FTopinMichigan
Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika So I’m curious. How many of you share my view, think I’m completely out in left field or think this might be fine for me but totally get off on micromanagement. And why? - LA quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn Hi LA, I definitely share your view. Because I choose to experience this lifestyle within a monogamous, loving relationship, my submissive needs to be someone with whom I can relate on many levels. I want my relationship to be a partnership with someone who shares my interests in BDSM and D/s, as well as vanilla life, without needing to be micromanaged. My sub needs to have a strong sense of self and be comfortable in his role, as well as comfortable in his life in general. Ditto, to what LadyJulieAnn offered above. I will add that I tend to loathe the type of submissive men I've been meeting lately. Not wanting to generalize (but, I will )...but the majority of male subs I've met, are far too quiet and introverted for me. When I am quite clear about enjoying an extrovert, with a strong personality, I see men that stay quiet and do the "wait-until-spoken-to" character. This type may be fun "in scene," but is hardly the relationship type, if he can't express himself. And I'm talking about expressing themselves whether in an formal or informal introduction, or even when asked direct questions. (How many of us can be Dental experts, 'cause it's like pulling teeth to get some guys to talk?) And yes, I've met the strong, confident and self assured (male) subs, but they are usually attached to a partner/wife. In most cases, it's the wife, and the couple's evolution or discovery into BDSM that came 'after' the marriage. (And in my own observation, I've found the majority of submissive women to be more than confident about themselves, and "very" strong in personality, in contrast to men.) When I've talked with this type of man, to explain my lack of interest in them, they respond defensively with, "that's what women want." Really? Did anyone tell the women? I am happy to see that most of my lady friends, and it appears quite a few here too...do not seem to enjoy the same type that makes me cringe. (I've also noticed many confident male sub posters here, which is pleasant to see.) I like someone that has enough confidence in themselves to be able to articulate who they are and what they like, as well as hold a simple conversation. I've found it rare to find an articulate AND confident sub man that isn't a wallflower, at BDSM events. He's usually that same guy that complains, "I just can't seem to meet anyone." K
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