Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (Full Version)

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mandymhv -> Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (1/30/2008 5:36:30 PM)

Hi, I'm new here and enjoy the site very much.  I am a 49 MWM who's married but longs to have a Mistress who practices Loving Female Authority.  This is a term I learned from Elise Sutton writings, her  site is http://www.elisesutton.homestead.com/Main.html   I truely feel I can participate in this life style and long to do it.  I have only met one Mistress and things didn't work out, she was looking for someone fulltime which is impossible for me.

So, does any one have any recommendations on how I can participate?

Thanks   Mandymhv (a.k.a. Matt)



MissMagnolia -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (1/30/2008 5:39:04 PM)

Ask your wife if she wants to participate?



ItalianSMistress -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (1/30/2008 5:43:23 PM)

Go see a Pro
Or find a Domme that does not want a 24/7
Or, as Miss Mangnolia said, ask you wife
 
Those are pretty much your three options, as I see it



EponasChylde -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (1/30/2008 6:03:43 PM)

Ahem, I recommend you tell you wife, and if she can't meet your needs, then divorce her.

You know, doing the honest and honorable thing?



LadyHathor -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (1/30/2008 6:06:51 PM)

Buy your wife the book " A Different Loving", if she doesn't get it, find a Pro Domme, they won't ruin your marriage.



bipolarber -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (1/30/2008 8:40:46 PM)

I too am married. But I have my wife's permission to look outside our marriage to engage in this kind of play. If your wife doesn't know about your desires, and you are going behind her back to find a Domme, then I'm afraid that your relationship is in for some rough days ahead. Most likely, your marriage is doomed.

Talk to her, and be honest, or else this isn't for you. If you can't be trusted to be honest with your wife about a potential risk to you both, how can a Mistress trust you enough not to screw her over too?




LadyPact -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (1/30/2008 9:32:08 PM)

My own sub is also married, so I'm hoping My perspective will help you.

In your post, there wasn't a whole lot of information on where you stand in this with your wife.  That's going to be very important because there are going to be different catagories on where people that you would want to share an involvement stand.  As some stated above, the big question of, "Does the wife know" is going to be a big one.  You're going to find that there is a big difference between the wife having full knowledge of your extracurricular activities, or if your wife is completely in the dark.  Believe Me, it matters.

Any way that you can encourage others to understand that you are engaging in the lifestyle with your wife's consent, is a definite plus.  If you have her permission, this might be something you want to add to your profile.  If your wife is willing to meet and talk with prospective Dominants with you, all the better.  Otherwise, you're just another guy who's sneaking around, and I can tell you that will not help your cause.  Some of us out here don't very much care for the cheating/lying thing that a lot of marrieds come around with.  The more open, honest, and sincere you are, the better your chances will become.  Just from what I've experienced here, I can tell you that there are many, like Me, who won't be willing to enter a BDSM dynamic with someone who isn't capable of being honest with their primary partner.

What I would suggest to you is, if you've already had "the talk" with the wife, put some of that information out there.  Anyone interested in you is going to want to know the ground rules.  Another thing I would recommend is involving your wife to any degree that she accepts.  Whether that be looking through profiles with you, being willing to go through vanilla meets with you, or even reading some lifestyle related material with you, all of these things help.  Perhaps she'd be willing to attend a local munch with you, to get to know people.



LadyJane -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (2/2/2008 4:25:37 PM)

Ahh, mandy!  What a challenge you have before you!
 
When married men have sought to wear one of My collars, I have told them to first acquire their wife's permission. 
 
I am a selfish Mistress, I come first, before wife, children and mortgage.
 
So follow the good advice of the comments here, speak to your wife about this burning passion you have, be sure to tell her of the advice you have received.  Ideally, your wife will agree to participate, especially if she realizes thatshe can direct you to service her at her whim!
 
If not, perhaps she will agree to a once a month date where you go see a prodom.
 
Good luck!
 
Lady Jane



atursvcMaam -> RE: Recommendations for a MWM seeing a Mistress (2/2/2008 4:35:41 PM)

i agree with all who said to ask your wife first, but if i may add a humble suggestion.  Take all the time, money and energy that you would devote to a Domme, all your creativity, desire and romance, and try it at home.  You might be happily surprised with the result.  Trust me that there is a good possibility that her thoughts are mirroring yours, and she might require and desire the spark that you seek. 
     just a humble thought and suggestion.



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