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He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 1:57:04 PM

takenbyjohnr07

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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What does it take for you to realize that your Dominant is just not that into you? If that is the case.Do you stay with them, because you are not aware of his/Her lack of feelings or, because you don't want to be alone, or because you're one of these people who need to hear "Get out and never come back" before they realize something is wrong.

i see quite a few threads on here where it is so apparent that the sub is not wanted, yet the sub isn't sure or doesn't want to see it. It's sad, especially if you are in love with the person that may not want you anymore. .

So, do you think it's kinder to give the person subtle hints in hopes that they will walk away gracefully with as little hurt as possible? Or what method would you like to have done to you if you were in a negative situation. Which i hope that no one ever has to go through.

i would want to be let down easily, for at least that means he might have some kind feelings towards me.

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i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 2:08:07 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

What does it take for you to realize that your Dominant is just not that into you?

Well, if his penis is quite small, or it's one of Diane's broken strapons,
I find myself quickly engaged in the thought.

chia* (the pet)

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Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 2:09:51 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

Hopefully the relationship has been discussed long before "the walk" signal turns green. Open and honest communication all the time, from the very beginning, every day, in every situation will help two people know where they stand with each other. If there is the closeness that is usually required in a relationship, there should be nothing they can't talk about. No need to get upset and start ranting, no need to get defensive and pouty, just to talk openly and calmly and decide together what to do. Then do it.

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There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 2:52:42 PM

tricia

Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

i see quite a few threads on here where it is so apparent that the sub is not wanted, yet the sub isn't sure or doesn't want to see it. It's sad, especially if you are in love with the person that may not want you anymore. .

I found this statement to be quite interesting. Your 'measuring stick' might be quite different then my own. I don't think other peoples relationships can be judged by a mere few sentences posted here.

Personally, my Owner isn't a subtle hint kind of guy. If he didn't 'want' me anymore, he would tell me. I see any other way as a sign of weakness.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

Open and honest communication all the time, from the very beginning, every day, in every situation will help two people know where they stand with each other.

This would kill my relationship. He has no desire to discuss every single thing. And sometimes, he actually thinks it's better NOT to know what i'm thinking. :) I guess some would say he is just not that into me.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 2:53:02 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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Depends on the situation. Sometimes trying to let someone down easy just doesn't work. Sometimes a person will cling to any hope, any shred of half-baked evidence that they should stay. Sometimes you have to spell it out in terms that are clear, harsh and hurt.

I would hope that people would care about me enough to say what they think they need to say to make me see the truth. Because the longer I stay, the worse it's going to get and the more it's going to hurt in the long run. If that hurts me, oh well. I'll live.

Edited to add: Since you are talking about people here that you think aren't wanted, my suggestion would be to first consider if your defination of wanted is different than theirs. Remember, in their relationship your defination doesn't matter - only theirs does. People can feel wanted and be happy in relationships where they aren't loved. Some subs want that dynamic and it's not an act of desperation. Some people follow the school of thought that you can not dominate someone you love.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 2/1/2008 2:55:46 PM >

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(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 3:37:25 PM

kaiko

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For myself, the only thing that would sit right with me would be if he released me. If he is not interested sexually; so be it. If he can find no use for my service otherwise; I fail to see why he would want to keep me in service; so release would be the most obvious option. It would hurt me, for the obvious reasons; but I would not want to be in a relationship that my uses were not utilized in some small way.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 4:06:10 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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A lot of subs fear shame and of being labeled "not true" if they end the relationship and "act dominant" by choosing their fate. And they are so desparate to be IN A RELATIONSHIP and not ready to face their own fault judgement that they cling to the past no matter how much it hurts rather than delve within and change things.

For me if I am really into someone, I keep trying. I keep asking if they want to go out or want to do stuff- I always respect when they say no, but I'll still ask. Until they tell me they just don't want to continue the relationship anymore. Then I stop.

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 4:16:22 PM

ThinkingKitten

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Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
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I'd walk away. It's simple really, based purely on "why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?"

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Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

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RE: He/She is just not into you - 2/1/2008 4:25:41 PM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

Be honest...be considerate...be compassionate...

Do not speak with malice, spite or any other type of cruelty, and the other will appreciate the honesty.
If they can't, that is their issue.

~Always the gleeful one~

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)

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