Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships

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Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/2/2005 5:14:40 PM

kyraofMists

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I am new to the lifestyle and I have been in a relationship with my Lord for almost a year now. We have been in an M/s relationship for four months now. At first many of our interactions made me feel controlled and as if I was submitting to Him. For me, if I am doing something that I enjoy, it is not submission. Submission is when I do something even though I get no pleasure from the act or that challenges me; the pleasure comes from pleasing my Lord.

A couple months ago, I commented to my Lord that our interactions felt "normal", natural and not as if I was being controlled. My behaviors had become so ingrained that it felt unusual not to behave that way. I have had to step back and look at all the interactions and behaviors that would not be there if I were in a non-lifestyle relationship. For instance, calling Him "my Lord", always walking on His right and asking permission to express my thoughts, opinions and to ask questions. These are but a few.

Does this happen with all submissives/slaves; do your Dominants/Masters attempt to make the behaviors a natural, ingrained part of your life and therefore it feels “normal” to you?

Knight's kyra

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/2/2005 5:27:56 PM

Tempestspet

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Basically...yes. Master and I look most of the time like anyone else in our neighborhood, and "non-kinky" friends. The differences are that I don't argue with him...especially infront of people, and/or over at friend's houses. (and yes, I've seen this quite a few times, as have most I'm sure) I walk on his right side also, I ask if I can get him things, instead of saying...yeah it's in their...your feet or hands broken?

Gosh, it's hard even to think of all the little things, because they are done automatically, nad so "naturally" that it's just ingrained.
It just has a daily flow. It's wonderful. The extra stern, or protocol times, might be at play parties, or during playtime at home.

But yes, it just starts to feel very normal, as it should.

i hope that answered?...smiles

Sincerely,
Tempest's pet
jennifer

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/2/2005 5:37:36 PM

pet4mymaster

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i must agree with tempestpet....i believe that it supposed to become a natural act...to serve completly without any other thought than to serve...if i am incorrect i hope others will correct me,but i feel that for your cats of servitude to become natural only shows the strengthing of your submission to your Lord

Serving With Pride Now & Always--Pet

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i give my mind,my heart,my body and soul to my Sir and am rewarded daily by being allowed to serve and please Him.

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/2/2005 5:38:43 PM

pet4mymaster

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i am sorry for the misspeeling in my last post...please forgive

Serving My Sir With Joy--Pet

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i give my mind,my heart,my body and soul to my Sir and am rewarded daily by being allowed to serve and please Him.

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/2/2005 5:51:57 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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While submission for me does not necessarily involve sacrifice or doing something "in spite of" something else, what you're experiencing is very normal, and IMO, very necessary. Relationships just don't work long term if you're constantly having to up the ante or act off kilter.

IMO that's the entire point of training- to learn new habits and behaviors and have them become second nature. Once you've acheived that, then you're well-trained.

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/5/2005 7:59:06 AM

Hissweetshiv

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I have to agree... there have been times where i have had to censor myself in a "nilla" situation, in order to not call Him Master. Over the time we've had together (only 8 months since i moved here-wow!) it has become second nature to serve Him, whether we are in a nilla situation or not. I think that's one of the best parts of our relationship - the fact that it does feel natural rather than feeling like i'm roleplaying or acting a part - which has never felt natural to me.

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"Forget love...i'd rather fall in chocolate."

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/7/2005 9:07:25 PM

Dracironsgirl

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i call my Master Sir in public with friends, everywhere we go. i don't want to hide who i am, but i do get second looks at times but that's ok with me. my nilla friends know i'm into BDSM (gently informed them of this). Of course i don't call Master Sir when it will cause serious harm like at my daughtetrs school, i don't think they'd understand.

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~love a Man in control~

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/8/2005 3:17:20 AM

NakedOnMyChain

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I'm typically a very different person in scene and out. Submissiveness has always been an undeniable part of me, but the majority of me is a very strong willed woman. I have the need to submit myself to master, but outside of scene I run my own life. So, no, I suppose. It doesn't feel normal for me usually. I don't think I'd really have it any other way, though. It adds a certain magic and mystery to the whole experience. It's one part of my life that I can't get blase about. If I was in the lifestyle 24/7, I could see it happening, though.

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"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/8/2005 3:34:36 AM

krys

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I went through the exact same thing kyra. My sister told me early on one day all those little things I made a conscious effort to do would become completely ingrained, and she was right. I find myself on breaks realizing that I had better get on with having my cigarette or eating my lunch, as no one is going to come along to give me permission to do so. ;)

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Krys

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RE: Normality of D/s or M/s Relationships - 9/9/2005 7:53:41 PM

Hallittlelolita

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i'm not ashamed who i am and that is a slave to serve my Master. i as well call my Master Sir in public with friends, but if it is just the two of us in public i call Him Master and i wear my collar 24/7 as well it is 1/2 inch leather band with 2 d rings at the end and it locks with a blue heart padlock i am so proud and honored to wear it. I am not ashamed of who or what i am if people dont like it well they can keep that to them selves. As for my Master's friends well he told them we were into bdsm and that i was on punishment at the time sort of of a little humiliation didnt bother me at all, they laughed but we dont care i just take it with a grain of salt and realize that they are just boring vanillas LOL.