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suessub -> RE: both new (2/4/2008 12:54:47 PM)
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A bit a male sub point of view for you. Separate talking about what you two would like to do from doing it. Have conversations about what you two liked/would like after you play. This will help keep you from acting out his fantasies, but let you know what he likes. Put a night's sleep between your submissive telling you what he wants and even the possibility of him getting it. I say this having spent too long not knowing this advice. It took my Mistress and myself some time to understand my being a good communicator at all times was robbing her of the chance to really take charge. Nowadays, unless directly asked, if I have something to suggest or share, I put it in an email to her. This way she can process it at her leisure.
When you feel tired and drained from "provid[ing] D/s activity for him", have him give you a long bath and even longer massage. He's your sub, take full advantage of it. And don't even think about returning the favor. It isn't a favor, it is his duty. It may help you start getting the "(in your head) pressure to provide for him" out. He will be happier as your thoughts start to focus on your needs and wants and he can find his place in submission to them. Bathtime also becomes a nice time to have discussions about what you two like.
Most importantly, have fun and try new things. My two favorite activities these days are two that when I first heard about them, I said "No way in hell!" You never know.
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