Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/4/2005 9:39:47 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		I seem to of stumbled upon a particular quirk, thats screaming "look" in more ways than one
Thing is, i know very little about it. Does anyone have a manual on how to get started, what are the risks, legals, setc etc.

Ive watched some heterosexual porn recently, and the bit that kept bringing me down was when she 'looked' at you, she kept ruining it, coz she was looking at me, it feels like it has to be, 'unseen', surruptitious. It's once removed too.

Does anyone understand this quirk?
I dont ask for your judgement. Just information, be it factual or anecdotal.
thankyou in advance
pandoravampire
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/4/2005 10:14:15 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hmm voyeurism...pretty much watching someone without them saying its ok or not being in an environment where everyone expects it and is ok with it is generally out. If not illegal, it would be unethical.

Webcams can be great for that, porn sites often have web cams set up for normal viewing.

Your best bet would be to go to clubs and feed your need there- either bdsm clubs to watch play, swinger clubs to watch sex, or be lucky enough to find a place that combines both subcultures.

If you want to keep it more intimate, then get to know other couples that you are comfortable watching eachother with. Trust me, no matter what is going on, if they are intimate, they can forget your presence and allow you to just be the voyeur. Or ask to be chained and blindfolded next to the bed while your partner has sex with someone else- you can hear it and smell it and feel the movements through the bed/floor, but you can't touch or really be a part of it.

One great thing I find is being locked into a cage, you're pretty much forced to be a voyeur at that point. Also, feed your thrill by being an everyday voyeur. Go to a public place alone and just feel out, reach out, people watch. What are they wearing? What are they doing? What are their emotions? What COULD they be doing that is so not obvious right now?

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/4/2005 10:38:23 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		See about watching "Vouyer The Movie" It's a somewhat interesting light porn flick with interesting plots and twist.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 2:22:07 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		pandoravampire, I know what you mean about being totally put off by scenes in porn when the woman starts looking at the camera/'me'... I'm thinking ~ what? Get on with what you're doing! Don't involve me in it!

I hadn't thought that this indicated any voyeuristic tendencies on my part, however. I thought of it like any film ~ if one of the actors starts looking at the camera, it breaks away from the 'suspended disbelief' and the narrative, and there's a point to it. In porn films I wonder if the point of the woman looking at the camera isn't about 'including' the (assumed to be male) viewer in the 'action'... in the same way as the actor in a regular film doing something similar is meant to be taking the audience into their confidence.

But I don't want, or need to feel included when I'm watching porn. I just want them to get on with it. So... on the whole, I wouldn't say that being annoyed and put off by the woman looking at the camera said anything about any real life tendency in me to want to watch others have sex without their knowledge (if you know what I mean). It says to me that I'd rather the woman looked like she was actually interested in what she was doing, rather than pushing her hair aside and giving her best 'to camera: i'm loving it are you?' look.

~ Elektra

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 7:25:27 AM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Yup! That's the one thing that is a real turn-off to me in any of the porn I've seen. It's like the girl is playing to the camera and that makes the whole thing fake to me. She's not having sex she's putting on a show. (That and the guys moaning while they're doing it with a cock they can't even get hard cuz they're so bored.)

I'm not familiar with clubs at all (we don't seem to have any in this area), but I would say find some friends in your BDSM community and carefully let your desires be known. I'll bet you will get offers or at least ideas.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 8:10:05 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Yep, I can understand it. I even hate hearing the woman making any kinds of sounds much less looking up into the camera. Such a turn off. I'm happy to say I found my solution, man on man action, since I have a bit of a penis fetish, its the best of both worlds. Just watched my first man on man movie this past weekend. Cocks everywhere. LOL. They could skip all that darn kissing though, they seem more affectionate towards each other than woman on man sex.

Hopefully I won't have to look at another on screen most annoying woman starring back into my eyes ever again. Especially those shots when she's blowing the guy and giving that damn staged looked into the lens. Just get on with the action, just let me see the darn thingamagig being licked, sucked and jerked, I only want to hear the men moaning and begging for more.

My guess is that it's done the way it is, because, men are the major purchasers of porn, so maybe the guys want to feel more like part of the action, getting the feeling from the star that the woman is looking at them and adoring their cocks. I don't know for sure what the reason is, this is just my take on it.


Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 9/5/2005 8:13:40 AM >

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 10:55:47 AM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		First of, you can find reviews of porn and find ones that are labelled "voyeurism". The industry really does understand this fetish. Don't be afraid to talk to people that sell it, they usually know, and they know how to cater to preferences.

I'm just going to add that yeah, you should look for clubs in your area, or even look for "short vacations" to other areas that have clubs. It's might be worth it, not only to get away from home, but to be more confident that you don't know the people involved. Otherise, do shop specifically for things under the heading of "voyeur." You're not alone, it's quite a fetish.


(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 12:29:01 PM   
MemphisDsCouple


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/1/2004
From: Memphis, TN, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

Yup! That's the one thing that is a real turn-off to me in any of the porn I've seen. It's like the girl is playing to the camera and that makes the whole thing fake to me. She's not having sex she's putting on a show.



I'm not a regular porn watcher, so maybe it ends up that I only watch decent porn. But in the porn I *have* watched it often starts out like you describe but then the sex gets to the girl and she ends up forgetting about the camera. Being a people watcher, I always like that part. At that point I don't care if they look at the cam or not if their eyes are all glassed over and they're not seeing anything anyway. LOL


quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaB

My guess is that it's done the way it is, because, men are the major purchasers of porn, so maybe the guys want to feel more like part of the action, getting the feeling from the star that the woman is looking at them and adoring their cocks. I don't know for sure what the reason is, this is just my take on it.



Actually, I always had the impression that it had more to do with the porn starlets themselves. With their own self image. I think the majority see themselves as movie stars. I'm quite confident that they're sold on that idea by the people who solicit them to make the porn flicks. "It's not really sex, baby, it's *acting*" And, I'm sure the porn babe recruiters have a million examples of women who moved from porn to the movies. In fact, I watched a news blurb about the porn convention they have every year in LV and they interviewed this porn star and she was actually saying that it wasn't really sex, that it was acting, that she was proud of her career..... and so on. So when they look into the cam and do the acting bit, hey, it's only what they're told to do and have convinced themselves that they're doing.

Like I said above though, I really like the part where the sex overwhelms everything else and the girl's eyes glaze over and her body tenses up and instead of a repetitive languorous reaction to what she's experiencing she starts pumping and writhing with a will. Her tone of voice changes. Yanno? Everything changes. Maybe it's my business training but I can tell the instant that transformation takes place. It's one of my fav things to look for in porn.



_____________________________

B. (the male half of MemphisDsCouple)

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 1:16:00 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Like I said above though, I really like the part where the sex overwhelms everything else and the girl's eyes glaze over and her body tenses up and instead of a repetitive languorous reaction to what she's experiencing she starts pumping and writhing with a will. Her tone of voice changes. Yanno? Everything changes. Maybe it's my business training but I can tell the instant that transformation takes place. It's one of my fav things to look for in porn.


I guess of the few, (okay about 10 - 15,) porn movies I've seen, over the last couple of decades, they've mostly, must have been really bad porn, because I've never seen where the women appear to be into it other than giving a porformance for the camera. It would deffinately be a big plus if all were really into the actual exchange. It's definately a big turn on when I know the man is lost in the moments leading up to the final release.

Rosa

(in reply to MemphisDsCouple)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 1:29:42 PM   
MemphisDsCouple


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/1/2004
From: Memphis, TN, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaB

I guess of the few, (okay about 10 - 15,) porn movies I've seen, over the last couple of decades, they've mostly, must have been really bad porn, because I've never seen where the women appear to be into it other than giving a porformance for the camera. It would deffinately be a big plus if all were really into the actual exchange. It's definately a big turn on when I know the man is lost in the moments leading up to the final release.



Hmmmm.... It probably helps the viewer to remember/understand how porn movies are probably made. In straight, regular, dramatic movies, the actors spend a lot of time doing what they call "getting into character". Often months. They gain or lose a lot of weight. They study and incorporate an accent. They develop body posture. They adopt mannerisms. They all get together and discuss the interaction and chemistry of the characters they're portraying. And so on. Porn flicks, otoh, the people walk in, the producer tells them it starts with them meeting in a hotel hallway, he turns on the lights and they go at it. LOL I mean... it's pretty shallow. So it's no great surprise if that is reflected in the final product.

About the guys.... well, frankly I don't watch them much. LOL But! I think they are probably often preoccupied with the task of either not cumming prematurely or of cumming at the appropriate time. I mean, it's gotta be right at... what? 30 mins? 40 mins? 60 mins? LOL



_____________________________

B. (the male half of MemphisDsCouple)

(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 2:05:39 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		thanks for the replies.
The porn thang, hettie porn bores the shit out of me, the whole stages thing, and the girls watching and looking pretty for the camera, oh geez, i guess you have to be 17 and male to really appreciate this durge.
For voyueristic quality porn, gay is best i think, more cock and anal than you can shake a stick at, loverly

People watching is something i do everyday, intensely. I do this because i just cant stop myself, because im payed very well to do it also is a bonus. But secretly watching someone is a different kettle of fish alltogether.


Watching at clubs, now ive only ever done this once at a bdsm club, and then again, the guy getting his cock delightfully sucked was erotic as fuck, untill he started to look at me, his attention to the poor girl sucking away was lost, and therefor rendered the whole scene a no go for me. (wanker, and a limp one at that).
At beyond, for those whove been, this is much better. As a female im there as a guest, though its sold as pansexual, its truly bdsm and predominantly gay, and being a woman, no bugger is interested in watching me, so i get to watch freely and in isolation, so to speak. This makes for a more enjoyable perve. This is where ive indulged so far.

Being caged, chained to the bed whilst they got on with things, is not right? its a different thrill i imagine. (one that sounds nice, but not available in my lifestyle).


Ethically, im aware that the person i am watching is not consenting. But its hard to be a voyeur and have consent.
But that is what i wish to do. It has to be surruptitious for it to work. Once im outted as watching, im turned off. ?

For what i mean by voyeurism, think stood outside someones window, their curtains not drawn, they cannot see you. But you can see them. Its non consentual, is 'forbidden', its not involving others AT ALL, no connection. In much the same way as masterbating 'with' someone else, is no longer masterbation, for me, once a person is aware of observation, its no longer what i seek.

I guess from the responses so far, im a little alone here lol.
Thanks for the film suggestion Fangs, having read a little more from my view point, do you still think its relevant? Dont want to be adding to the crap porn collection thats in this house allready. And wasting money i dont have right now lol.

(in reply to MemphisDsCouple)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 2:16:01 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pandoravampire
Watching at clubs, now ive only ever done this once at a bdsm club, and then again, the guy getting his cock delightfully sucked was erotic as fuck, untill he started to look at me, his attention to the poor girl sucking away was lost, and therefor rendered the whole scene a no go for me. (wanker, and a limp one at that).

Well I'd probably feel the prickling energy of someone watching me intently in my scene that erotically and look around to find its source as well. Unless they'd told me they wanted to watch me get lost in it, remember you're the voyeur, *I* am the exhibitionist, I want my thrill too!

Now, once I've fixed you as my source, I can forget abouti t and go right back to being intense and perfect with the person I am with, and thus allow you to be lost in the experience of watching.

A solution again is websites. Some cool sites just have cams all over the house, the people in the house KNOW they are being watched and know to perform occasionally, but generally they don't know YOU are watching or react as if someone is, so you can still "stay in the shadows."

quote:


Being caged, chained to the bed whilst they got on with things, is not right? its a different thrill i imagine. (one that sounds nice, but not available in my lifestyle).

It's certainly different than watching a couple get it on. Perhaps a hot fantasy of being shoved under the bed tied and gagged at a party while another couple happens to come upon the bed on their own and has sex there would be a better way to play it out.
quote:


Ethically, im aware that the person i am watching is not consenting. But its hard to be a voyeur and have consent.
But that is what i wish to do. It has to be surruptitious for it to work. Once im outted as watching, im turned off. ?

Well there are options here, the website one was mentioned. You obviously don't have to go up to every couple and say "hey can I watch?" if you're at a club because everyone there KNOWS people will be watching and is ok with it. Some people get so into their scenes that they WON'T notice you watching at all.

However, if you're going to be in person, a few feet away from a couple, and getting a serious sexual buzz from them, it would be silly not to expect them to pick up on the energy shift, specially if they are exhibitionists. You could work on shields or ways to see without being seen at a club which might help.

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 2:20:29 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I love to watch myself in the mirror...Does that count?

I believe anyone that gets hot watching porn flicks without a partner to participate with is a vouyer.....Damn, I just keep giving myself away here.

Hmmm, I know a friend that does that!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 2:25:34 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
One idea may be to explain your situation to an understanding dominant and allowing He/She to take control of the situation. If He/She has a submissive whom is subservient to Him/Her completely and excepts all from Him, He could allow for a scene where you can watch and the sub doesnt actually know, not until after at least. OK - so the dominant would know, but you would still have the satisfaction that part of the voyeurism is realised.
I would stress that this should be done to a submissive who is in complete subservience to the dominant, so although it is non consensual, it is consensually so - if that makes sense?

I completely understand your 'fetish' as I have the same. And web cams/links just don't satisfy the desire or are an answer to it - it's all so false and second hand from a personal point of view.

Feel able to write me on the other side if you want to talk through anything.

Peace and Love


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 2:30:37 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		Emerald, thankyou for the insight of the exhibitionist. I really had not got what you were on about prior, that makes perfect sense, and when i re-read your original response, so does that. Thankyou.

The thought of being chained under a bed, (well chained anywhere lol) is very hot, but not tapping into the same energy for me. But to explain to a exibitionist what i am doing, and that i do not wish to be observed may work if they are agreeable. Had the man id watched, checked who was watching and then returned to focussing on his submissive, he would perhaps of maintained his and my erection longer.

I get confused and caught up with considering how i would feel if my Dom were focussing on someone else and not us, id be miffed to say the least, and so feel i 'taking' from the sub. Something im not comfortable with.

Im completely new to this lifestyle of clubs, and so its very confusingly delightful right now. Im sure ill get the hang of it with practice eh.

As for you fastlane, if watching yourself in the mirror counts for you, then of COURSE it counts. Watching you would count for me, watching you watching me watching you wouldnt. lol

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 3:08:10 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		Thankyou Angel, you do get it dont you. (thanks for the validation)

I will be going out to a club this weekend, im sure it will provoke many questions surrounding voyeurism, so maybe more fruitful to discuss it then. when i know a little more of how i react, and if your suggestion was achievable.

A totally subserviant submissive, does solve the moral dilemma of consent, a bit of a thorn for me. Thankyou for this perspective.

pandoravampire

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help - 9/5/2005 3:30:48 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		Having somewhat voyueristic tendencies that normally get sated at various clubs. Vanilla porno doesn't do it for me I am bored within minutes. I was in London last year and a friend of mine said you have no porno films so I thought I better buy one, I looked for a BDSM one but they were all female Dommes and male subs and sorry that doesn't do anything for me,so I finished up buying one called the Osporns, a spoof on the Osbournes hoping it would be funny. Well the bloke playing Ozzy was brillent and I problay havn't seen more than 5 minutes of the sex scenes I keep fast forwarding to Ozzy laughing my arse off.

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 17
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Vouyerism? How, when, where? Help Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.297