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kuriousreturns -> Introducing myself (2/2/2008 10:46:37 AM)
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Hello, i am a newbie to Collarme and am introducing myself here for the first time. i registered about a week ago and have spent some time observing in different chatrooms, reading some of the forum postings, and exchanging a few emails with other site members - trying to get a "feel" for the site.
my interest in the BDSM Lifestyle began a few years ago (detailed in my profile) and i've spent a great deal of studying/learning online by reading, observing, and chatting with O/others; i have very little real-life experience. Much of this time was spent under the guidance of a Mentor, but i have been on my own for quite some time now. my primary interests are the social and psychological foundation or structure of D/s roles and relationship; my secondary interest is the sexual aspects of BDSM.
i am currently in a long-term vanilla relationship; my partner has known since the beginning of our relationship that i have an interest in BDSM, but i've only recently begun sharing details with him. For the longest time, i've thought that he would disapprove of my interests; and now i've learned that he has no opinion either way because he has absolutely no knowledge of BDSM is. i've discovered that he is very open-minded and curious to learn more about the sexual activities involved with BDSM, and he is really throwing himself into actively exploring. We've not yet discussed the roles of Dominant and submissive personalities, nor have we discussed the non-sexual or psychological aspects of the Lifestyle. He is looking toward me as a "teacher" which is difficult because it's not my strong point, and i've always thought that teaching is a Dominant-role responsibility.
i have joined Collarme with the intention of continuing my education of the Lifestyle; i can learn quite alot by reading, observing, and chatting with O/others. It's very common for me to ask questions, and i always hope for quality feedback from various viewpoints. i don't believe that there is any right or wrong answer, as it is my opinion that the Lifestyle is customizable upon each individual's wants and needs.
i treat my online interactions the same as i would in real life (re: attitude, behavior, actions, etc) and so i quite frequently seek advice from O/others regarding various "how to" topics. An example of this would be how to react if someone says/does something i am uncomfortable with or that my partner would disapprove of; many people tell me to use the ignore feature, and there are times when i do - but in many situations, i will express my thoughts and feelings to the O/other involved and try to resolve the issue. i try not to take an aggressive/angry stance, as this is a personality trait that i have been working to tame; but sometimes i need advice on polite ways to handle a situation.
That's about all i can think of for an introduction; many thanks to A/all for taking time to read this.
kurious
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