular woman.

But again, making it a goal and raising anxiety about not reaching it is pretty much the best way you can prevent yourself from getting there.

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/27/2008 10:40:09 AM   
snowandsub


Posts: 42
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline 		salilus – thanks for personal experience.  (love your avatar btw)  

KaramelGoddess – I did do several searches but they didn’t really answer my question on if you could train yourself (or others) to have multiple orgasms. This forums is full of great  information but I think this time, while I liked reading about people’s personal experiences and how they can have them, my question was a bit too specific and I couldn’t find a direct answer.  

littlebitxxx & LuckyAlbatross – thank you for your words – I think that’s where we are at – focusing too hard on 1 thing so we’re off to try other things and see what happens. I think trying to hard where the only option is success is a huge stumbling block for me on anything. Have to work on that.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. This is all pretty new to us so the learning curve is tough becuase we want to have it all. must learn patience :)

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/27/2008 2:18:03 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		For me, if I "come down" all the way after the first one, it takes a lot longer to get to the second one.  But if I get ramped up again part way thru the come down, or don't stop at all and just push thru, they start coming in waves that get faster and closer together until that last one hits that is practically paralyzing.  Then I'm done.  Well, okay, I say I'm done, but a talented partner can usually wring one more out of me.   But sshhhh, don't tell anybody.

Cali


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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/27/2008 3:22:03 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

For me, if I "come down" all the way after the first one, it takes a lot longer to get to the second one.  But if I get ramped up again part way thru the come down, or don't stop at all and just push thru, they start coming in waves that get faster and closer together until that last one hits that is practically paralyzing.  Then I'm done.  Well, okay, I say I'm done, but a talented partner can usually wring one more out of me.   But sshhhh, don't tell anybody.

Cali



Agreed.  I think that one phrase goes a long way toward multiples, or even any satisfying orgasm.  All the trying in the world ain't gonna help unless.....................

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: multiple orgasm advice please - 1/28/2008 11:22:43 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Have you tried fisting?
 
I couldn`t help it =L=
 
Relax, it will happen, when I was younger I was amazed how many women had never even experienced an orgasm....
 
Breath...enjoy.
 
 

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Profile   Post #: 18
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