quote:

ORIGINAL: DelilahDeb

Cherrypez has left the dungeon. (At least, I click on hir name and get a "profile not found" from CollarMe.

Y'know, I recall hearing an NPR broadcast a month or two ago that discussed the breakthrough of homosexuality (especially male) being reclassified from a mental illness to a normal human variation. (Cherry, are you listening from some other ID?)

Gay pride, Pagan pride...one of these days it'll be Kink pride!

Delilah Deb

quote:

Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help? Why or why not?

quote:

ORIGINAL: cherrypez

1. your gender?

Left facing.

1. What is your sexual orientation?

I'm sorry....I can't read.

1. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both?

12 mpg, downhill (but it's a hybrid).
 

Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+


Absolutely.

1. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M?

It's BLUE!!!! Am I pregnant?????.

1. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not?

Only when your Mother was involved. (She was a hot li'l thang tho').

1. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person?

I wear my seatbelt regardless of public opinion.

1. Why do you feel you engage in S&M?

Because it adds volume to my hair.

1. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   Why or why not?   

Only for Republicans.

1. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not?

Yes, however...when my insurance ran out I had no options left but to seek advice from my mechanic...and he only worked on Chevy's.

1. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be?

I'd suggest taking about 4 hits of ecstasy (in one swallow) and then be prepared to fuck everyone within 6 feet.

1. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included?

Yes....learn to ask vastly better (and much more emotionally valid) questions.  You're a complete putz.  Your intentions were no doubt valid...but your approach is at best....lacking.

The information obtained will be useful in making an informative handout to pass on to guests who visit our booth.   I hope that I get some useful feedback, thanks to everyone.  

quote:

1. What is your gender? Female
   
   
2. What is your sexual orientation? straight
   
   
3. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both?  Light Masochist
   
   
4. Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+
   
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M? Had a very normal past with no abuse.
   
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not? I used to think some of the more extreme risky types of play were abnormal, but after educating myself my thinking has changed and I don't consider any of it abnormal.
   
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person? Because of our age Master always makes sure I can get free from any restraints on my own.  We also use a safeword.
   
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M? It arouses both of us and releases our stress and tension.
   
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   No Why or why not?    The more I learn about it the more normal it seems to me.  I think it's the ignorant who see it as abnormal.
   
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   No Why or why not? I don't see any reason to.
    
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be?  If it's not consensual, it's abuse in my opinion.
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included? There is no one right way in this lifestyle, it's very individualistic. Everyone practices it differently.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cherrypez

1. What is your gender? Female
   
2. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual
   
3. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both? Sadist
   
4. Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+         21-30 for another 13 days, then 31- 40
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M?   I dont have a dysfuntional past, my mom is overbearing, but I hardly think thats dysfunctional. Just typcial overinvolved jewish mother. It has nothing to do with my relationships nor my sadism.
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not? Abnormal, no not at all. Some might strike me as unsafe, or disgusting, but to each their own.
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person?  Open communication, discussion beforehand, extreme attention to reactions and constant checking of restraints.
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M?  I know exactly what I do it. With the right partner, we both mutually enjoy it. It isnt something I engage in with every partner, nor do I enjoy with everyone. However, Fox and I both get quite a bit out of it.
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   Why or why not?   No more abnormal than abstinance becasue of religious reasons. It is a preference for certain sensations and ways to recieve them.
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not?  Since my first reaction to this question is probably not what you were looking for (see below) I did speak to my therapist about my interest in sadism. Not becasue I wanted to know if it was something that needed to be "fixed" but becasue I wanted to make sure it was not something I had to keep an eye on when my bipolar kicked up. Much like sex drive that can be changed by the disorder, I wasnted to kow if my sadistic urges could as ewll. My therapist said they could, and as long as my partner and I were both consenting and the partner was informed of my disorder and could see changes in my behavior it wasnt a major concern.
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be?  Before you and a partner try anything new, discuss expectations and possible outcomes. Never surprise someone when you dont know how they will react to something, since a negative reaction could be a very bad thing.
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included? You need positive information and questions. These questions give S&M a fairly negative spin and if you are truly going for an informational handout you need to have the good with the bad or you are hadning out propaganda not information.

1. What is your gender? F
   
   
2. What is your sexual orientation? B
   
   
3.  Sadist,
   
4. Age group , 41-50, 
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M?    I had spent some time and effort researching this myself.  Conclusion reached was there did seem to be a larger percentile where it was the case rather than not particularly for m's.  In my own case - no.
   
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not?            Abnormal being not normal and "normal" being a relatively subjective thing....  Have to say no.
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person?  Research, training and what ever else is a relevant precaution and safety measure. 
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M?  It satisfies me in ways, places and depths that nothing else does.
   
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   Why or why not?    No more so than sky diving or bungy jumping.
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not?  Why on earth for?  It's not a problem.
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be?   The uninformed belive it's purely about hurtful pain.  Stubbing your toe or banging your head on the coner of a cabinet hurt like hell - don't know anyone that enjoys that.  S&M is about intensity, endorphins, adrenalin - not just hack and whack pain.  In addition, people register sensations differently.  Some find a bite on the neck intensly erotic, others could care less and some just hate it.  We're all wired differently. 
    
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included?  Sure! ask them how many : enjoyed scaring themselves silly with ghost stories as a kid,  how many enjoy roller coasters - endorphins and adrenalin.  How many find a swat on the butt nice ..light s/m .  How many of them sported hickeys when they were younger..." "gasp",... bruising.  Oral sex was once considered "abnormal" sexual behavior - ask if anybody today will admit they've never done it (or enjoyed it) and then throw rocks calling the practicioners of SM abnormal.

1. What is your gender? F
   
2. What is your sexual orientation? Slightly bi
   
3. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both? Both
   
4. Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+  51-60 (the LOW end LOL!)
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M? I think your textbook makes terrible assumptions based on what research data?? In My case, had 2 "normal" (whatever that is) parents, who stayed together till Dad died. There was no physical abuse ... I never even got spanked when naughty (wonder if that's why i love being spanked so much now!). My parents were fairly strict  but only in accordance with the times, and there was no emotional or sexual abuse from anyone in the family or friends. All in all, a good childhood!
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not? I think some are perhaps less safe, and there are some that are definitely not My kink, but I would be hard pressed to label any S & M play I have encountered as abnormal.
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person? Safe calls, safewords, constant checking, stopping when I believe I have inflicted enough pain not waiting till the subby calls it, leaving the sub wanting more, allowing the sub to freely express any unwanted pain eg pins and needles in a bound limb, and addressing that promptly. As a sub i fully and freely express my responses to Master whom i trust to act appropriately.
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M? Because I enjoy it, it feels good as a sub to transmute that pain into the adrenalin and endorphin induced subspace, i enjoy pleasing Master with my pain and i know He enjoys watching my responses. Similarly as a Domme, I love to inflict the pain because I love where it takes My sub, for Me, the bulk of the pleasure doesn't come from the giving of pain as such. However, I do enjoy the skin to skin contact, and I love soothing over the part I just hit with My hand and feeling the warmth. And I really enjoy giving the aftercare, (or receiving it as a sub) ... the strength of the connection between 2 souls is rarely stronger.
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   Why or why not? No, absolutely not. Is it abnormal to have sex and enjoy it? Is it abnormal to breathe?  
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not? No, have absolutely no intention of seeing a psychological practitioner about My involvement in S & M. The only professional help I have sought has been that of more experienced Dom/mes to learn how to safely perform certain practices!
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be? That people are all different and that pain is different depending upon motivation, context, intensity, type ... and that S & M practices seek to enable people to process some forms of pain into pleasurable experiences in a safe, consensual way.
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included? In BDSM, the emphasis is on consensual interaction, therefore there is no actual abuse involved, even though some might like to use the word "abuse" as it adds to the fantasy/role play aspect of their experience. Also, you've not touched at all on the concept of power exchange and I think that's an important part of it for many, though not all S & M practitioners. For Me also, there is a massive gulf between what I do as a sadist, to what abusers such as Ted Bundy, or those who abuse and misuse animals do. Now those activities ARE sick in My mind!

1. What is your gender?  Female
   
2. What is your sexual orientation? I consider myself straight, but my partner tells me I am bi-sexual. 
   
3. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both?  More Masochist than Sadist, but every few months I have this urge to be in control.
   
4. Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+
   21-30
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M?          First, I would like to mention that there are just as many if not more people engaged in vanillia relationships that have been abused than in S&M.  My past was a little dysfunctional, not so much as some of the people I know in vanillia relationships, but I feel that SM has helpe me to overcome these issues. I went to counseling for years, and nothing helped.  Then when I found this, I gained stregnth.  I feel the role-play involved help me to deal with issues that I could not deal with in counseling. It is sort of like rising from the ashes, and finding control in your life,when prior there was no control. I always tell my partner that our relationship is so good because our weaknesses match.
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not?  There are hard limits, that I find totally unacceptable.  I am not hardcore, I don't like to be choked, I no longer fantisize about rape (guess I don't need to anymore) I dispise pedifiles, and people that subject things on unsepecting victims.  Guns scare me. Just being in the presence of one (probably because I know nothing about them)  I think that it has to do with what your kinks are.  Most of the people that are involved in this are very intelligent and powerful people who like to express things differently.  My friend and I were talking about this and she has a BA in Psychology, I talk to her about everything.  She said that the further that people go in their education the more open they are to different sexual experiences from what she learned in her human sexuality course.
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person?
   Safe sex is essential, my partner and I make sure that protection is used with another person if it is in the equation, there are safe words- and the most powerful saftey aspect is that I have the power to walk away when ever I want.  Most of the restraints are lose so that if I need to get out I can.
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M?
   I feel that all great people have submitted.  It is an internal urge, most religions preach to submit to some sort of god to reach the rewards in heaven.  By committment, and submission, all things are earned.  It is the act of being selfless, trying to reach perfection.  Every great person that ever lived started by submitting, hard work, integrety, honesty and learning the importance of valuing what they accomplish without recognition from others.  I am applying to law school in Oct of this year, and I feel that the committment and dedication I am and have learned is an essential componet to my sucess and completion of my goals.  Out of all the people in my family I am the first to go to college, and that in itself is an accomplishment. I feel that the discipline I have learned through this experience is the reason for my sucess. 
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   Why or why not?   
   I guess it really depends on how far it goes.  If it interfers with your soical contacts, or your ability to have an occupation then yes. If you take it to the point that someone is severly harmed and requires medical attention, the yes.  If not, then no. With me, no, I do not have any of those problems.
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not?
    Prior to my involvemnet I sought professional help, but when I discovered my likes and dislikes, and it helped me work through things, the thearipist I was seeing stated that she didn't know what happened but that my pyschological state started making drastic improvements.  Eventually, she asked about my sex-life, and she stated the rules above, as long as it is not interfering with interpersonal relations, or professional practices, and no one is harmed then it could not be considered abnormal practices. 
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be?                  Eleanor Roosevelt said "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".  I feel that I am in so much more control by being able to chose when I want to feel inferior than having that choice taken away from me. Also, when I enjoy it, I no longer fear it.  Humiliation is the quickest way to intimidate someone, when you enjoy humiliation, you are no longer intimidated by the humilitation, it becomes a thrill and a new power within yourself. You begin to recogize the difference, and when you do, you have the abilty to turn the situation around.  It helps with congitive illussions which is a very powerful skill in the area of law.  If you can successfully communicate without feeling intimidated, you are confident in yourself, and you can stay calm when others would get upset, these are the keys to great mediations and trials.  Most religions preach some sort of self sacrafice, and it is self sacrafice that enables you to grow within yourself.
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included?

1. What is your gender? F
   
2. What is your sexual orientation? Bi
   
3. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both? Masochist
   
4. Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+ ...41-50
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M? I feel that every step we take in our lives (good or bad) leads us to the place we are today. My Biological parents were divorced when i was very young and I was raised by my father and a very loving, caring stepmom who was more of a real mother to me than I can ever explain. I had a happy childhood with no abuse.  
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not? This is a question that will get different answers just because of the sheer numbers of types of play. As had been said SOOO many times, every dynamic is different and different things work for different people. While Master and I Love Breath Play, Fire Play, Knife Play and many other "edgy" things, someothers think those as extreme while We think things such as Watersports, Scat , and beastyality(sp) are extreme. So, it would be hard to nail down a list of acceptable and unacceptable because it will always differ based on the people involved.
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person? SSC..without consent this would be abuse. Master and I have a safword in place always. When we are  out at a public dungeon or a private play party , We always take disenfecant wipes to clean whatever equipment We use. I know thats considered common courtisy but it also assures everyone in attendance that the equipment is clean.
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M? We engage in S&M, BDSM, and D/s all for the same reasons. This "Lifestyle" gives Us the opportunity to express sexual preferences, kink, to experiment with things we think interesting, to be WHO and WHAT we are without fear of judgement from others in the Lifestyle.
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   Why or why not?  Absolutly Not. S&M is a choice We make. It is no more abnormal that someone who is a sports fanatic and will even watch little red wagon races just to have something to watch sports related. It is something We do, something We are. 
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not? No. No answer as to  why or why not. I guess if i thought i needed professional help i wouldn't do this .
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be? I can only answer for myself here but for me its a need for the Power Exchange , It also stimulates me both sexually and mentaly so i guess some one say its a form of "foreplay" for us.
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included?I would just like to add that S&M is only a small part of a much larger picture. I would assume not very many dynamics "ONLY" practice S&M. One would think there is also a D/s or M/s relationship in place also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cherrypez

   I am a college student participating in a service learning project for my abnormal psychology class.   We will set up a booth and provide information on a certain topics. The topic of the group I am in is on Sadism and Masochism.  
  In the discussions we have had in our group so far, we have debated about S&M, whether  it should or shouldn't be listed as an abornormal behavior nor as a mental illness.  Our textbook did indicate that an abornormal behavior or a mental illness is basically determined by the society we live in, which. for our group is the US.   We are aware that some mental illnesses would be deemed appropriate in other societies.   
   Much of the information we are able to obtain is slanted towards S&M being deemed as a mental illness and our textbook does state that many people who practice S&M do not seek treatment, therefore, I can not see where the information the mental health professionals comes from nor believe that it is truly accurate.   Therefore, I desire to ask those who practice S&M a series of questions.   Hopefully, I can get the answers, that will allow me to present information that is a bit more accurate as well as informative.  
    If you practice S&M I am asking you to respond and answer the series of questions I am posing below.   Thank you in advance.

1. What is your gender?
   
2. What is your sexual orientation?
   
3. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both?
   
4. Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.   Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M?
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not?
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person?
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M?
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?   Why or why not?   
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not?
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be?
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included?

The information obtained will be useful in making an informative handout to pass on to guests who visit our booth.   I hope that I get some useful feedback, thanks to everyone.  

1. What is your gender? M
   
2. What is your sexual orientation? Straight
   
3. Do you identify as a Sadist, Masochist or both? Both
   
4. Age group 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60 or 61+  31-40
   
5. Our text book states that a dysfunctional past can cause a person to practice SM such as abuse or overbearing parents.  Did you have a dysfunctional past and if so do you think it caused you to engage in S&M?  Yes and honestly I don't know.  The second part of the question is speculative.
   
6. In our group, we discussed various types of play and some types of play we found acceptable while other types seemed abnormal.  Do you feel that some types are abnormal (eg. gun play) while others are not?  Yes
   
7. We discussed safety aspects in our group, what sort of safety measures do you have in place so as not to cause harm to another person?  Varies according to the activity.  In short using common sense and taking into account the associated risks.
   
8. Why do you feel you engage in S&M? Because I enjoy it
   
9. Do you feel that S&M is an abnormal practice?  Not really Why or why not?  It's just another sensation to explore while with somebody, it add texture and contrast to the experience.  Much like the contrast and dynamics of Music and Art itself.  The whole range of things.  Different types of pain, pleasure and even tickling too.  It's part of the whole range of sensation a human can experience.  Or even no sensation at all.  Sensory Deprivation.  There are other aspects of BDSM beside S&M. 
   
10. Have you sought professional help regarding your involvement in S&M or thought about seeking help?   Why or why not?  No, because it's not been a problem in any of my past relationships. 
    
11. I want to see things through the eyes of someone who practices S&M, if you could give me one piece of information to help me understand you what would that be? To become fully in touch with one's humanity, embracing both sides of ones own yin/yang wheel.  To become whole with yourself and the peace that comes with it.  To not live life mentally as a house divided within itself.  Basically to embrace only one side of the yin/yang and shun and hate the other side. 
    
12. Last question---thoughts, feelings or any information I did not cover that should be included?  True Sadism verse Erotic Sadism.  Those that wish to cause True harm to other humans, and those who do not.  If that makes any sense to you. Those who hold value in other human life and those that do not.   Basically, I don't feel S&M alone is enough to address the issues.   For instance if somebody who engages in S&M play is also a Sociopath, well very bad things can result from it.  However, just like with any other activity such as skateboarding accidents can happen.  S&M play itself can vary from tame, mild and wild.   It all depends upon the activity in question and how extreme one takes it.  Same behavior can be found with those engaging in extreme sports.  The risk factor is increased.  Not everybody that's into S&M is an extreme player, some are.     

quote:

ORIGINAL: cherrypez

Much of the information we are able to obtain is slanted towards S&M being deemed as a mental illness