RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (Full Version)

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kyraofMists -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 10:57:27 AM)

I am not required to speak in third person and it is not something that he likes.  However, I enjoy speech restrictions in general and there are several that I have.  A few are:

The use of a title when speaking to him or about him
Not being allowed to use his first name
Saying "my pleasure" instead of "you are welcome"
Asking permission to ask questions, give information or state an opinion.

The restrictions require me to be more mindful of what I am saying and doing.  They help me stay focused on the present.

In regards to the third person speech, I can appreciate the motivation other people have for using it.  I find the use of it tends to call more of my attention to the submissive rather than minimizing it.  However, that is only an outsider's perspective.

Knight's Kyra



breatheasone -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 11:41:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

It is very annoying and I refuse to listen to it. My sub does not nor ever will use 3rd person speech with me.

~Lashra


I totally agree....



fluffyswitch -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 11:50:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: childoftheshadow

I could/would never do it, it would drive me mad . . . and it annoys the hell out of me when other people do it (online and in person).

But

What ever works for ya


haven't read the whole thread but same here--it's just odd and clunky but hey if it makes you happy more power to you.



AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:03:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

It’s a total mind-fuck, and power-control to the max.   
 
When I express an interest in something, I’d surely expect my submissive or my slave to jump at the chance to offer me just that…regardless of their own interests. 



I once read a quote somewhere that went something like this: "It isn't bondage until you want to get out...and can't."

I think submission that is wholly on the sub's own terms is not really submission.  Indeed, acts of real submission involve doing the tasks or activities one dislikes because it benefits or pleases the Dominant. 

That doesn't mean one has to dislike every task or activity, BTW.  I may love 90% of what I do for her, but it is that 10% I dislike that proves [to me anyway] that I am willing to sacrifice some of my own comfort [physical or mental] to make her happy.

As much as I hate slashy-speak and third-person speak, if I were with a Domina who felt this was important to her sense of control over me, Y/you would see this humble correspondent adopt it PDQ. [;)]



sexyred1 -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:24:29 PM)

sexyred1 does not like 3rd person speech. She does not like more than 2 people involved in a relationship.



schoenekitty -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:38:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: venusinblu

Actually, I will confess .. when I want something from my Master, and the best way to get anything from him is to go all girly and cute, I flutter my eyelashes, sit on his knee and whisper to him in the third person calling myself the pet name he gave me ... and after having a few orgasms inflicted upon me  I generally get what I want! .. so, it has it's uses!

Devious-nusnus, thy name is woman ... !


I admit I do that too (it helps because I generally hate asking for things but if I don't actually feel like it's me asking it's not so hard)- and I will do it during sex because it turns him on... But other than that I find it hard to give in to...



schoenekitty -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:44:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: schoenekitty

Ha I totally agree... he likes it, I don't... grrr

Rover- that's definately comforting- I kinda felt bad about not wanting/being able to do it [8D]And thanks



So you have two things to decide.  Who is the dominant in the relationship.  You or him?
If it is you, then you do what you want.

If it is him, then you have to decide whether you can submit to what he wants and ifnot, explain it to him and don't submit.
Submission isn't always easy, it's hard work and you don't always get to do what you want and what feels comfortable - it's about submitting to the desires of another, someone whos decision is what is more important than what you think you can or can't do.

the.dark.


I am the submissive in the relationship and I definately know that submission isn't always easy. I just don't feel like I can be me while speaking like that- and "me" my whole person is who my master fell in love with- he says part of what makes him happy is that I am the person that I am and it feels like in speaking the way he wants I'll lose that- I'll lose who he fell in love with and I'll lose the person I spent so much time becoming and learning to love and accept....



RCdc -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:50:43 PM)

Then if that's the scenario, let him know your concerns and he will make the decision.  Then if he still decides he wants you to do it, you have let him know your concerns and you decide whether you are compatable enough to serve him in that way.  Maybe he wants you to change.  Maybe he wants you to learn something.  Either way, end of the day, it's his desire that matters, not yours - yes?  Or no?
 
the.dark.



schoenekitty -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:52:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee
I find it interesting that so many submissives have such strong feelings about it.  Perhaps there is a difference between ‘submissive- and ‘slave-attitude, huh?  When I express an interest in something, I’d surely expect my submissive or my slave to jump at the chance to offer me just that…regardless of their own interests.  What I’ve found is that whatever the s-type is doing to please me, it puts us both in a lovely frame of mind, and isn’t that what a D/s or M/s relationship is all about; enjoying The Exchange of Power?

Absolutely.  I am not going to get into the whole sub/slave debate, but something poked me with a big stick on the OP.  He is Master - what he says occurs surely?  If not, then there is a compatability issue in a relationship, and a question on how much authority the slave has in a relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: childoftheshadow

Thankfully, in my relationship, he takes my feelings into consideration too, and would never ask me to do it.


See, this rocks and is all good.  But the OP doesn't specify if he knows her feelings(communication), and if he is taking her feelings into consideration and even if he is - then they do not sound compatable.  And that is the crunch hey.

the.dark.


Oh sorry, I should clarify (and I'm sorry that these are all soo scattered- I'm reading this piece by piece and responding as I feel I need). My master does know how I feel about it (although he doesn't really understand where I'm coming from because he could do it- but we are very different people). He also takes my feelings into consideration for pretty much everything. This issue is just something that's been an issue from the beginning, I think even before I even agreed to be his slave... And I believe and hope it's just in this area that we aren't compatable- aside from our very different taste in fashion [8D]



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:53:00 PM)

I run across it only on accassion, mainly in Gorean circles. However, it can come up at High Protocol dinners and occassionaly play events. In these cases, I have no objection to it. My own slaves historically have seldom used it.

Another area it can come up in, is when a slave who is in an M/s relationship is asking for something. Such as "May this girl sit....or have a glass of water" etc. I believe though that this particular protocol is no longer as popular as it once was.  Given my background though, I do respond positively to it and appreciate it at certain types of events.



szobras -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:55:41 PM)

 She is required on occasion to speak in third person; speaks and communicates very well and quite clearly when doing so. Not an all day restriction and reserved for specific times, it has taken practice for her to become quite proficient, Among other purposes for her to speak in this manner, I also view it as a devotion of her efforts towards obedience in her learning to do so by my directive. 



Rover -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 12:57:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

Well, there is also a tradition in leather/old guard training methods whereby the 3rd person is used. This tradition is probably dying out, but still exists in some circles.


I'm curious as to your source for this information.  I don't recall it having been mentioned even once by Joseph Bean, Guy Baldwin, Gayle Rubin, Jack Rinella, Jay Wiseman, or any of the other sources for factual information about the "Old Guard" that I have read and/or spoken with.  But I'm always anxious to become better informed.
 
John



HeidiAnn -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 1:04:25 PM)

lol, I realized while reading this that I wrote my profile in third person. Don't know why. My D told me for the first two lines what to write in my profile. I quess writing in 3rd person just fit more with those lines than in 1st.

I've had one D-friend who made me talk without using the 1st person at all. He never ever insisted upon it, but kinda quided me torward it with the way he talked. With him it felt totally natural, still feels very very funny talking to him in 1st person.:D But he is the best mind-fucker I've met.

heidi



softandshy -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 1:28:44 PM)

beth is very good at speaking in the third person fluently.  I admire her for that fluency.  From having tried it, I know it isn't as easy as some can make it sound.  It is also definitely more difficult in speech than in writing.

My Captain has not made this a requirement.  She has mentioned, though, that it's something she enjoys so I will probably make a concerted effort at learning it.  I'm just not quite ready yet to let go to that degree.  Eliminating the I is a bit scary.  I want to do so for her, believe she's the right person with whom to do this, but it's a growth process.  Soon we will be living and working together permanently.  That will also present a much more comfortable opportunity.



Kana -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 1:49:34 PM)

Whenever I hear it I have Terrell Owens Flashbacks.



Justme696 -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 1:57:45 PM)

When a girl messages me an she speaks in 3rd person, I let her finish. If she is gorean..I let it be...(because many prefer to talk like that, it makes them "property")....if it is a non-gorean..I tel her it is not needed, even though I have a light gorean back ground.
It is not something I demand, but will not forbid either. If it bores me..I tell the girl to be silent.



Missokyst -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 2:23:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AFlyInYourWeb

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

It’s a total mind-fuck, and power-control to the max.   
 
When I express an interest in something, I’d surely expect my submissive or my slave to jump at the chance to offer me just that…regardless of their own interests. 
I have to admit I don't understand that mindset.  Does this mean if you love doing every petty little thing, every sensual turn, ect, and you actually enjoy it all, mean you are not really submitting?
Why do so many people assume there must be something you don't enjoy in the mix in order for it to be something real?
Heck, I picked up some of the smelliest socks on earth as a child, and I still would have rather done so, then have them stick up the room.
You don't have to be joyous or reluctant, you just have to do it.
That isn't submitting in my view, it is just practical.
I would have done the same if it came to it, even if it was nilla.  It is very difficult for me to see a qualifier of doing it regardless of wanting to, so I could feel submissive.
Kyst



I think submission that is wholly on the sub's own terms is not really submission.  Indeed, acts of real submission involve doing the tasks or activities one dislikes because it benefits or pleases the Dominant. 

That doesn't mean one has to dislike every task or activity, BTW.  I may love 90% of what I do for her, but it is that 10% I dislike that proves [to me anyway] that I am willing to sacrifice some of my own comfort [physical or mental] to make her happy.




hejira92 -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 2:25:45 PM)

The one who was training me for slavery had begun to implement 3rd person speech for me. He had me write extensively on the meaning of "I, me, mine" and why those terms were inappropriate for property. The dignity and individuation of "owning" oneself, even in speech, was to be banished from my thought processes.
 
I do see the benefit of this training for 24/7 slaves, even if it is not used all the time- just the mindset.
 
Master does not require this of me and is not interested in it at all. He finds myriad other ways to f**k with my mind. [;)]



michelleryder -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 3:29:15 PM)

It's very difficult to talk in third person i can't see anyone dropping into the habit easily. I've been trying and failing for over three years now. My diarys all been written that way for the last three years but it's easy to just amend that. Speaking at the times a different matter altogether.



Evility -> RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person? (1/29/2008 3:44:55 PM)

"Jimmy played pretty good today."

Seinfeld episode #105
Original air date: March 16, 1995





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