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How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/3/2008 11:44:56 PM   
sanguine321


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/3/2008
Status: offline 		I've been doing a lot of research lately  about BDSM, D/s, M/s, etc. I, now, know for a fact that I want to be my Dominate's slave. Ultimately that's what he would want: a slave, because he's very very dominate. I want to do something that would really impress him to show him that I'm extremely serious about wanting to be his slave. What I've already thought of so far is getting on my knees and beging/asking him to be my Master. I'm just wondering if  there's something way beyond that act, that can push it over the top and really, really impress him. Any ideas, comments, suggestions. Please help me!! Thank you so much!

< Message edited by sanguine321 -- 2/3/2008 11:51:42 PM >
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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 12:14:35 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		First, does he WANT to be a Dominant or Master? If he doesn't want it, nothing you do or say will make it work. This isn't like 'popping the question' to get married. Talk to him about it...then ask HIM what would make an impression. I'm betting that it'd be the every day things. Doing laundry when you're tired, making breakfast cheerfully even when you're sleepy...being ready for him even though you're not really in the mood.

Master Fire

BTW, great name. I'm a Hybrid-by-default. Sang who gets by on Psy.


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 2:20:37 AM   
akahadaka


Posts: 27
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Sanguine,

I agree with Master Fire about asking him about being a Dominant or Master. 
And after this, if your goal is to show him that you are serious about wanting to be his slave... just let him to take control of the situation, to act like a Dom. This way you can answer him acting like a slave, being his slave. And be patient. Things will come naturally.

Of course each person is different but I can tell you my own experience with my Dom (my first and only one). At the beginning he started to train me every day with small things and I followed his orders doing my best. After a time, he asked me "do you want to be mine?" and I answered "yes, Master". Maybe those words were impressive for him and the best proof of my serious determination. And of course all the time before trying to please him in little things were an output for him, too.
Just my two cents.

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 5:05:39 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sanguine321

if  there's something way beyond that act, that can push it over the top and really, really impress him. Any ideas, comments, suggestions. Please help me!! Thank you so much!

my word promising to be His daughter until death do we part was my commitment. it might not be over the top or quite impressive on the scale you're seeking however a simple "yes" was good enough for Daddy.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 5:11:14 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		A grand gesture that takes a moment might be important, or fun, or romantic, or moving.  But lots and lots of little things, done over a long period of time -- that's hard.  It tests the resolve and the depth of your commitment.  The process is more impressive than any single event.

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 5:37:18 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		To the OP:  I'm not trying to be rude - but how long have you been talking to this guy?  If you really know him well enough to be making an informed decision to surrender authority, then wouldn't you know what he's really looking for, and what kind of gesture would touch him on that dominant level?

It's difficult to give you suggestions, since what is appropriate and what is right is largely dependent upon the type of relationship and the people involved.  And before you say:  "I said in my original post I want a Master/slave relationship!" keep in mind that even between those who identify as being in that M/s relationship, their communication and choices and protocols and relationships are different and unique.

So.  What worked on me with my subs over the years:

One of them refused to use my name, even though I said he could use it.

One of them used a title for me that I don't like, but somehow managed to make it sound right.

One of them was patient beyond what I would have expected, and just showed me what was really in his heart.

Sometimes the grand gesture happens when you least expect it, with a minimum of fuss or ceremony.



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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 11:18:30 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Honestly, the dramatic protestations of love are all well and good, but only if they are backed up by your deeds. Do you remember how he likes his coffee, and what he prefers to eat, and at what hour? Do you pay attention to his sock drawer getting low and either buying him more so he can make it a full week or else cheerfully resign yourself to doing laundry twice weekly? Those kinds of low drama items are the most important.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 11:33:47 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		This may seem very boring, but it's my opinion (and only my opinion) that we show people how much they mean to us and how devoted we are to them in the simple things we do, not in grand displays.

Remember the little things. I know one dominant who honestly doesn't remember how he likes his tea and coffee because his girl has always fixed it for him.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 2:43:16 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		i had his name tattooed to my face .... reeeeeeeeally big ... right across my chin


sorry serious answer ... be everything he asks you to be ... be pleasing .... be his ....just .... be

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 3:27:57 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Honestly, the dramatic protestations of love are all well and good, but only if they are backed up by your deeds. Do you remember how he likes his coffee, and what he prefers to eat, and at what hour? Do you pay attention to his sock drawer getting low and either buying him more so he can make it a full week or else cheerfully resign yourself to doing laundry twice weekly? Those kinds of low drama items are the most important.


I agree with the above poster. My Sir says it's about the actions and the effort.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 3:52:19 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sanguine321

I've been doing a lot of research lately  about BDSM, D/s, M/s, etc. I, now, know for a fact that I want to be my Dominate's slave. Ultimately that's what he would want: a slave, because he's very very dominate. I want to do something that would really impress him to show him that I'm extremely serious about wanting to be his slave. What I've already thought of so far is getting on my knees and beging/asking him to be my Master. I'm just wondering if  there's something way beyond that act, that can push it over the top and really, really impress him. Any ideas, comments, suggestions. Please help me!! Thank you so much!
 
edited cause it was snarky... darn  gotta stop doing that.

I'm with the "little things matter" contingent

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 2/4/2008 4:12:54 PM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 5:14:28 PM   
gcarlos


Posts: 98
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Hmm, you want over the top... huh?  Well, how do you think HE would react to "over the top"?  You have to consider that that type of profession of commitment might be perceived as too much, too needy, too controlling even.  Perhaps you need to let him guide you into what type of declaration or expression of emotion would be appropriate. 

Best,
Their {girl}

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 5:44:22 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sanguine321

I've been doing a lot of research lately  about BDSM, D/s, M/s, etc. I, now, know for a fact that I want to be my Dominate's slave. Ultimately that's what he would want: a slave, because he's very very dominate. I want to do something that would really impress him to show him that I'm extremely serious about wanting to be his slave. What I've already thought of so far is getting on my knees and beging/asking him to be my Master. I'm just wondering if  there's something way beyond that act, that can push it over the top and really, really impress him. Any ideas, comments, suggestions. Please help me!! Thank you so much!


You want to impress him with something over the top?  How about just being yourself?  Why do some dramatic, over the top gimmick when any dominant worth the time and effort just wants you to be you?  He's collaring you for you, not for an overzealous demonstration.

You know what won my dominant's heart?  I got to know Her.  I treated Her with love and respect every single day.  I learned what made Her tick and I learned what I could do to make Her life easier.  I showed Her what I could bring to Her life and made myself a valuable piece of Her life.  That was what I did to show Her my commitment.  It wasn't a single act, nor did I beg and plead for Her to be my mistress.  It was a combination of hard work, dedication, and effort over a long period of time that earned Her dominance.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 5:58:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say make that same post in five years about the same person.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 6:30:20 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Make sure it is what you both want and actions speak louder than words. They last longer too.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 8:37:04 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Sanguine - I've been thinking about your question... and here's the thing....

I totally understand the pull to want to make manifest in the real world that which burns so bright inside.  If that weren't the case, the only collars in the world would be on puppy dogs.  *smiles... But what YOU would see as a big declarative statement may mean little to him or repel him.  You want to learn what he wants.  The day will come when he tells you what he wants as a declaration.  And that will happen in HIS time... For you to push your need in a grand gesture is a little unfair to him... particularly as HE is the Dom.  Now for you to tell him you want to do this , that's another story.... I imagine it may not be important to him and nix the idea, he may give you suggestions, or perhaps he will give you free reign.

I was thinking about the different ways we make this kind of commitment and how natural it is to want to...  here's what I came up with in no particular order.... They are all things I've done to show commitment to the one I loved or served.

worshipping in the holy place of a different religion
wearing a collar
Buying the kind of toothpaste he likes which you don't like.
getting married (almost did that)
growing my hair
making his favorite meal
having body art put on your body (tattoo or cutting or piercing)
shaving / and NOT shaving
calling every day  -  3 times a day.

I imagine the conversation between the two of you:

Baby, I want you do something for me.
Yes Master?
I want you to show your commitment to me.
Anything Master.  I'll do anything for you... you know that.
I want you to ___________(imagine the ONE thing you would hate to do).
Oh gosh, I don't know if that's something I want to do or can do
*He looks at you, right in your eyes...
That's why I want you to do it.  For me.
Oh.
 
See how that could work?  *smiles.  Please let us know what happens.

peace

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 8:41:52 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sanguine321

I've been doing a lot of research lately  about BDSM, D/s, M/s, etc. I, now, know for a fact that I want to be my Dominate's slave. Ultimately that's what he would want: a slave, because he's very very dominate. I want to do something that would really impress him to show him that I'm extremely serious about wanting to be his slave.


Learn to say dominant, not dominate.
Damn, its always in the details.


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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 8:53:59 PM   
sanguine321


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/3/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you guys so much you guys are helping a lot!  Yah whoo hoo!!

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/4/2008 10:27:33 PM   
sanguine321


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/3/2008
Status: offline 		My Bad about the misspelling.

< Message edited by sanguine321 -- 2/4/2008 10:29:29 PM >

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RE: How to show M/D sincere commitment...??? - 2/5/2008 9:37:28 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		It is the little things that show it.  I know how my Master likes his coffee how strong to make it.  I also always make sure i have Coke in the house because he loves Coke and hates Pepsi.  Just do the things you know he likes if you don't know ask or learn.  You don't need a grand gesture.

Matt's littleone

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