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Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 6:07:57 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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OK - so this is a questioning rant...

To cut a long story short, having been messaged by a person who is listed as a Dominant, who obviously hadn't fully read my profile after I had to explain I was married - the question of my photograph popped up.

Now, I do not take great stock in images, as words are much more my 'thing' - but I find it intriguing that people would like to 'see' the image - in what - an hour of becoming aquainted - let alone a cam to cam.

OK - so this might have been the obvious - but it led me to think - how many people here value the image above the writing? Cam aside - do you believe all that you see - or is that which is written a much more informative medium to comprehending that to whom you have 'met'? And does being a BDSM site make a difference?

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

Post #: 1

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 6:36:05 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

You're asking pretty much exactly the same thing as this:

Pictures in profiles...does a slave care?

Look, in real life do we go around with bags on our head and reveal them only after we've gotten to know them a bit? No.

However, this IS cyber culture and if you want someone to give you something they haven't freely put on display, there's at least SOME finagling and social graces to attend to. Although I must say, if you've been actively chatting with someone for an hour online, what's stopping you from sharing a pic? That's probably a lot longer than you spend most time chatting with people who see your face BEFORE they ever say hello.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 2

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 6:46:54 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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Thanks for the link Em - but it really didnt answer my questions as I was thinking about it.

This was - what do you gain more from - the image, or the written/what is said.

Someone mentioned that a picture was vital for trust on that other post, and I just dont understand how a simple photograph does that.

As for the bag scenario - I am sure for some people, its a thing

I totally understand the cyber culture comment - and yes people see the person first, before speaking on I am sure - 99% of cases - but thats not my question. Its the importance of visual Vs. Words. Why do some people feel that its the visual that gains the trust, and not the actions or visa versa?

Just for further info BTW - it wasnt a 'chat' that took place for an hour - just a couple of emails which an hour after the first - the mention of photos came up. Geez, if I had time to spend a solid hour online I would worry for my sanity - and I know Demon would be majorly p****ed...

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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Post #: 3

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 7:01:41 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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It really depends. A person can have an awesome profile but the lack of a pic or a really sucky pic could totally change my mind- and vice versa. There's no one way.

I'd say what makes a difference is time and connection- both can surpass both writing and pictures.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 4

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 7:15:57 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
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Some research shows that men are aroused by visual stimuli whereas and women are aroused by the written word. Perhaps this is also true about profiles?

< Message edited by Elegant -- 9/1/2005 7:16:23 PM >

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 5

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 7:16:07 PM

butterflydame

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

I certainly don't value image over writing. The person themselves is what I take more interest in.

I would rather have a thousand words than one tiny picture.

Of course... it is always nice to have a face to put with the person you are talking to.

< Message edited by butterflydame -- 9/1/2005 9:23:22 PM >

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Post #: 6

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 8:05:21 PM

Ceyx

Posts: 89
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline

I find that I can usually learn more about a person from the way in which they express themselves in words-- even if they haven't said a great deal-- than I can from even a very good or candid picture. Physical appearance isn't unimportant, of course, but for most purposes I'm more interested in a person's character, imagination, and expressiveness. It's easier for me to pick out those things from someone's writing, and more rewarding for me as well.

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Post #: 7

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 8:40:13 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

I will always prefer the written word over a picture if I have to choose one or the other.

I think the way a person writes and what they say can tell you a whole lot more about them than any one picture. My first impression of someone online is formed by how well they can communicate. If you spend some time reading in the various threads you'll notice that there are a number of people who can't seem to do this very well. For whatever reason, they just don't spell, punctuate or make sentences and that does affect the way I think of them.

A perfect example of the exact opposite would be Iron Bear. I have never seen a picture or even a drawing of him but I think of him as intelligent, articulate and competant. The same thing would apply to EmeraldSlave2 even though I have seen a couple of pictures of her. My impression of those two very different people is based on the way they write and how they express themselves. Is a picture important? Well, I guess it would be if I was going to try to meet them at an airport or something, but here online I'm a lot more interested in what they say.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

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Post #: 8

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 8:42:43 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Words are better then a picture but a picture especially a non professional one lends "truth" to a person. Shows them as being perhaps a little less fake.
(unless the photo is of someone else or a professional pose then i tend to not even bother with them again)

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

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Post #: 9

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 8:44:48 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

As of late, my new avatar says all I have to say about pictures.

There are clearly people on this site (and probably any site) that will use your picture for their own purpose, or even for some sort of revenge motive ... or who really knows why.

I was warned, but didn't listen. (shocker) The best thing perhaps is to tell someone no, until such time as you feel comfortable with them. Worse still for me, I managed to foolishly give out my whole name to a few people I probably don't know well enough. I guess I figured the pizza guy knows, and is probably a bigger risk ... but I do feel sort of foolish at this point.

By the way angel ... your posts are so good ... what you have to say should be good enough for anyone.

(in reply to Ceyx)

Post #: 10

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 8:53:38 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

OK - so this is a questioning rant...

To cut a long story short, having been messaged by a person who is listed as a Dominant, who obviously hadn't fully read my profile after I had to explain I was married - the question of my photograph popped up.

Now, I do not take great stock in images, as words are much more my 'thing' - but I find it intriguing that people would like to 'see' the image - in what - an hour of becoming aquainted - let alone a cam to cam.

OK - so this might have been the obvious - but it led me to think - how many people here value the image above the writing? Cam aside - do you believe all that you see - or is that which is written a much more informative medium to comprehending that to whom you have 'met'? And does being a BDSM site make a difference?

Peace and Love

I enjoy the exchange of ideas, the "taste" of who she is from how she expresses herself. On the whole, while I like a pretty face as much as the next guy, I need the mental stimulus of another thinking individual.
Having said all that, within a few hours of conversation online, I would like to hear a voice. Within a week, I would like to see some visual evidence that she has represented herself with some degree of accuracy. I think a cam does that very efficiently.
OTOH, if it's simply someone with whom I'm chatting, with no possibility of developing beyond friendship, then it simply doesn't matter if I ever see her. It's fun to match a face with an online personality sometimes but it isn't necessary, for me, in a platonic friendship.
Timothy

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 11

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 9:35:18 PM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

It's about the words... no scratch that... It's about the thoughts. When I meet someone online, how they express themselves as well as what they are trying to express is where I see value. While I prefer eloquence and grammar, I will muster the patience if the thought itself has merit.

I only need to see a picture if the discussion becomes about something physical. By that, I mean clothing, physical stature in the realm of social interaction, or they want an opinion on what clothes would look good with their haircolor. (Or, in my case in particular, whether they should costume as a white tiger, or a cheetah kitten.)

If I'm going to meet them, I should have an idea of who/what to look for. If I'm not going to ever meet them offline, it's handy to see a photo after I've talked to them for a while, but never is it necessary. I do have vague physical guidelines of who I would pursue a relationship with, but they are very broad and generally only exclude those with serious health issues.

Just about everyone can smile, and all smiles are beautiful. Brains and hearts are what draw me to a person. Pictures are just for identifying people in a crowd.

Purr

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 12

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 9:37:06 PM

KCMOLucky

Posts: 121
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Kansas City, Missouri
Status: offline

I'll always value the written word to any photograph. A young man that I've been talking to had no picture on his profile, and I hadn't asked for one. He's incredibly intelligent, very passionate about his work, and is compassionate to almost a fault, sometimes. Plus, he's very diligent in the acts of pursual.

We'd been talking for about a week, and when I say a week, I mean we'd email each other back and forth all day, close to 15 times a day. It seemed like a month later, and I finally asked to see his picture, and only because he's SO tall (6 ft 7inches), and I'd never met anyone that tall before...lol.

Anyways, My point is that one day, I'd love for him to be mine. He's not in a position right now to say yes or no (He's with the American Red Cross, and is helping the disaster relief right now), but I got to know him as a person, not as an image with certain attributes.

Yeah, to an extent a picture might make someone more real. But who's to say that image they hand you isn't fake? You learn a lot more about a person by their habits, their loves, their dislikes.... I could go on and on.

_____________________________

I don't have PMS, I just disagree with you.

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Post #: 13

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 9:50:56 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

Interesting question. When I started out online I was more interested in chatrooms than I was in message boards and spent quite a lot of time chatting with others. During that time I got to know some people and their personalities began to take shape in my mind through what they wrote. As I got to know these people better we eventually exchanged pictures so we could put a face with the text. I was more surprised at how I envisioned the people to be than I was at how they looked. In fact, one person that I thought was a guy turned out to be a woman.

The beauty of the Internet for me is that it brings a myriad of people together from all races, religions and ethnic backgrounds and through the medium of text allows our visual prejudices to not be a factor in how we view that person. It is based on what they say rather than how they look that we can form our opinions of them.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 14

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 11:15:40 PM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline

At times a photo cna be a way of expressing your self as well in being unable to in yor town or city due to your work or standing in either so if a photo is dispalyed with a profile then others form that area who also are intrested in the same life style or recreation will see that they ar'nt alone and maybe shy to begin with intorductions but feel that atleast there are others who if they wish are there to talk to at some stage even if only to say hello and that is all

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 15

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 11:43:26 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

how many people here value the image above the writing?

I value both.
If I were looking for friendships, in which case I would never think sex, than it wouldn't matter at all what the person looked like; but since it is what it is, I care about both. Comparatively speaking, I value what is written more, because no matter how good a person looks if the attitude or ability to express self is absent, than we probably would never connect.

quote:

And does being a BDSM site make a difference

Yes, for me BDSM is very much about the sensual/sexual, so yes it definitely matters for the same reasons listed above.
Hope I answered clearly, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 16

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/1/2005 11:50:00 PM

ragdoll

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline

My answer seems to differ from everyone elses.

i think it's obvious, as everyone has thus far said that you can learn more about a person through their words than their picture. No picture will tell you a persons greatest fear, or describe for you why it's their greatest fear... no picture will tell you someone's favourite childhood memory, and explain why it's their favourite... no picture will tell you what the person believes, in a detailed fashion, or what is the way they want to live their life... no picture can clearly express a lot of things that written word and discussion can. If pictures could do this than adult textbooks would be picture books with no words like the books you can buy for very young children. You know...?

That said. Words are limiting. Words can be LIES.
Words can deceive. Words can be false.

A person can write with "pretend passion" about a whole host of things. i'm sure anyone who's been online "chatting" or on message boards for longer than 6 months has encountered at least one "typed out liar" (who they didn't realise was a liar the very first time they spoke/typed to the person). So though words can tell you a lot about someone, they can only do that if the words are true. ...

Pictures help validate things online.
When i say that i have a Shih Tzu puppy... and then have a picture of myself without the puppy and with the puppy... it sort of validates that "yes" when she talks about her pets she really has them. She's not making it up. When i talk about having a huge stuffed animal collection... and i have pictures of each one sitting on my bed... one at a time... or together... it validates the fact that "yes" when she talks about things she collects she is telling the truth. If i talk about having a small veggie garden and share some photographs of that... it further validates that who i say i am and what i say i like... It helps further show that my words are a representation of the "truth of me".

When i see someone's picture of themself on a mountain.. it verifies for me that yes this person actually really is interested in outdoors.... when someone tells me about their vacation to Disney World and they share a photo from their trip its a validation of what they've said.

i don't ask people for pictures, but when people are willing to openly share (non-pornographic) photographs of themself... their hobbies... things they collect.. or a neat bird they spotted at the park... it helps me to trust that the words they say are true.

As an example. i used to have a few porcelain dolls. As an adult, online, i met another woman who "claimed" she was interested in them too. In fact, she said she had some really pretty ones... and well, since her and i had already exchanged photographs... i asked her if she could take a picture of her dolls so i could see them (because i was really curious about them). At the time i really believed she'd do it.. well she made excuse after excuse of why she couldn't get pictures of them... then finally she confessed she had no dolls. Big deal, right? But it was.... it made me wonder if other things she said were lies too.....? If other WORDS she wrote might have been lies.......

See..... words written and spoken absolutely tell you the most about another person... but... "seeing pictures" online... and "seeing someone's house" or "whatever" in real life helps validate the words someone says or types... you know?

They're both important to me. It's not even the looks of a person.. in fact.. i'm happy to see photographs of someone's favourite armchair in their house.. a photo of the battered welcome mat at their front door.. a photo of the the broken step on their porch...... -anything- to show they are a real person... in some way... ~

You know...?
i guess you could say i don't trust "words alone" anymore..........

< Message edited by ragdoll -- 9/1/2005 11:57:49 PM >

(in reply to MissDiandSirHugh)

Post #: 17

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 12:08:56 AM

Raphael

Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline

Words, definately.

Sure, it's nice to have a face to attach to them, and if I were looking I'd want to see a picture before I got too attached, but it's really not that important. The world is just full of pretty girls. Unfortunately, first rate minds are quite a bit rarer.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 18

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 12:48:36 AM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

i have to agree with you dark~angel, i get emails from Doms showing an interest, when my profile
clearly states: "i am an owned slave here to meet other slaves and new friends" period.
it's disturbing to me the total lack of respect and good manners it takes on ones part not to
respect what is being said in these instances, i personally find it a disrespect to my Master.
(disrespect Master does not go over well at all with this girl, i hate that kind of mentality)
it seems the case that after a polite response saying thanks but i am an owned slave , i'll
get another email from them still in pursuit asking personal questions and such.
most times i'd hit the delete key but sometimes i'd go to to my evil sarcastic place and
reply telling them of their ignorance... i realize this is not good form on my part but sure
felt good showing them of their disrespect and such. ...is that wrong ??
Oh, my screen name should be a clue to most of my staus, or so i thought lol
is it just me here or is that a common experience i wonder.
thanks for allowing me to go on here. =)

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

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Post #: 19

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 5:43:00 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

OK - so this might have been the obvious - but it led me to think - how many people here value the image above the writing? Cam aside - do you believe all that you see - or is that which is written a much more informative medium to comprehending that to whom you have 'met'? And does being a BDSM site make a difference?

I don't think it's that cut and dry...and I think alot depends on what your goal of talking is.

If it's *just* conversation and nothing more, then a pic isn't necessary in my opinion.

If you are talking with an idea towards finding out if this is someone you might meet (and it is reasonable to expect that), then sooner rather than later, sharing a vanilla pic after a good conversation or two is in order. I say "vanilla" because if your first pic to me is a genital shot? You're gone. Some level of physical attraction is necessary....it can also help to back of up some of the information given in conversation (i.e. age, gender, etc)

Yes....people can lie...send out pics that aren't theirs...but that's the gamble with using online to meet people.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 20

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