RE: Sever or withdraw

RE: Sever or withdraw (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/4/2008 7:23:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: exquisitefeline1 i have been watching my rat, her cage is set up so as she can enter and leave as she wishes, yet she only comes out of the cage when the door is opened and she climbs on to my hand. *Why should she not leave, and run free with the wild rats, if she is capable?* She is caged, but not captive, she feels safe in her nest. i have come to a resolution. Comparing yourself to an animal of lower intelligence will get you treated like one. You're a human being unless you yourself choose to be an animal, and treated like one. quote: It is not my place to feel i deserve more than what i get, Master decides what i deserve. It is not my job to think, Master thinks. It is not my place to harm myself... It is my place to serve, love and nurture, and with that understanding i am submissive, and not enslaved. Glad you've decided not to hurt yourself but if you're not enslaved, yet you feel you have no rights to anything, you're just kidding yourself. If you don't feel you deserve more, than you'll never get more, stop being a puppet for any force in your life to pull willy-nilly where it may. Be it your owner or your mood swings of mania, 'take control of your life' doesn't mean being un-subby it means being responsible to yourself. If you have no expectations for your life or your partner, then don't be surprised when you're unhappy.

exquisitefeline1 -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/4/2008 5:23:25 PM)
Thanks. i do not equate myself as animal, excepting that humans are animals also. i am in control of my life, i have occasional momentary lapses of emotional turmoil, which does not equate to mania, trust me i have tried to have my foibles diagnosed into mania, etc, only practitioners do not agree. Why is it in the kink world that self harm is considered more manic than having someone else do it? Why does the profile i created for a self harming masochist gets outstanding attention from male dominants, comparative to my real profile? We are all puppets in society, excepting the few who own the strings. Expectations lead to disappointment, and unhappiness, this doesn't mean i dont have standards and goals. Understanding, acceptance and love, a change in focus and attitude has changed his attitude, as a Dominant he amplifies my beliefs of myself.

TracyTaken -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/4/2008 5:31:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: exquisitefeline1 It is not my place to feel i deserve more than what i get, Master decides what i deserve. It is not my job to think . . . If not thinking is your job, you are doing a bang-up job. You might want to consider getting a different job.

liminalRapture -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/4/2008 7:35:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: exquisitefeline1 It is not my place to feel i deserve more than what i get, Master decides what i deserve. It is not my job to think, Master thinks. It is not my place to harm myself... It is my place to serve, love and nurture, and with that understanding i am submissive, and not enslaved. Well, I'm a submissive (if I am even that--given that I keep meeting men who seem to think about me the way you think about yourself, I start to wonder where in the world I belong, but that's a different story). However, I think this is not a healthy way to live. Sweetie--the idea that you don't get to (or shouldn't) think for yourself is out of a fantasy novel. If it gets you off on it, go for it. In real life, though, this is only going to get you abused and beaten down. I was with a man for a year that said "you have no needs--your only needs should be met by fulfilling mine" and I kept saying "but, I do have needs." And he'd say "you shouldn't." Now we were really good friends on the vanilla level, and we were good roommates, so I stayed, thinking I could make it work. By the end of the year, I pretty much hated sex. I hated being hit. I was having regular panic attacks. And his anger just made me feel like shit about myself. (His anger wasn't real--he liked me scared and he liked anger with eros, but I felt it on a cellular level; it was toxic for me.) I'm glad you are going to stop hurting yourself. But that is only on a physical level. Stop hurting yourself on an emotional one as well.

sexyred1 -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/4/2008 8:32:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TracyTaken quote: ORIGINAL: exquisitefeline1 It is not my place to feel i deserve more than what i get, Master decides what i deserve. It is not my job to think . . . If not thinking is your job, you are doing a bang-up job. You might want to consider getting a different job. That is a great line. OP, seriously, you came into the thread saying you are being hurt emotionally and got serious advice. Now you just decided to accept being hurt emotionally as if that is part and parcel of being submissive. It's not. Everyone in any time of relationship deserves to have all their needs met, unless your deepest need is to be deprived, then the relationship is perfect for you.

exquisitefeline1 -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/5/2008 1:33:23 AM)
It made me laugh also. "Everyone in any time of relationship deserves to have all their needs met, unless your deepest need is to be deprived, then the relationship is perfect for you." Not all our needs can be met at any one time by any one relationship, this is why we have friends, relatives etc. i guess i should be thinking of the significant needs that compel us to have an intimate relationship. Intimacy and sex is special and important, but fundamentally love, security and communication is what keeps the magic, and what makes that relationship special comparative to others.

breatheasone -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/5/2008 12:28:01 PM)
To exquisitefeline1 This is a train wreck wanting to happen...If you are hell bent on ignoring the GOOD advice you have gotten why bother?.....I mean you made it obvious its not your "job to think" and that comes a crossed clear as a bell.

pineapplesub -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/5/2008 7:36:46 PM)
I'm confused. You state that you are enslaved by your own emotions to someone who will not own you. I'm pretty sure those are your exact words. Do you mean that you are interested in him, and he is unwilling to actually have a relationship with you? And I have been to counseling several times. I find that if I just find a therapist I'm comfortable with, I'll bring up that I'm involved in "deviant" relationships... but maybe I just have good luck in therapists.

Kalista07 -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/5/2008 11:55:57 PM)
Obviously there is a need for me to preface this post by saying: i'm not intentionally coming off as a bitch here and that is not what i'm trying to accomplish (yes...yes...yes... i know, it's not something i even work at these days).... Op, it's time to grow up!!!! Seriously, You have gotten some good and supportive feedback from fine people on this site... i however, can not coddle you...i find you to be blatantly using your self mutilation issues as attention seeking, and that's something that is just dispicable in my opinion....My advice (for what it's worth) get the fuck out of the relationship (i don't care if You have to physically leave and got to a shelter) and get Yourself into a good therapist.... Then, after a year of no relationships and hard work on Yourself, come back....give it another go....Until then, i think by participating in this thread i am somehow contributing to your demise.

exquisitefeline1 -> RE: Sever or withdraw (2/6/2008 3:11:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 Obviously there is a need for me to preface this post by saying: i'm not intentionally coming off as a bitch here and that is not what i'm trying to accomplish (yes...yes...yes... i know, it's not something i even work at these days).... Op, it's time to grow up!!!! Seriously, You have gotten some good and supportive feedback from fine people on this site... i however, can not coddle you...i find you to be blatantly using your self mutilation issues as attention seeking, and that's something that is just dispicable in my opinion....My advice (for what it's worth) get the fuck out of the relationship (i don't care if You have to physically leave and got to a shelter) and get Yourself into a good therapist.... Then, after a year of no relationships and hard work on Yourself, come back....give it another go....Until then, i think by participating in this thread i am somehow contributing to your demise. On the 2nd i started the thread, read through the responses, and allowed the nerves to be hit and find where i felt defensive, responded to something, rambled about others, looked at my own behavior, looked at his, sifted through feelings, and thoughts, didn't think, thought more, felt more, felt nothing, spoke with friends. Then the last 2 days i walked, i mean literally, i walk around the neighborhood, and through the forest, slowly detaching myself, slowly unthreading the cords, imagining he was gone forever and how i felt, morned a little... had dinner and a long hug with a friend, and felt the love. That is where i am at now, oh and guess what, i even was able to cut vegetables, without cutting myself, hooray for me! Attention seeking? Oh yeah that is why i anonymously talk about it on the net, and not run around lifting my top showing everyone... the only ppl who know about it, are everyone who has read this thread, oh and my Master who sees me naked, and couple of hawk eyes who happened to catch a glimpse. Thanks for your contribution Kali, much appreciated, i had a few friends like you once hmmm i wonder where they went, oh thats right i put my hand up when they knocked on my door...if anywhere i thought a BDSM site would be a place of understanding pain, emotional and physical. Thanks for everyone who gave advice, sorry i am still processing, i guess my internal operating system is like a mac thats why it takes so long, crashes a number of times, then takes so fucking long to start up again... right now i might just force quit everything and restart...

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625