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RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/6/2005 4:03:53 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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greenie,

There are times when my Lord plays with me that I become quite aggressive. He is a sadist and enjoys pushing His bottoms. In play, I am free to behave in any manner that I wish and I have done some of the things you have described. The first time my Lord and I played in public, I hit the wall in front of me many times, I screamed, cursed at Him, told Him I hated Him, cried, kicked… There are probably other things that I do not recall. Afterwards, I had a difficult time mentally. In fact, it took me several weeks to process everything that happened that night. I have come to accept that what happens during that kind of primal play is okay, it is accepted by my Lord and He gets great pleasure from it.

In our plays since then, I have felt much freer to just react and enjoy what my Lord is doing. When He played with me in the cage, despite being restrained, I ripped falls off of His flogger, tried to tear the crop out of His hand, tried to grab Him by the balls, cursed at Him and cried. Other times, I have slapped Him, pulled His hair and punched Him. Through most of it He has just laughed and that has helped in accepting my behavior.

For me play is a chance to let go and just enjoy the ride my Lord wants to take me on. I enjoy the pain; I enjoy being pushed and challenged; I enjoy how powerful it makes me feel. Most always, the thought in my head at the end is "why is He stopping?" But it only remains a thought because usually I am unable to speak at that point.

Knight's kyra

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Post #: 21

RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/6/2005 10:54:45 PM

greenie

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Joined: 7/24/2005
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it was like that at the end for me also "why is He stopping". Here i had been gritting my teeth, cussing, pounding my feet and hands and then when it was over i didn't want to stand up but continue bending over the chair. On one hand i was glad He was done but on the other i liked being that angry...weird.

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RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/7/2005 12:54:29 AM

klptrainerslave

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/5/2005
From: Fresno/ Sacramento
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iv learned that i love the pain that happens after then beating not the beating its self i hate it and i have fought it and normal get that look when you know your in troble and makes you want to go hide in a deep hole... well when hes finished i dont want him to stop though... i want more but i still hate it.. but i have never got angry i assciate my pain with please i think thats why i can get over it.

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RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/7/2005 5:36:42 AM

Dr24

Posts: 25
Joined: 9/5/2005
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Maybe the problem is the kinda pain that is being inflicted on you? OR perhaps even the place? I know if I get slapped on the side of my thigh it hurts like mad and I wanna get up and smack my boi but he couls hit me twice as hard across the face and it would make me so wet!! Also I love being slapped and throttled but I hate being caned, I love being slapped with a paddle but hate riding crops .. it maybe has to do with your pain sensors and where you are most sensitive or maybe its to do with the dom not knwoing how to build up that pain intensity .. I mean you cant just bring out a whip and beat the shit putta someone you gotta be turned on and built up the moment .. when being hit with an object you gotta also build that pain up slowly then harder each time . thats my take on it - I dunno??

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RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/7/2005 9:36:28 AM

greenie

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after a few times of testing out different areas we found that the spots just above my thighs on my lower buttocks is the area that feels good...at least in the beginning lol. after a few whacks in those spots though that's when it starts to hurt, doesn't matter which tool is being used. my breasts are tooo sensitive to pain (hard to believe i made it through nipple piercings lol), upper area of my ass is all pain and no pleasure, and heaven forbid it lands on the hips. Back and inside of thighs is like lower buttocks, hurts after a few whacks.
i'm in no way ready to give up since i'm getting a major high off of the adrenaline lol, just wish it had more pleasure to go with it. We're still experimenting which leaves me with much hope.

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RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/7/2005 4:48:22 PM

Dracironsgirl

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Joined: 7/2/2005
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for me it was an adjustment of sorts in the way that i sometimes confused real hurt with pleasure pain. first time Master flogged me i got angry and cried because i thought He meant to do me harm. He explained the difference between the two and since then i havent had any problems ....oh how the dragon tail stings tho ~whew~

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Post #: 26

RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/7/2005 4:54:52 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

mixed feelings?

yeah. i know. me too.
but the really good thing here is Mistress actually got me to cry finally.
i am not a pain puppy nor do i want pain but i got a chance to release...and it felt good,..despite embarrassment about crying as a man.

wolf

the same happened for me ....i think i had to deal with some past issues surrounding pain in order to know the differencs ..but that's just me.

~kristin

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RE: mixed feelings about pain - 9/7/2005 5:05:32 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
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i thought i was the only one with pain issues, reading the posts has really been helpful for me ....i thank you all

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Post #: 28