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RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 4:46:32 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Do you attend a public or private college?

A small, private college.

_____________________________

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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Post #: 21

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 4:51:30 PM

defiantbadgirl

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Same here. Sounds like your college is geared toward nontraditional college students and mine discriminates against them. Let me ask you this......as a younger college student, if you and others with the same major hung out together, how would you feel about a 34 year old following you around expecting to be included in your group? How many of the older students at your college hang out with the younger ones? I'm not looking to make an ass of myself.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 1/28/2008 4:58:47 PM >

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Post #: 22

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:07:02 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

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I'm also a non-traditional student, going to a college where there is not a lot of diversity in the student body.   Quite honestly, other than doing some tutoring and working on joint projects, I don't socialize much with the students other than some of the other honors students. I do socialize well with faculty and staff though.

I'm also an honors student with high grades; I'm frequently the only person in class answering questions and conversing with the professor because I came to class prepared, and yes, I will spend some time tutoring other students as long as they understand I'm not going to re-teach them what they missed while they were slacking.

No matter what one's age - I think you have to learn to work the system, and be an advocate for yourself in college.   I have frequent discussions with the "powers that be" regarding the issues surrounding being an older student.   I've acheived a lot more than I originally thought I would when I first started back at college.

The bottom line is that I'm there to get a degree, not to attend keggers or organize socials.

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:13:25 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I'm there to get a degree as well. The problem is, I have been told if I don't start hanging out with young students, I may not get approved for the social work program. Like you, my grades are high so that's not a problem. Whether or not I'm given an opportunity to get that degree is based on fitting in with 18-21 year olds.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

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Post #: 24

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:17:47 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

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When you discuss this issue with your professors and your department head, regarding the fact that you feel pressured to "fake friendship" with others who are basically just acquaintences, what is their response?

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Post #: 25

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:20:01 PM

popeye1250

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Social work can't be outsourced and there is a high demand for social workers because of outsourcing. That's why I chose the field. I want to assist Americans who have lost their jobs.

Defiant, but those people don't need social workers, they need good paying jobs!
What about being an advocate for getting us out of these so-called "free trade deals" that are really "outsourcing" deals disguised as "free trade?"
It's like if someone lost a $1,200 per week job but they can "qualify" for $125 per month in food stamps, how's that going to be "helping" them?
These things happen because of corruption and bad decisions in Washington.

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RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:22:27 PM

slaveboyforyou

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quote:

I'm there to get a degree as well. The problem is, I have been told if I don't start hanging out with young students, I may not get approved for the social work program.

You are in social work, and there aren't older students? That's odd. I knew a lot of social work students from my criminal justice classes. A lot of them were older people working in law enforcement and corrections. I didn't have any problem meeting people my own age in college when I went back. We all studied together in the library twice a week. I will grant you that we were a small bunch, but we did better on tests than all the kids.

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Post #: 27

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:29:15 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Same here. Sounds like your college is geared toward nontraditional college students and mine discriminates against them. Let me ask you this......as a younger college student, if you and others with the same major hung out together, how would you feel about a 34 year old following you around expecting to be included in your group? How many of the older students at your college hang out with the younger ones? I'm not looking to make an ass of myself.

I'd consider it normal, honestly. The social group I belong to mostly belongs to a particular club and has a shared common interest that also appeals to a lot of people in your age range and higher. I dunno if you'd be included automatically - like anyone else you'd have to show that you are a fun person to hang out with, are interesting and have some common interests. If you were at my school and had an interest in archery, I'd encourage you to go hang out with the archery club, etc.

See if anyone in your classes raises a point that interests you and ask if you can talk to them more about it. For younger college students, just out of high school and away from their parents, simply being treated as a thinking adult by other adults is a wonderful feeling.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 28

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:29:27 PM

defiantbadgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

When you discuss this issue with your professors and your department head, regarding the fact that you feel pressured to "fake friendship" with others who are basically just acquaintences, what is their response?

I have discussed it with my professors and the department head. As a matter of fact, one of my professors is the department head (there are only two total, it's a small school). They are the ones telling me I have social problems because I don't hang out with the young students. I have tried to explain how I feel but it does no good. Although they are even older than me, I'm guessing they were both traditional students when they attended college. I was told I did better academically than many of the traditional students in their classes, but that they base their decision more on social skills than on grades. My social skills are fine. I have plenty of friends, they just aren't 18-21 years old. I was told they can only go by what they see at the school. That's why I put the word discrimination in the title of this thread.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 1/28/2008 5:33:14 PM >

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

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Post #: 29

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:44:12 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

When you discuss this issue with your professors and your department head, regarding the fact that you feel pressured to "fake friendship" with others who are basically just acquaintences, what is their response?

I have discussed it with my professors and the department head. As a matter of fact, one of my professors is the department head (there are only two total, it's a small school). They are the ones telling me I have social problems because I don't hang out with the young students. I have tried to explain how I feel but it does no good. Although they are even older than me, I'm guessing they were both traditional students when they attended college. I was told I did better academically than many of the traditional students in their classes, but that they base their decision more on social skills than on grades. My social skills are fine. I have plenty of friends, they just aren't 18-21 years old. I was told they can only go by what they see at the school. That's why I put the word discrimination in the title of this thread.

Really doesn't sound like discrimination to me. It's quite possible that you view younger people as too different for you to hang out with (and at the risk of offending you, it's an idea I'd be inclined to believe from previous threads), which would make the problem yours. It's also quite possible that some of the things you would have to do in the social work program require someone who is capable of socializing with people in that age range, in which case their decision would make a great of sense. Have you talked to them about why the rules are what they are?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 30

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:44:15 PM

defiantbadgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

You are in social work, and there aren't older students? That's odd. I knew a lot of social work students from my criminal justice classes. A lot of them were older people working in law enforcement and corrections. I didn't have any problem meeting people my own age in college when I went back. We all studied together in the library twice a week. I will grant you that we were a small bunch, but we did better on tests than all the kids.

I'm glad you found a group of non-traditional students to hang out with. If the college I attend was like that, I wouldn't have this problem. There are non-traditional students, but they are majoring in business and teaching not social work and they aren't in any of my classes. Sounds like you didn't have to worry about hanging out with kids to avoid appearing to be anti-social.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)

Post #: 31

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:50:30 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'm glad you found a group of non-traditional students to hang out with. If the college I attend was like that, I wouldn't have this problem. There are non-traditional students, but they are majoring in business and teaching not social work and they aren't in any of my classes. Sounds like you didn't have to worry about hanging out with kids to avoid appearing to be anti-social.

If that's how you talk about the younger adults at your college, I can easily see why your advisors believe what they do and why you may have had trouble socializing with younger adults. Valyraen and I frequently socialize with people older than you and we have not been refered to as "kids", instead we are respected as adults who have spent less time on this world but still have our own insights and bring something to the table.

If you view these people who happen to be younger in the same light, find people who share interests with you, you may just find yourself having a good time and will probably learn something in the process.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 32

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 5:53:15 PM

defiantbadgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Really doesn't sound like discrimination to me. It's quite possible that you view younger people as too different for you to hang out with (and at the risk of offending you, it's an idea I'd be inclined to believe from previous threads), which would make the problem yours. It's also quite possible that some of the things you would have to do in the social work program require someone who is capable of socializing with people in that age range, in which case their decision would make a great of sense. Have you talked to them about why the rules are what they are?

I can and often do talk to people of different ages. But there's a big difference between talking to younger people and hanging out with them. It's not that I think they are too different. It's that they and others will think I'm odd trying to push my way into their clique at my age. I do know that many people talk negatively about any adult in their 30's that hangs out with teenagers. I don't, but others do. They often think the person never grew up or is mentally unstable. The truth is, if they got off my back and quit trying to nit pick, I could probably relax alot more and be more social. First they said I had anxiety (private colleges are alot harder and I was used to getting straight A's). When I overcame that, they moved on to this. This whole thing is crazy. I feel like I'm under a microscope.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 1/28/2008 6:06:37 PM >

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 33

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 6:00:10 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Really doesn't sound like discrimination to me. It's quite possible that you view younger people as too different for you to hang out with (and at the risk of offending you, it's an idea I'd be inclined to believe from previous threads), which would make the problem yours. It's also quite possible that some of the things you would have to do in the social work program require someone who is capable of socializing with people in that age range, in which case their decision would make a great of sense. Have you talked to them about why the rules are what they are?

I can and often do talk to people of different ages. But there's a big difference between talking to younger people and hanging out with them. It's not that I think they are too different. It's that they and others will think I'm odd trying to push my way into their clique at my age. I do know that many people talk negatively about any adult in their 30's that hangs out with teenagers. I don't, but others do. They often think the person never grew up or is mentally unstable.

This may, as with many things we disagree about, be a product of where you live. Where I live and socialize, we don't think strangely of a person who hangs out with college students. You are talking about these adults as though they are in high school. Someone in their 30s who can only get friends or dates with high school students would raise my eyebrow, but a 34 year old who makes a friend with a 19 year old in one of her classes because they share an interest and make good points makes perfect sense to me.

Edited to add: Making a few friends at the college and hanging with them sometimes doesn't mean you have to exclude your friends who are your age. The fact that I have friends older than you who I hang out with doesn't mean I can't hang out with people who are younger than me too. Nor does their hanging out with me mean they have to give up all their friends who are older than them.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/28/2008 6:02:40 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 34

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 6:10:37 PM

KatyLied

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If there is not an USO (undergraduate student organization) for non-trads at your school, why don't you find out how you can start one? It would also be good for your resume. When I was going to school as a non-trad we had outings to places of interest that were family-friendly, we also had meetings once a month, often with guests who would speak to issues of interest to non-trads.

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RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 6:10:41 PM

slaveboyforyou

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quote:

If that's how you talk about the younger adults at your college, I can easily see why your advisors believe what they do and why you may have had trouble socializing with younger adults. Valyraen and I frequently socialize with people older than you and we have not been refered to as "kids", instead we are respected as adults who have spent less time on this world but still have our own insights and bring something to the table.

If you view these people who happen to be younger in the same light, find people who share interests with you, you may just find yourself having a good time and will probably learn something in the process.

Acquatic, here is the problem with it. I don't hate hanging out with younger people. I loved my early 20's. It was a great time in my life. But I do remember going back to school and feeling different. I met a lot of people between the ages of 18-23 that expected to be at the top the moment they left school. I can still remember a 19 year old guy in a 'teaching to special needs student's' class I took. He was trying to sound wise, and mentioned that a lot of his friends left high school and were working at McDonald's. That really irritated me. He was only 19, so I assume his friends were his age. He was basically saying that his pals were wasting their lives. He was planning on being a teacher, and he obviously never had to work a hard job like that before. I had a friend that worked for McDonalds after high school, and he never went to college. He went on to make district manager, and pulled in close to 50k a year. He later took that experience and worked as a manager of a nice restaurant, and is now pulling in close to 70k a year. That is a lot of money for where I live, and it's a lot for most places in the U.S.

That 19 year old guy apparently didn't understand the concept of a 'entry level job.' No one starts off at the top unless they have connections. It was hard having to deal with kids that expected to be in management positions after spending several years learning what it was really like in the work force.

< Message edited by slaveboyforyou -- 1/28/2008 6:11:29 PM >

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Post #: 36

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 6:12:57 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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No one starts off at the top unless they have connections.

or sleeps with the president.

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RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 6:14:41 PM

subtee

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I got my degree at 40 from a private collage that had a scant non-traditional enrollment, so I know what you mean (there was one other "old" student who graduated with me). I had to speak to the adimssions office about 6 times to explain I would not be requiring sheets as I would not be living in the dorms. They didn't have protocol.

Two things: I believe you must advocate for your position. They're not bad or mean, just not used to it. It seems to me you must explain the situation from your point of view and document same. This can effect your future and so is very important (if not easy).

Secondly, I made many friends and I did, infrequently, hang out with them. They still call me and come to see me. Every time I walked into the classroom most of them looked to me to hand out the syllabus, assuming I was the prof. By the end of my tenure, (straight A's, Phi Beta Kappa, Summa Cum Laude), they knew I was the real deal, but also that I wasn't a total tool.

It was an experience I wouldn't trade now, even though it was rough.

Best of luck and send me a CM if'n you wanna commiserate.

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Post #: 38

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 6:17:04 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I agree with you 100% and I do think it's a product of where I live. The fact that I'm under a microscope scares me. I go to an extremely small college (there are only two social work instructors). If I try hanging out with them and they aren't receptive, it will be noticed in a very big way. I got over the whole wanting to fit in thing after high school and learned to embrace my individuality. I feel like I'm being forced back into the whole junior high and high school mentality all over again. The friends I have accept me for who I am. The truth is, I'd probably be fine if they would quit questioning me and leave me the hell alone. I've only been there one semester. During the last semester, my autistic son was hospitalized and almost died, his father went to jail, and I had to adjust to no longer being able to make straight A's. This school is driving me nuts and I'm sick of all the drama. At the other school I attended, I was admired by my peers as well as my instructors.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 1/28/2008 6:28:57 PM >

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 39

RE: discrimination and the nontraditional college student - 1/28/2008 6:24:40 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I agree with you 100% and I do think it's a product of where I live. The fact that I'm under a microscope scares me. I go to an extremely small college (there are only two social work instructors). If I try hanging out with them and they aren't receptive, it will be noticed in a very big way. I got over the whole wanting to fit in thing after high school and learned to embrace my individuality. I feel like I'm being forced back into it again. The friends I have accept me for who I am.

I really suggest talking to your advisors. There must be a reason they want people who they know are social for this program and, sadly, like anything else: The work you do outside of class doesn't count for your grade.

If they need to see you socialize, see what you can do to arrange that. I'm sure this is something they have encountered before and probably not with just your age group. I've encountered 19 year olds who didn't socialize on campus because they would rather talk to their friends back home on the home. I wouldn't even suggest trying to hang out right away since trying to force yourself in a social group rarely works, I really think you will have much better luck finding classmates whose points honestly interest you. At any point my academic life, I would have been and still would be flattered if someone came up to me and said "Hey, what you said was really interesting. Could we talk about it some more?"

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 40

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