Practicing Excellence

Practicing Excellence (Full Version)

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crouchingtigress -> Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 6:45:58 AM)
So much of BDSM is resonates with my soul. I love the sex obviously, but i also love the rules and the order, i love the opportunity for growth and development of character, i love the ability to use wiitwd to explore forbidden parts of the psyche, i love that for me structure and exploration applied to any issue or wounding you can heal it, i love sex magic, in fact there has not been anything i haven't loved save for one or two activity's that are not my bag. I think that one of the things i like most though is an opportunity to practice excellence...practicing excellence is not the same thing as achieving excellence...but just being able to practice it, really feels amazing in my being. I can and do practice it with freinds, customers, and strangers and all of that, but to practice it in a BDSM dynamic is very fulfilling to me because of the direct intimate feedback, and also because when stewarding another, and really embracing the responsibility of their trust in you, it pushes you to the extreme in excellence, at least it does in me. I also enjoy practicing it when i sub, i enjoy being appreciated for going the extra mile, i enjoy pushing myself beyond what i think i am capable mentally spiritually and physically, i enjoy living up to and surpassing a commitment i have made to another person. This post is a bit rambling and for that i apologize, i have never been great at posting about things i want to talk about, but i guess what i am trying to begin a discussion about, is practicing excelence... Do you practice excellence? What does that look like? Do you do it consciously in unison with your partner, as a combined effort?

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 6:59:30 AM)
i loved your post. i try to live my life in the same fashion. it comes naturally to me and gives me a wonderful feeling.

KatyLied -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 7:06:26 AM)
I wouldn't say I practice excellence, it probably depends on the task at hand and how committed I am to it and my partner, some things flow easier than others. What I do enjoy and crave on some level is oversight. I miss having it in my life and look forward to having it again at some point. There is something poetic for me in a dominant taking time out of his day to order me and set expectations for me. It also makes me do things that are good for me that I normally would put off and make excuses for not doing. So for me, being a submissive is about serving a partner, but also about striving, for myself, on a personal level, inside and outside of the relationship.

TracyTaken -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 7:50:22 AM)
I practice excellence in some things: school is one thing. I'm pretty obssessive when restoring - I love planning and organizing. The perfect dinner, the perfect evening, the perfect bathroom sink, etc. Not so much in D/s though. I'd like to excel in being more what he would like me to be - sparkling house, a blow job every morning, car always clean (I, personally, think that the dirt protects the paint job [;)]), great at house-training puppies, loves to target practice with big, noisy guns that hurt my hand, etc. But I'm not so good at somethings.

TysGalilah -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 8:09:19 AM)
{I also enjoy practicing it when i sub, i enjoy being appreciated for going the extra mile, i enjoy pushing myself beyond what i think i am capable mentally spiritually and physically, i enjoy living up to and surpassing a commitment i have made to another person. Yes, I feel this way too. Since about age 30, I can't seem to get enough knowledge..and I crave experiences and experiencing things. Love to read and love to have my notion of limitations pushed and encouraged to stretch further. I think this feeds directly into part of what I get from serving another and responding to the authoritative command of someone who is directing me higher, above, beyond, further...to express more of myself. Do you practice excellence? I have to be very careful of this. I have always been a people-pleaser, but for years did it to the detriment of myself and without regard to my own needs. I have tried very hard to learn a healthier way of serving and being pleasing and caring > without leaving myself out of that equation. So expecting myself to be perfect is a knee-jerk reaction that I need to always temper> "excellent" is a trigger word for me. So, while I agree that I want to do my best always> I am not perfect and some things I will do with excellence and some things I will just do my best at....and that needs to be enough for me. What does that look like? Not sure I understand the question. when I am working my hardest and giving something my best effort > feel like I have and show pride in myself...smile more ..hold my head up ..tend to be motivated to do even more and have energy both physical and emotional. Do you do it consciously in unison with your partner, as a combined effort? }Tyson understands what I have worked through ( mentioned above ) and so actually he is probably not as demanding of me as I am of myself, when it comes to achieving excellence. He is very verbal and demonstrative when it comes to showing his appreciation for my efforts...I slurp that right up LOL My perfectionism ( when tempered ) can really be as asset when serving and submitting imo

crouchingtigress -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 8:31:20 AM)
tysgalilah, i wonder what happened at 30 that awoken a ravenous appatite for knowledge in you? i am also curious about the word excelent being a trigger, because for me i know that i love the word because it seems to me that it is not as limiting or defining as the word perfect...the word excellence is fluid, and poetic in a way that perfect is not. katy, i liked what you said about over site, i mulled on that word for a while...savoring it...oversite...sight over...i like the word...for me that word is stewardship.... tracy, it sounds to me as though you are practicing it, on some levels in your d/s just not defining it conciously as such...what do you think?

KatyLied -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 8:44:42 AM)
I like the word stewardship too.

laurell3 -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 8:54:09 AM)
Actually later in life I have learned many of my frustations come from seeking perfection which is unattainable. I work at practicing acceptance although I always seek to excel. For me, the greater struggle is learning that imperfection and sometimes even mediocrity is acceptable for human beings as well. The partners I have had have discovered this tendency and usually encourage me to merely be rather than focusing on standards. But then again, if you haven't noticed yet I'm weird [;)].

TracyTaken -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 8:57:26 AM)
quote: tracy, it sounds to me as though you are practicing it, on some levels in your d/s just not defining it conciously as such...what do you think? You are right. A lot of what I do is about pleasing him. A lot of it is about pleasing me. In my mind's eye, I see a version of me where pleasing him is more heavily weighted. He would love that too, not that he's complaining now though. It's not so much about BD, sexual things, etc., as it is a mindset I would like to strengthen in myself. So there's "self-discipline" in there too. That word is not one of my favorites, lol.

KatyLied -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 8:59:46 AM)
quote: But then again, if you haven't noticed yet I'm weird . You are appropriately weird. (it is a compliment)

laurell3 -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 9:03:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: But then again, if you haven't noticed yet I'm weird . You are appropriately weird. (it is a compliment) Thanks!

kallisto -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 9:11:54 AM)
The old saying that practice makes perfect is correct I believe. Wanting to and pushing yourself to excel in things you do and feel benefits yourself and those around you. Of course achieving excellence is always the goal. But the road to getting there can be one of a great life, if you practice it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 9:57:34 AM)
As a perfectionist control freak who's gone from overly burned out crispy fritter and back again at least twice, I can say I've worked hard to maintain a balance of NOT always practicing excellence and taking perspective. I can say that the element of surprise, when you can do that little or big thing that has just the right twist to show you really have been paying attention and really do want to make a difference, yeah I totally get off on that.

TysGalilah -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 11:30:37 AM)
{tysgalilah, i wonder what happened at 30 that awoken a ravenous appatite for knowledge in you? You asked a straight up question, I will give you a straight up answer> I came out from underneath the cloud of a food addiction. Worked a 12step program that began a quest inside myself..and eventually outwardly a journey of learning. I began fascinated with what makes me tick..what makes you tick...etc..I felt a whole new world of insight, feelings and emotions had been opened up to me and it continues. i am also curious about the word excelent being a trigger, because for me i know that i love the word because it seems to me that it is not as limiting or defining as the word perfect...the word excellence is fluid, and poetic in a way that perfect is not. }Hm..well, trying to avoid the " its my fathers fault " reasoning...because that is not my intent with this explanation...BUT excellent is a trigger word for me because, growing up, I was always expected to excel. Nothing less was acceptable..or tolerated ,and to excel, brought affirmation from him ( reads = love )...If I didn't ( reads = failed ) it meant rejection from him. so ...In order to break that cycle I retrained myself to value the effort of trying my best at some things that I might not do perfectly, as much as I value the ease in which I can do some things with excellence. Simple answer : Excel and perfect are too similar as I process them emotionally. Thanks for asking Tigress : )

robertolapiedra -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 2:25:24 PM)
quote: This post is a bit rambling and for that i apologize, i have never been great at posting about things i want to talk about, but i guess what i am trying to begin a discussion about, is practicing excelence... Hello crouchingtigress. Great post! You can ramble all you want as I love this stuff. I find you refreshing. Excellent! RL. Edit: typo

azropedntied -> RE: Practicing Excellence (2/2/2008 3:01:38 PM)
To put it simple , I try and be the best me I can be in all forms of my life . I notice a higher standard of manners ,respect ,and honorable actions and deeds through not only my life but many others in bdsm ,D/s .Take a look around in your daily dealings with the public .Just how many times do people use please and thank you ,get a door as you enter a mall or store ,if you drop or spill say the contents of a handbag do people come over and help or just pass you by ?I dropped some notebooks last week and not one offered to help ,maybe due to me being male i dunno .I allow people to jump ahead of me in store lines if they have a single item .I have waved people through in traffic with looks of bewilderment from the other drivers .I try to help others in BDSM that wish help and guidance , just as i also seek out expanding my own growth too .No matter how many years days weeks decades this has been a part of me there is always something new i can learn and grow from .I make my mistakes and yet i learn and grow from them , though not always on the first try .Sometimes the universe bonks those life lessons that need to be repeated over my head a few times before i get it .But i am always striving for betterment and i keep reaching for that best me that i hope i am becoming . "This is one extreme coaster ride of life ,i just have an unlimited ride pass , and keep on getting in line taking the ride "

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