sad girl

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ladyeleanor -> sad girl (2/4/2008 12:43:26 PM)
Ok, I have never posted a thread before, I hope this os ok but I just feel like I really need some outside feedback on my situation right now... I have a daddy. We mainly chat on MSN because he lives a bit of a way away, not too far but far enough to prevent meeting that often. We met last year and it was so good and I was really happy. Then, although we kept talking on a regular basis, he never really mentioned meeting up again. He often says he would like to see me and all that, but has never actually arranged anything. So I veeeeeery tentativley asked when I could see him again, and we arranged another meet up. So I was so excited, I bought new knix and everything, and on the day in question I spent hours (and I mean hours- its like a farm going to harvest) getting ready. Then I checked my emails...he couldn't make it. His reason was fair enough but at the time I was so dissapointed and upset I wrote a rather cranky email, saying how upset and hurt I was. I suppose I was more angry at the situation rather than at him, but still. Then I swanned out of the house. Couple of hours and some car kareoke later, I realised that maybe I had overeacted. He had written back, stating that he was sorry I was so upset but there was nothing he could do and was really nice about it. I wrote again saying how sorry I was, and then the wait began because he had gone away for the weekend. Cue 48 odd hours of crying, feeling like shit, panicking that he would leave me, generally feeling very low indeed. So then this morning he wrote again, saying yes he was angry with me and he would not forget and further outbursts would not be tolerated. I thanked him for his patience and we talked tonight and I don't think he is mad at me any more. But here is the thing. I am well and truly shocked at how bad this whole thing has made me feel. I have been weepy, moody, and more low than I have been in years over this. And I don't know if I can handle that, I don't know if I can take that level of dependancy. I can't bear the thought of him not being in my life but I am pretty damn terrified and I don't know what to do. So my (very long winded) question for you kind people is will I get used to this? Has anyone else felt this way at first? How did you get past it? Thanks in advance to anyone who responds xxx

LaTigresse -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 12:46:24 PM)
I would suggest an open, no holds barred, discussion of the subject with him. Explain your feelings and work with him to find a solution that works for both of you. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

MollyTroubletail -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 12:48:11 PM)
Eleanor I know some people can have long-distance relationships and others just can't. I'm one of the ones who are like you: I would cry and rant and feel guilty and go around and around in circles, if I were to have no access to my master for days on end. I wouldn't have any peace of mind or spirit. Perhaps it's time to take that hard look at your needs, his needs, and if or how both needs can be met in this relationship.

greyangelus -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 12:55:45 PM)
I'll second what Molly said: Some people can have a good LDR, but other just ain't cut out for it.

DesFIP -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 12:57:04 PM)
If he wanted to meet with you again, he would. He would be the one trying to set up a meet. You're being strung along. You're upset because you have the semblance of a relationship but it is lacking in what you need.

MistressVnus -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:06:29 PM)
I tend to agree with both views here. First of all, my experience tells me he is stringing you along. Period. He was important enough to you to spend all day getting ready. By your description, he doesn't seem to appear to be making you a priority at all. Is this guy married? (hmmmmmmm) And, Im wondering, what is going on in your life that you are so isolated from a support system that only a person on MSN is fulfilling your needs as a human being. You know, the "human touch" is something we all need from time to time. Some can do long distance. However, most that I know that do it have other things going on in their lives to fulfill their needs. A support system if not vanilla dating. My only suggestion is to review "yourself" and what you want and need from a Dominant. Then, decide if that is what you are getting. And, if not, ask yourself why you aren't making sure you are making the right choices for yourself.

SirMIkeSD -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:09:35 PM)
You meet the man ONCE in person and you are this upset over him. Maybe it's time to think a little over the amount of emotion you put into someone that you have only meet once. Mike

TracyTaken -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:12:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You're being strung along. That was my thought too while reading the OP. If it was happening to me, I'd be having thoughts along the lines of "What's really going on here?" If it turns out that he is not the right one, someone else will be.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:22:47 PM)
There is a poster with a really great signature line. I forget who but I always remember it in my dealings now. "Dont make someone a priority that has you as an Option"

MissHarlet -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:24:05 PM)
SwtnSparkling has that Signature line and it is a good one.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:25:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissHarlet SwtnSparkling has that Signature line and it is a good one. words to live by I'd say.

softness -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:44:19 PM)
you were excited about seeing him .. as any girl would be .. you had built the meeting up .. gotten yourself ready .. and then at the last minute it had been cancelled ... you were angry/upset .. told him so then went and cooled off ... later you alked .. came to an undertsanding of sorts but he then went out of contact for the weekend when you were still feeling fragile ... and he ahs a go at you for over reacting a) he should have given you more warning of a cancellation ... leaving it that close .. smacks of a lame excuse or a lie especially taking his otehr behaviour into account b) not anticipating that you would be devastated means he is either a numpty (bad) or doesn't care about you (worse) or intentionally set you up to fail (intolerable) c) thinking that you would be then content with him not contacting you all weekend when you are already fragile .. well .. see above my opinion ... get rid honey ... there are so many wonderful men in our lifestyle .. dont waste yourself on him

ladyeleanor -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:46:06 PM)
Thank you all for your responses, looks like I need to have a bit of a think. xxx

batshalom -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:46:19 PM)
You met once a year ago, you're the one who mentioned meeting this time and something "came up" at the last possible second, after you spent hours getting ready. Hm. I'd be hurt and pissed and all of that, and it would be compounded by his reaction of anger. It would also make me feel like something was up (and it most likely something is up, although what it might be no one but he can say with certainty). If I were you, as hard as it might be, I would extricate myself from this person who obviously has reasons for not meeting. He may have feelings for you but his life situation doesn't leave room for you. This is an oversimplified generalization, yes, but it's walking and quacking so it's most likely one of those pesky ducks.

CalifChick -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 1:51:54 PM)
I'm going to have to chime in with the masses. My first thought was, "he's just not that into you." If I'm interested in somebody, I want to see them. There would need to be a definite plan in there, even if it was something like every other month if it's within driving distance, and a bit longer if it involves big bucks for the travel. Cali

MasterFireMaam -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 2:02:19 PM)
My two questions: Is this healthy for you? Are you fulfilled in this relationship? If not, might be time to look for someone who is physically and emotionally available to/for you. If so, you need to talk to him about your needs. How many times a month/year do you need to meet in order to be happy and fulfilled? If he can't commit AND follow through with that, he's not the one for you. Master Fire

Littlepita -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 3:33:55 PM)
Listen to Master Fire. My reaction to reading your post was that he sure doesn't sound like a Daddy to me. Find someone who will give you bliss and not tears of sorrow. hugs

sexyred1 -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 3:42:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 There is a poster with a really great signature line. I forget who but I always remember it in my dealings now. "Dont make someone a priority that has you as an Option" Great quote, definitely worth listening to and the quote was originally by sentimentalink. Others take lines and add them to their sigs.

parttimehotty -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 3:49:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD You meet the man ONCE in person and you are this upset over him. Maybe it's time to think a little over the amount of emotion you put into someone that you have only meet once. Mike That's what i was thinking, SirMikdSD. To the OP, why would you become this upset after only 1 meeting? Are you this emotionally clingy all the time? Talk to me on the other side if you want to chat further.

angelikaJ -> RE: sad girl (2/4/2008 4:43:32 PM)
His being angry at you for having been upset and disappointed does not seem reasonable coming from a Daddy... I understand last minute things...car issues, illness, work or family emergencies can come up. But everyone likes to feel like they come first once in awhile and it seems like youdon't get to feel that way very often. It is understandable that you are feeling sad not knowing where you fit on his list of priorities. aJ

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