RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (Full Version)

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MeliciousProse -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:14:32 PM)

That's also an unnecessary comment which neither helps or gives advice.  Thanks.



MissHarlet -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:15:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MeliciousProse

During our last conversation, girl told Him that if He felt smothered, than she would allow HIm to come back to her.  He hasn't.  He hasn't even tried.  He hasn't even made a half-assed attempt at even thinking about contacting this girl. 



That to me is your answer .........and did you mean you would ALLOW him to come back to you .. or would wait for him to come back to you ??  If he has not .. I would take it to mean that he choses not to .. and would suggest you move on with your life ... as has been said before ... it sounds as if he is just not that into you ..... you are not a priority in his life.



MeliciousProse -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:16:07 PM)

You're right.  I don't want to let go.  And it is the twenty-first century and I could very well call any time I wanted.  HOWEVER...and I don't know how much clearer I can make this...the ball's in His court.  He wanted space and I gave it to Him.  It's His decision within the next week which will make or break my decision.



PrizedPosession -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:16:18 PM)

i'm inclined to agree with LA, just talk with him. Maybe he has cold feet? Or his UM's need him? There is a list of things that could be happening so just asking can't hurt. And just be patient like you said.
It will be ok just wait. It will work out how it should...

-bobcat



fluffyswitch -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:17:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MeliciousProse

You're right.  I don't want to let go.  And it is the twenty-first century and I could very well call any time I wanted.  HOWEVER...and I don't know how much clearer I can make this...the ball's in His court.  He wanted space and I gave it to Him.  It's His decision within the next week which will make or break my decision.


i guess i'm confused then, and i mean that literally and with all respect. it sounds like you've already made your decision. then what's the issue? if he's not going to call he's not going to call.



MistressOfGa -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:19:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyswitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

And while I hope this doesn't offend, I don't appreciate the remark about my age.  I may be only twenty-one, but I'm not a complete moron. 


I didn't mention your age. I am unsure as to what you are talking about.
 
MoGa




someone else posted something about a 21 year old and wanting to know how old the master in question was.



Thanks Fluffy,
JAWS must have missed that one [8|][8|] This is why I need a houseboy!
 
MoGa



swtnsparkling -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:26:08 PM)

quote:

That's also an unnecessary comment which neither helps or gives advice. 


Hotdam I thought it would have helped-   I'm no Dom but if any "sub" especialy mine spoke to me the way you are in this thread I'd not call her again either.

You told him
You allow
You think a week is sufficent

Whos is the dom in this relationship? 



fluffyswitch -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:28:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

That's also an unnecessary comment which neither helps or gives advice. 


Hotdam I thought it would have helped-   I'm no Dom but if any "sub" especialy mine spoke to me the way you are in this thread I'd not call her again either.

You told him
You allow
You think a week is sufficent

Whos is the dom in this relationship? 



well...as an outsider with a similar mindset i'd say that it might be a matter of compatibility, at least in terms of the time issue. i literally don't have time waiting for anyone, dominant or otherwise, to decide if they want to play ball with me. i just don't. i'm more concerned with the communication breakdown here.



yetanotherspanko -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:30:58 PM)

Hi there,

From a guy's perspective, I'd suggest move on. Sounds like he doesn't appreciate/want you, and you're better off finding someone who does. It's pretty much impossible to change a guy's mind on whether he wants to go further or not--we tend to make our decisions within several encounters and, barring serious misunderstandings, it tends to stick. "Smothering" is code for "you're not what he's really looking for"--he may know what he really wants, or he may not. He's not flat out disappearing because 1) he does not have the courage to be honest about it, 2) he's worried you will react in an irrational manner, or 3) he still wants your attention even if he doesn't want to commit to you. Whatever the reason, you can do better.

I'd recommend that, instead of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, you move on and find someone who appreciates you, including the parts that aren't going to change anytime soon. Hard to do, but well worth it in the long run.

Best of luck!



charmdpetKeira -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:31:30 PM)

I wish I could be optimistic, thing is; you are saying things, as they were, were not going as you hoped/need, and just when you think they will get better; it gets worse.
 
Truth be told, I don’t think you’re buying his story, without resolving that, the situation is most likely to only get worse.
 
As for the immediate problem, it seems as though you have a plan already.
 
Best wishes,
 
k



swtnsparkling -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:42:55 PM)

Hi fluff

I understand about time. I think she said they had covered all that .
It is certainly something I'd want to know up front.

I was looking at the speak- thinking if that is the way she is on phone or rt with him
maybe he just said fuck this

I'm just thinking outloud and typing it up   [:)]



fluffyswitch -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:44:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

Hi fluff

I understand about time. I think she said they had covered all that .
It is certainly something I'd want to know up front.

I was looking at the speak- thinking if that is the way she is on phone or rt with him
maybe he just said fuck this

I'm just thinking outloud and typing it up   [:)]


yeah that's true too.



RedMagic1 -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 8:49:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
I was looking at the speak- thinking if that is the way she is on phone or rt with him
maybe he just said fuck this

That was my first hit, but I didn't want to say it out loud.  I'm glad you did.

Melicious, if you're still around, it can be a helluva drag to try to understand someone who is intentionally incomprehensible.  Call the dude and talk clearly, like a person who is communicating something important, or go live the rest of your life.



MissMagnolia -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 9:15:11 PM)

I'm with some other posters. You're kinda aggressive. In the way you speak about him, and in reply to the people who spent the time to give you a response. Maybe your attitude is what's keeping him away. It would keep me away, if I was the type to put up with that crap. Which I'm not.

There could be a billion reasons why he needs space. He could be sick, he could have money troubles, he could have problems with friends, like I said, a billion reasons. Have you thought that maybe you ARE actually smothering him? That's often nothing to do with how much time people spend together. You might smother him when you are together though, and it just isn't what he wants.



charmdpetKeira -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 9:15:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
I was looking at the speak- thinking if that is the way she is on phone or rt with him
maybe he just said fuck this

That was my first hit, but I didn't want to say it out loud.  I'm glad you did.



quote:

He expects, -coughs- me to speak like that.  It's something He wanted to work on with me.



domiguy -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 9:21:25 PM)

Kind of cool...Ya get to see someone maybe once a week ...and you get to own them...Cool. I haven't seen them in two weeks and spoke to them in three days.

I think I have found something better to do with my time.



RedMagic1 -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 9:26:08 PM)

Not the point, Keira.  She talking like the boss, and playing at being the underling.  Others have noted this too.  Mixed signals lead to lack of clarity.  It's irrelevant if she speaks in third person or the Royal We.



charmdpetKeira -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 9:36:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Not the point, Keira.  She talking like the boss, and playing at being the underling.  Others have noted this too.  Mixed signals lead to lack of clarity.  It's irrelevant if she speaks in third person or the Royal We.



Ahhhh... my bad.
 
My sympathies lie in the fact I have dealt with similar situations, though choose to handle them differently; misdirected perhaps.
 
k 



Stephann -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 10:26:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MeliciousProse

You're right.  I don't want to let go.  And it is the twenty-first century and I could very well call any time I wanted.  HOWEVER...and I don't know how much clearer I can make this...the ball's in His court.  He wanted space and I gave it to Him.  It's His decision within the next week which will make or break my decision.


Apologies in advance for the needle.

My slave knows clearly (ringing ears, constant stinging of the nostrils, tattoos on her hands clearly) that if I want her company, I will keep her in it.  If I don't, I won't.  If your man isn't willing to communicate with you, you need to make a new assessment of how important it is to you to remain involved with him.  If you're looking for a pat on the back as you erase his number, you've got plenty already.   It doesn't matter if that makes you a good/bad/purple person, it matters that you're happy with the choices you've made in the still of the moment.

It's really, really ok to be frustrated/scared/angry/hurt at your guy for how this is going down.  He's the man in charge, so if things go bust, it's on his ass.  It's also way OK to express how you feel.  What isn't so ok, on my end, is that you've seemed to paint him as the asshole-he-might-be.     You heard him tell you that you're smothering him and three days after you've both agreed that he needs some space, you're pissed at him for taking it.  It's like if I told my slave she can have a bowl of ice cream, and then get pissed at her for eating ice cream.

If you matter to him, he'll make sure you know it.  If you don't, you'll know that in due course soon.  I know that if I were on the other side of the lash, I wouldn't be kneeling on rice for two weeks waiting for the phone to ring.

Stephan



CalifChick -> RE: A Little Broken--A Very Touchy Question (2/2/2008 10:51:20 PM)

If someone has been fine with the amount of contact, then suddenly change their mind when the amount of contact has not changed, then I am usually under the impression that "I need space, you're smothering me" means they're exercising other options.  If his time is spent with another "option", then that's where his attention is.

Cali



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