Dominance and Chauvinism (Full Version)

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BigEyes -> Dominance and Chauvinism (9/1/2005 7:48:16 PM)

Has anyone had a problem with a Dom who was/is basically a chauvinist? I've had a few vanilla relationships with that problem, and they soon ended. Does it spill into BDSM? Where does a Dominant male end and some chauvinist attributes start?

Big Eyes



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/1/2005 9:06:42 PM)

Chauvinism, to some extent, is very much supported and celebrated in bdsm and Ds.

The thing to remember is that doms are just people, some are assholes, some are awesome. Dominant doesnt mean good person, or bad person, it means a dominant.

For me, I accept a persons chauvinism if it comes from good intentions and does not interfere with my sense of self or possible future expectations.



Dracironsgirl -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/2/2005 1:29:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Chauvinism, to some extent, is very much supported and celebrated in bdsm and Ds.

The thing to remember is that doms are just people, some are assholes, some are awesome. Dominant doesnt mean good person, or bad person, it means a dominant.

For me, I accept a persons chauvinism if it comes from good intentions and does not interfere with my sense of self or possible future expectations.


that was perfectly said EmeraldSlave2, may i have permission please to quote this from you please ?
this girl knows a few people who'd beniefit by hearing this. ...thank you for that.



ragdoll -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/2/2005 1:38:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BigEyes

Has anyone had a problem with a Dom who was/is basically a chauvinist? I've had a few vanilla relationships with that problem, and they soon ended. Does it spill into BDSM? Where does a Dominant male end and some chauvinist attributes start?

Big Eyes


i think it's perfectly fine for someone to express chauvinist views within their relationship only (if a Master or Mistress wants to believe they are "better than" their submissive or slave that's perfectly fine with me)... ~ However.. people expressing a sort of global chauvinism, to me, is a big turn off.

Example. i've spoken with "dominant" men who believe they are superior to ALL women... that they are better than and above every woman on the planet. They believe they are above dominant women... and don't believe any woman is on par with them.

A man like that is immediately of no interest to me.
Likewise... a woman who thought she were "above" all men... would also be a turn off to me. ~blech.

But that's just me. ~ and.. to more precisely answer your question: Yes.
Yes i have noticed that chauvinism spills over into the BDSM community.

It's possible that, as EmeraldSlave2 said, that chauvinism is "celebrated" in the BDSM community. Maybe it is. ~ but i know i don't celebrate chauvinism on any personal level. ~~ i wouldn't want to be part of any real life group or community where anyone was "encouraged" to believe they were above people they didn't even know. Including anywhere where submissives were treated as "less than" and "below" strangers merely because these strangers called themselfs "dominant".................. but again, that's just me.

Edit: though maybe i'm thinking of the word chauvinist too rigidly..... *herm - thinkin'*



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/2/2005 6:37:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl
that was perfectly said EmeraldSlave2, may i have permission please to quote this from you please ?
this girl knows a few people who'd beniefit by hearing this. ...thank you for that.

Hey glad you liked, just make sure EmeraldSlave2 is attached with it.



Dracironsgirl -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/2/2005 7:00:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl
that was perfectly said EmeraldSlave2, may i have permission please to quote this from you please ?
this girl knows a few people who'd beniefit by hearing this. ...thank you for that.

Hey glad you liked, just make sure EmeraldSlave2 is attached with it.


this girl knows to attach your name ...i include my respects to the person allowing me permission to quote them, this girl always has author of said
attached. ...this girl knows to give Respects. thanks again =)



ItzKat -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/2/2005 9:44:51 AM)

There is a big difference between a dominant male and a man that feels women are inferior. Very early on, I mistook the two. I had a couple of relationships with men that I felt were dominant, but were just asses.

After I got involved in the local groups, I soon found the difference. I soon found men that were fabulous and treated me with great respect... all the while wanting to do mean and evil things with me. There is quite a difference.

To me a truely dominant male is one who is so secure in who and what he is that he doesn't need to belittle or abuse those around him to make himself feel better about himself. To me, both dom and sub start on equal ground, just in different roles and then go a great ride together.

Of course, there are penty of men both online and in the local scenes that just don't respect women and really are chauvinistic, but they make themselves obvious and can be avoided.



WickedKev -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/2/2005 6:49:43 PM)

Having been around an awfully long time I can't say I find Dominance and chauvinism go hand in hand. Most of the Doms/Dommes I know do not think about the gender just wether one is Dominant or submissive. I treat both Doms and Dommes wth the same basic respect I expect back in return. Once I get to know them that may alter the amount of respect I have, but then the same goes with submissives/slaves.



SionedMorgan -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 1:03:29 AM)

I must agree with ItzKat. Dominance is based on Respect of another person even while exerting a supreme control over them.

Chauvinism to me is nothing more than a person who is so deeply afraid of their inferiority they develop a superiority complex. Then they proceed to bully all those around them that they have decided caused their feelings of being less than they are in the first place. i.e. Male chauvinists towards women.

There is nothing inherently wrong in Dominance as it points towards a person who is self assured and confident and has a great care for the thoughts, emotions, and feelings of those around them. There is a great deal wrong with chauvinism as it points towards a person that is inherently flawed in an incorrectable manner. This flaw is evident in the belittling, disrespectful, and ofttimes abusive attitude that is displayed towards everyone in their prejudicial category.



fastlane -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 11:13:10 AM)

E.S., if it's not copyrighted anyone can use it...You know that!

Hon, if you don't like chauvinistic males, why the hell are you into BDSM?
Don't you know that Domination, by a mle, over a submissive female, is one of total control.
Now, open the fucking car door for me, pull my seat out for me, wrap my cape around my shoulders and Shut up!



nella -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 11:27:56 AM)

For me i dont realy care if a person is chuvenistic or not as long as they dont bother me, if they however try to get me to not do the things i want becouse i am a girl, then we ahve a problem. i see no problem in the oldfasipnd men that might want to pull out the chair for a lady or protect a woman they are whit.

i remember this muslim boy i used to play Nintendo whit when a little girl, when we walked along the road to get to my house to play, he always wanted me to walk farthest from the road whit him closest to the cars so that if there was an acident the car would hit him and not me, becouse sinse he was male, and i was a girl, he was resposible for my safety and it would hurt his honor if somthing bad happend to me, i think it was sweet.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 3:25:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
E.S., if it's not copyrighted anyone can use it...You know that!

But all work is copyrighted automatically, if you wrote it, it's your work. It's even illegal to take someones personal emails that they have sent you and re-use them for yourself without permission from the author.

Unless it's a work for hire and then it's a special case.



BigEyes -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 4:50:37 PM)

Thank you to everyone for your replies! I have to admit I was rather tentative about this thread because I didn't want to make some massive faux pas and everyone turn on me, but I am relieved that it seems most feel the way I did and still do. I suppose I've just had bad luck!

I'm not going to, but from what everyone's been saying do you think I'd get the same sort of answers if this was posed to the Master board?

Big Eyes



fastlane -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 4:55:18 PM)

E.S..B.S.
nothing is yours, unless you go to the Library of Cogress and pay for it to be yours!
It's a nice thought though?
All my work is protected and anything I say here...can be used against me...LOL


www.kcpoemsandbaseball.com



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 5:10:01 PM)

Le sigh, you'd think I'd never studied and had cause to do research on copyright laws before?

Check these pages out and then get back to me on my "BS"

10 Big Myths About Copyright Explained

Or

Top 10 Urban Copyright Myths

which specifically states:
8. To obtain a copyright on a work, you must register the work with the United States Copyright Office.

Negative. 17 U.S.C. ยง 201(a). The way in which copyright protection is secured is frequently misunderstood. Copyright protection arises automatically when a work is created. A work is "created" when it is fixed in a copy or phonorecord for the first time. No publication or registration or other action in the Copyright Office is required to secure the copyright. There are, however, certain definite advantages to registration. See "Copyright Registration."

You might want to rethink the next time you call something I say as BS, considering it's something as factual and easily researched as copyright laws and with someone who LIKES to dress as a schoolteacher.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

E.S..B.S.
nothing is yours, unless you go to the Library of Cogress and pay for it to be yours!
It's a nice thought though?
All my work is protected and anything I say here...can be used against me...LOL


www.kcpoemsandbaseball.com




darkinshadows -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 5:16:16 PM)

Fastlane, I would just say that you may find your posts pulled by Mods because what you have just kind of said is fringing on upholding illegal activity.

All things are copyrighted the moment they are written. Copyright notice is not required.
Postings to the net are not granted to the public domain.
Copyright is not lost because you don't defend it.
Fan fiction, art, or music and other work derived from copyrighted works is a copyright violation.
Posting E-mail is technically illegal and a violation of copyright law, but posting facts from E-mail you have received isn't.
I fyou use something on your site or on any site that is not yours, coppyright is still violated whether you charged money or not. You can't use the excuse that its a form of 'free advertising'.

The total crunch is that the current law doesn't do much to protect works with no commercial value.

Peace and Love


my editing sux today...lol



JohnWarren -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 5:16:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

E.S..B.S.
nothing is yours, unless you go to the Library of Cogress and pay for it to be yours!



Sorry, but material is copyrighted from inception. Registration is only needed when you decide to sue. (See violation, register work, sue)

As an author and as someone who taught first amendment law on the graduate level, I'm a bit familiar with the rules.



ModeratorEleven -> RE: Dominance and Chauvinism (9/4/2005 5:30:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

E.S..B.S.
nothing is yours, unless you go to the Library of Cogress and pay for it to be yours!

That's simply not true.

You might want to read this section of the US Government Copyright FAQ. Pay particular attention to the 4th question.

XI



SionedMorgan -> RE: Back to the original discussion.... (9/5/2005 1:50:03 AM)

quote:

Original: fastlane

Hon, if you don't like chauvinistic males, why the hell are you into BDSM?
Don't you know that Domination, by a mle, over a submissive female, is one of total control.
Now, open the fucking car door for me, pull my seat out for me, wrap my cape around my shoulders and Shut up!


I must say that if ANY male or female including my Master spoke to me that way (unless I was already being disciplined or in trouble) they would be met with total absolute DEFIANCE! There is such a thing as respect. An animal (even a human one) does not respond well to constant anger and disrespect. Certainly a raised voice and rudeness may be tolerated by some as the norm, but not by me.



nella -> RE: Back to the original discussion.... (9/5/2005 4:35:19 AM)

He must have been joking SionedMorgan, at least his words seam so.



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