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Talking and Meeting - 1/27/2008 10:14:04 PM

sublove037

Posts: 5
Status: offline

i was just wondering what are the best and safest ways are to meet a Domme off of this site to pursue a D/s relationship. please respond, thank you

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RE: Talking and Meeting - 1/27/2008 10:21:40 PM

LadyLolly

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

Meet in public at first. If and when you take it private, set up safe calls and/or make sure there is a trail to where you went so authorities can find the body.......... Just kidding - sort of.

(in reply to sublove037)

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RE: Talking and Meeting - 1/28/2008 2:02:38 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublove037

i was just wondering what are the best and safest ways are to meet a Domme off of this site to pursue a D/s relationship. please respond, thank you

The safest way is to meet Her, after you had long enough contact, seen pics, talked to Her on the phone, which gives you a good feeling.
Tell someone you're going to meet someone, and make an deal that you'll call this friend after 10 minits when you meet this person, if that person doesn't hear you, then he/she knows something is wrong, and can come to check on you, so give the details, in advance, where you're meeting.

B safe

GoddezzT`

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RE: Talking and Meeting - 1/28/2008 2:35:05 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Well, the lady will have her own fixed ideas what she wants, so pay attention and do as she asks (with some safety caveats)

For me (and only me):

I am a fan of meeting first for coffee and if you like eachother, going on your first date to a BDSM event, workshop or club in your neighbourhood. Use the night to talk a lot and learn a bit. Drive there separately if you can, so either can leave freely if you wish.

That gives you a chance to do something together that you enjoy in common, without all the pressure of being alone with a virtual stranger.

There's no need (or expectation) to play in public, unless she gets in the mood. If so, do some rapid negotiation, get a safe word happening and (discreetly!) make sure there are dungeon monitors on duty that night. Or just say no.....do whatever feels right for you.

If you survive both dates and still like eachother, ask her out for lunch or dinner or to do something else together she might enjoy (a gallery opening? horror movie? joy flight in your aeroplane?). Prove you want to spend time with her because she seems such a great catch, not because you want free BDSM.

Unless you are completely irresistable, don't expect to be invited to play one-on-one in her private dungeon for at least three dates. Let her get to know and like you first.

Safety tips: some females are the "bait" and have male accomplices that will rob/rape/worse you. If she insists on luring you to a private address or hotel and you hardly know her, be very, very careful.

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 1/28/2008 2:37:58 AM >

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RE: Talking and Meeting - 1/28/2008 5:06:00 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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When there was an active local community, I always wanted my first meeting to be at a munch or a workshop. That did two things.

First, I can see how the potential interacts with others. I believe that tells a lot about a person.

Second, I'm a published author, book reviewers and when there's a community an activist. I'm out. Not being able to meet with me at a public kink event very likely equals unable to really be with me. Anyone with me will be out to some degree.

My general advice is to never ever meet privately with someone for your first or even second face-to-face meeting. Always let someone know where you will be and make a safe call to check. If the potential doesn't like either of those, I'd strongly suspect that they aren't a safe person to be with or they are stupid person because the protections go both ways.

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