I swear this is true... (Full Version)

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brainiacsub -> I swear this is true... (1/31/2008 11:21:17 AM)

I have a one-eyed dog. His name is Max A. Million, but Max for short.
Anyway, yesterday the neighbor stops by with her little brother in tow. She's in college and he is six. She sees Max, runs over to him, gives him a reassuring hug, and says, "The poor thing...how does he eat?"

Her little brother, with that 'hey, I know this one' expression on his face said, "With his mouth, silly."

I was very touched. It made my day so I thought I'd share.



carlie310 -> RE: I swear this is true... (1/31/2008 11:44:58 AM)

A similar story: my eldest UM has problems with metaphoric speech.  She was eating lunch with my dad one day when a friend stopped by the table to say hello.  The friend was introduced to her, and said, "You are so pretty! I wish I had your eyes!"

My daughter replied with a look of horror, "But. . .I need them!"





Jeffff -> RE: I swear this is true... (1/31/2008 11:56:02 AM)

I swear . I once had a dobe. called max 2 million......honest..:)

Jeff



domiguy -> RE: I swear this is true... (1/31/2008 2:59:03 PM)

I don't understand...Since I created you, you would think that I could at least follow a story that I would have witnessed or made up.

Why can't a one eyed dog eat? Why would she ask how he eats? I might understand the story if you mentioned he had but one tooth or was missing his lower jaw. If he was missing both eyes then I possibly could see why someone might speculate on his inability to complete any number of activities.

I have seen many shows with pirates and many pirates seem to be missing an eye and in some cases a leg...Obviously some sort of an ccupational hazard. Anywhooo, many of these pirates seem to be rather hefty along the wasteline. If a pirate with only one eye can eat I would simply take the leap and imagine that a one eyed dog could easily follow suit.

From now on I would like your stories to make more sense or to feature in great detail your techniques of giving head to all of your friends. I hope this is not considered to be out of line.



Saratov -> RE: I swear this is true... (1/31/2008 5:22:03 PM)

[8|] Well one possibility would be that w/ only one eye there would be a depth perception problem. [sm=m23.gif]
BTW, not all the pirates wearing eye patches wore them due to a missing eye. 



VadFarkas -> RE: I swear this is true... (1/31/2008 5:46:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

BTW, not all the pirates wearing eye patches wore them due to a missing eye. 



I saw that Mythbusters episode too!



MistressVnus -> RE: I swear this is true... (2/1/2008 8:09:34 AM)

quote:

Why can't a one eyed dog eat?


Geesh, domiguy.  Even I thought you would have been more wise.
The dog can't eat because he's too busy walking around in circles, silly.



AMaster -> RE: I swear this is true... (2/1/2008 8:11:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

I have a one-eyed dog. His name is Max A. Million, but Max for short.
Anyway, yesterday the neighbor stops by with her little brother in tow. She's in college and he is six. She sees Max, runs over to him, gives him a reassuring hug, and says, "The poor thing...how does he eat?"

Her little brother, with that 'hey, I know this one' expression on his face said, "With his mouth, silly."

I was very touched. It made my day so I thought I'd share.


Is she  blonde?



brainiacsub -> RE: I swear this is true... (2/1/2008 8:53:34 AM)

Ha! No, but she might as well have been.



brainiacsub -> RE: I swear this is true... (2/1/2008 8:55:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I don't understand...Since I created you, you would think that I could at least follow a story that I would have witnessed or made up. [...snip...]

Are you blonde?



Termyn8or -> RE: I swear this is true... (2/2/2008 12:28:18 AM)

dom, you almost wrecked the whole fucking thing.

Wanna talk about the things kids say ? Asked about cigarettes in school my buddy's son asked "Do you mean the ones Dad makes or the ones he buys ?".

Luckily it was a Catholic school and dem people know how to keepa der mout shut, if you gota few bucks.

T



brainiacsub -> RE: I swear this is true... (2/2/2008 2:42:24 PM)

LMAO! Good one. Ok, things kids say, huh? I've got another good one.

Years ago when I was living in the SF Bay Area, I rented a row boat and  took my kids fishing on Lake Merced for an afternoon of fun and family - sharing stories and secrets, imparting wisdom, discussing life's lessons - you know, quality bonding time. I asked them what would they do if they had a million dollars. My daughter chimed in and said "I'd buy this brand of jeans, that brand of dress, x number and brand of shoes, 5 of these, 10 of those, and I'd pay for an operation to sew Bubby's lips shut so he could only eat through tubes." I looked at her and said, "You know, I was hoping you'd think of ways to use the money to help others instead of spending it all on yourself." She responded, "Well, I would spend alot and get Bubby the best tubes."



Huntertn -> RE: I swear this is true... (2/3/2008 11:09:30 AM)

brother and sisters unite...just keep the sewing needles and tubes away...lol



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