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On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 1:10:40 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		I recently had the good fortune to view a profile by a lady who enjoys the role of Dominant. What was wholly refreshing about the profile was that the lady came across as a normal person who just happened to be dominant and there seeking her opposite.

I say refreshing, because of some of the ways some of the profiles are written on here, for example, ' You Dared to look at my profile ' and ' I have no time for you ' etc etc etc. Basically words of that type.

I do understand that this sort of thing does appeal to some people, both as a reader and a writer, but to me it smacks of the sort of small ad. one finds in the back of a newspaper, there along with the personal services peddlers.

Now with all this, I do feel it is making out Dommes to appear much of the same, something I hope is incorrect, as I do seek a lady who is firstly a real person, realistic and who might also be dominant.

Now that is my view on what I see, what may I ask of you, the Dommes, do you prefer to come across as your role first or as a person first?

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 1:17:22 PM   
DominaJayde


Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin


Now that is my view on what I see, what may I ask of you, the Dommes, do you prefer to come across as your role first or as a person first?


I hope I come across as a person first, as someone who also happens to be dominant, I know some dommes are 'always on' so to speak,  thats not me, I hope my boys don't JUST see me a domme, but also want to know the person underneath.

DJ



_____________________________

letting go is a freedom in itself
http://fetishfandango.blogspot.com/

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 1:17:29 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		From a subby point of view, I was more apt to viewing and writing to a Domme if her profile was more of an insight to who she was outside of the dominant role.  She may be a wonderful domme, but if she comes across as an egotistical, self-centered *%^#&, then I'm certainly not going to give her a second look.  I prefer to get to know the woman before I get to know the domme.  Mistress's profile was very down to earth when I first wrote to Her, and even though She had a few interests listed that I didn't share, I still wrote to Her.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 1:46:22 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I wanna be meeeeeeee......

That might be a part of an old song......or maybe it's "I gotta be meeee". I don't remember for sure because I think aliens have taken over my brain. BUT, I really want people to get to know ME as a human being first. I refuse to try and live up to someone's fantasy ideal. Dominant is just a personality trait I have, just a facet of the whole buggered up mess. It does not define my whole life.

Perhaps if I was selling a fantasy (nothing against that, just not my interest ) then I would have created my profile differently. However, I am not trying to sell anything. Just spend some time on the site, enjoy the company of a few people, meet some people, make some friends, and enjoy myself. Essentially, be me.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 2:27:18 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I do understand what you mean by the OP, but I would like to add some words about why some of the Domme profiles reflect what you've seen.  I happen to have some of what you described written in My profile, and I'll tell you why.

I'm very specific in My profile that I prefer not to be contacted by those who are too far away for any real interaction.  I have on there very clearly that if you need to use the words that a sub wants to relocate, please save the time and trouble.  I also mention that I am not interested in communication away from the site unless there has been some kind of friendship established here.  That's not to say that I don't very much enjoy chatting with the folks that have become friendly through the forums, because I like that very much.  It's My way of attempting to stop the relentless requests from people around the world who are after on line chat, electronic domination, and all sorts of other things that I have no interest in. 

So, while I've been told that one of My best qualities is how approachable I am, I do have those things in My profile.  It keeps My mail from getting too full of the things I just don't want.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 2:34:06 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		"You dared to look at my profile!" ??

My god, that's hilarious.  Why didn't I think of that? 

Are we allowed to make parody profiles here?  Suddenly I am dying to have a profile like a proper domme!



_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 2:41:01 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I'm just me, TammyJo, regardless of the venue or job or group.

I might turn up somethings or keep other things tamer but I'm still just me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 3:04:53 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am just me and frankly I don't care who looks at my profile. The only I do not like is getting wierd messages or Goddess forbid cock pics! Otherwise perv away at my profile I really do not care who looks at it.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 3:23:35 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		The textbook porn ads are on both side of the coin. The "You dare view my profile, now bow and worship before me for the priveledge of reading my poor grammar and spelling" profiles are matched by their submissive counterparts that run with the "I am unworthy to share the air with you, oh Goddess" types.
There has to be someone out there eatting it up, or they woudnt keep them that way.

Personally, I am just myself, and my profile more or less reflects that. I am a person and a dominant. I am not "in character" since it isnt a character for me, it just is who and what I am. It might come across differently depending on whom I talk to, but as popeye (the sailor not the CMer) said "I yam whos I yam". I dont see a reason to doll that up or dress it down for someone reading my profile. After all, if they are going to get to know me, they are going to find out all about me anyway, so deception in the profile to sell myself is self-defeating.

IMHO of course
DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 4:22:28 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		Well it is refreshing,(I like that word it fits adequately here), to see those that have answered my question are real people who put themselves before their role.

I do understand why an air of dominance is put on some profiles, as both 'Diurnal Vampire' and ' Lady Pact' have said, both people I have seen on here before and I know speak on the whole wise words formed with thought.That I have no problem with as I know there is a person in there, but some, especially late at night, it is akin to a scrolling back page of a seedy magazine, when the monetery vampires come out to play, I suppose for the people who are online after a skinful and in their uninhibited state, the desires are set forth and so engage anyone they find on here who might fit to stir the feelings inside.Towards and on the weekend is especially a good time to view that.

It did also occur that those of whom I speak, may possibly be the monetary vampire, people whom I know do not, should not represent the rest of you, but it does paint a bad light.

All of us on here are just people, people with kinks, we all have things that light our fire so to speak, but with me, as I suspect with the rest of you, I seek the person before the kink and though it may be nice to think of the kink with the person in question, it is not something I would venture to if I did not like that person.

Thankyou all for who have replied, it is 'refreshing', hahahahaha,(ugh, the word is stuck in my head now, I fear for where else I may post now, that might get a 'refreshing'attack, that is until the word passes by)

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 4:54:40 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Hmmm.  A tag-line is so important in a new profile.  Let's see.  "Give me your MONEY, worm..." 

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 5:58:16 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I also like ADD me to your Amex card!  Run with it, ShaktiSama!

Do these gals who come out and demand cash and prizes actually get them?  Because I want stuffs too!  I will even send nice thank you notes! 

I am myself, pretty much everywhere.  A human being who is the go-to person, the responsible one, and in this arena, a dominant.  Anyone who is expecting some fantasy creature is going to be sorely disappointed.  I can do role play really well, but it's just not fun, unless it's maybe Pinter or Mamet.  Love corsets and boots, don't wear them all the time.   I have a real job!  I do dishes!

Aneirin, from your "tone" you seem kind of amazed that female dominants are actual creatures.  Maybe it's just me.  :)  You don't seriously believe that those moneygrubbers are the common run of folk, do you?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 6:15:09 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		No I don't think they are representative of  you fine ladies, as I have had enough interaction with yourselves on these message boards to know different. But the picture they paint for another who might even be new to this or even one of the one handed keyboard typers that Dommes are all the same which brings disrespect, a person to perhaps be paid for.A mentality which is abusive to women.

I know of course there are real professional Dominatrixes who are a whole lot different, they write on the whole without the crap.

The monetary vampires do you no favours is all I am saying.




_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 7:03:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		You're right, they don't do us any favours, but they do make us laugh!  I think that those that fall under the "real twue" category will be able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 7:25:38 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		It for Me, is one in the same, being a Domina for Me is not a role it is all rolled up into who I am. Given that, I am a person and that is what people get--I am kind, funny, intelligent, and look as many of us do, like the Girl next door--because I am.  So I guess, what you see is what you get.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 8:38:04 PM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am myself and I take time to know the "vanilla" in submissives before I venture into anything else.  I am wary of those that want to begin by stating their kinks/fetishes.  I state that in my profile (about wanting to know the vanilla first) but most of the time it either isn't read or they didn't give a damn about what I said.  That is why I've YET to meet someone face to face from this site.  Wait a minute, I take that back...  I've met two!  One said I was, "like a friend" because I had compassion for him during a difficult time rather than make demands and spank his little ass and the other is a very polite "vanilla" guy that likes a little kink now and then.  He would have been better off posting a profile on Yahoo personals rather than here.

Faye

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: On domme profiles - 2/1/2008 8:41:10 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		First and foremost, I hope I come across as someone who hates the Patriots. 
The rest will figure itself out.


(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: On domme profiles - 2/2/2008 11:38:24 AM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

"You dared to look at my profile!" ??

My god, that's hilarious.  Why didn't I think of that? 

Are we allowed to make parody profiles here?  Suddenly I am dying to have a profile like a proper domme!




I was just thinking that. I was also considering making a "submissive" profile. Just to see the responses.

*runs along to do evil work*

Wouldn't that be crap though if every person who seemed interesting to you was actually teh same person...but with a hundred different profiles?

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: On domme profiles - 2/2/2008 12:20:14 PM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline 		*snort* One of the things I guess I have a problem with is the dichotomy of trying to explain myself. I'm an easily amused sadist & a really nicey-nice person. My Mommy taught me to play nicely, be polite to everyone, turn the other cheek, write in complete, grammatically correct sentences, never hurt anyone's feelings deliberately, etc. Darned difficult to reconcile that when you're trying to write a profile that makes a nice, submissive or slavish man want to cower at my feet & beggggggg to be abused! Even more difficult when so many of the men I'd like to cower would like to be humiliated at the same time. Gotta separate that wheat&chaff stuff somehow. I'm not very good at humiliation; more likely to stroke their hair & tell them in a cooing voice what good boys they are; then tell them very sweetly that they need to clean up the blood now! Oh all right...maybe more sweat & tears then blood most times, but you get the idea!
Lady Cat

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: On domme profiles - 2/2/2008 12:34:22 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		People are here on collarme for different reasons.  Some are here for the forums, and could care less what their profile says (if they have one.)  Others are here for play, and their profile likely reflects who they are in the context of BDSM and D/s (or whatever their chosen play modality is.)  Some are here seeking a relationship, and their profile might reflect more about who they are as a person because in a relationship both the vanilla and kink count alot more.  And there are folks here who are really just here, maybe learning and seeing what's out there, or just here to find friends.  Their profiles will likely also reflect who they are as a person.....or maybe not.

Ultimately, what does it matter?  You'll respond to the profiles of the people you most align yourself with anyhow.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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