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What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 2:32:06 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Ok, been cruising around the boards and I see this word thrown around like acid. I've already looked up the dictionary definition of judgement. I have a few questions.

Do you consider yourself judgmental? Why/why not?

Why is being judgmental a bad thing?

Why are said judgmental people removed from the 'live and let live' consideration? In other words, if that person wants to be judgmental, let them - why tell them how wrong they are?

Last one. How do you live a judgement free life?



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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 2:38:45 PM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hi luvdragonx,

Whilst my credo is "to each his/her own, even if it doesn't float my boat", there are some things that I have strong enough feelings about to, shall we say "disapprove" (for lack of a better term) of. I won't say what they are, because I'm being non-judgemental! LMAO

But I can talk to my Master about them freely and be as judgemental to him as I wish. <VBG>

I won't impose my judgements on people whose practices I personally disapprove of, ESPECIALLY people I've never met and will probably never meet in person; whatever they do is their own business. I don't have to like everything, but neither do they, as far as how I live my live goes, so things are copacetic

cello

< Message edited by cellogrrlMK -- 9/7/2005 2:39:43 PM >

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 3:04:26 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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Many people have said that life without judgement is not possible.
But it does depend on how one chooses to define the word judge.

I judge how hot water can be because of the steam rising from it.
I judge if the road is safe to cross, depending on how many cars are there and where they may be.

These things I judge. Because they are about me.

I may be able to drink that coffee, because my mouth can take that heat - but I should not be the judge for another, because they do not have the same threshold.
I can cross that road if it suits my judgement, but I cannot judge for another. They may not walk as fast as I.

However, I do assume. I assume something is cool enough for another to drink, and might recommend it.
I assume that the road is safe enough, and suggest it.

But I cannot assume myslef, because I know myself.

I do not make judgment calls for others, it is not my place to.
But it is my place, to offer conversation on my assumption.
However, my assumption will not always be right.
My judgement for myself, should be.

Those that judge, do so using their own experiences, their own life. How can one judge without malice in such a case?
Everyone is different to each person after all? No one has the right to judge another.

Assumptions can be made, but knowing that the assumption could be wrong is a wise thing to remember. Assumptions then have foundation once communication is established - and this takes time and patience.

Of course, this is the judgement upon myself - and my assumption for everyone else.

Peace and Love

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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 3:06:36 PM   
junecleaver


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quote:

Do you consider yourself judgmental? Why/why not?


Yes. I have the balls to say, "No, I think you are wrong and that is unhealthy." But I also recognize the difference between something I do not like and something I feel is unhealthy or morally wrong.

quote:

Why is being judgmental a bad thing?


It's not a bad thing -in moderation.- People usually pull out the 'judgmental card' when their feeling are hurt and they've ran out of better arguments.


quote:

Last one. How do you live a judgement free life?


You can't.

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 3:21:31 PM   
frenchpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: luvdragonx

Ok, been cruising around the boards and I see this word thrown around like acid. I've already looked up the dictionary definition of judgement. I have a few questions.

Do you consider yourself judgmental? Why/why not?
[dictionary check... done]Yes... no, sometimes, not always, depends. Try not to. I'm sometimes judgemental against myself (is that weird ?).

Why is being judgmental a bad thing?
-It's un-christian (judge not for etc.)
-It's un-buddhist
-It's un-polite
-It's un-friendly
-It's un-cool
-It's un-american

But it's un-avoidable.


Why are said judgmental people removed from the 'live and let live' consideration? In other words, if that person wants to be judgmental, let them - why tell them how wrong they are?
Because it's often un-intentional.

Last one. How do you live a judgement free life?
meditate.


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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 3:23:43 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: luvdragonx
Do you consider yourself judgmental? Why/why not?

Absolutely, because I feel I know how to and regularly exercise my abilities to make judgements about myself and the world around me.
quote:


Why is being judgmental a bad thing?

A) Most people can't do it well
B) Most people universalize their judgements and go from "I judge..." to "If you don't judge like I judge, you're bad"
quote:


Why are said judgmental people removed from the 'live and let live' consideration? In other words, if that person wants to be judgmental, let them - why tell them how wrong they are?

People can't see the difference between disagreeing and disliking.
quote:


Last one. How do you live a judgement free life?

I'd hpe no one ever would- how would they even know what to wear in the morning? Let alone how would they know what relationships worked for them?

For me there are three keys to good judgement making:

1) Get as much information as possible BEFORE making a judgement at all
2) When making a judgement, do not universalize it, own it for yourself, your circumstances, without expecting others to AGREE with YOUR judgements.
3) Always be open to CHANGING your judgement based on new information, experiences and situations

Using those three helps a lot.

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 3:55:49 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: luvdragonx

Ok, been cruising around the boards and I see this word thrown around like acid. I've already looked up the dictionary definition of judgement. I have a few questions.

Do you consider yourself judgmental? Why/why not?

Why is being judgmental a bad thing?

Why are said judgmental people removed from the 'live and let live' consideration? In other words, if that person wants to be judgmental, let them - why tell them how wrong they are?

Last one. How do you live a judgement free life?




Thought I'd drop another one in here.

If you are asked for your opinion and you provide it, are you still considered judgmental?

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 4:29:45 PM   
darkinshadows


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From: UK
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It depends upon the question. Without you stating a specific question, your question is unanswerable really.

If, for example you asked -

quote:

'Is it right for me to eat this ham.'

Then it would be wrong for me to make that judgement.

If you asked -

quote:

'Is it right to eat this ham'

Then I could not answer for you, but communicate why you questioned. Are you allergic to ham or pig products? Are you a vegetarian or vegan? Are you Jewish?

The only answer I could give is -

quote:

'I would eat the ham, but then, I know that its right for me and OK for me to do so'


So, your questions should be more specific.

Peace and Love





_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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You really want to know - 9/7/2005 4:54:59 PM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline 		Are you sure ? Check this http://www.haywired.com/goldchrist/
Of course she says she doesn't judge anyone. If someone could tell her how to spell "september". You know your spelling is bad when a frenchman notices it's bad...

edit : OK she's not just judgmental, she's mad (she says Saddam Hussein organized the attacks on 9/11/01

< Message edited by frenchpet -- 9/7/2005 4:57:58 PM >

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RE: You really want to know - 9/7/2005 5:22:44 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

Are you sure ? Check this http://www.haywired.com/goldchrist/
Of course she says she doesn't judge anyone. If someone could tell her how to spell "september". You know your spelling is bad when a frenchman notices it's bad...

edit : OK she's not just judgmental, she's mad (she says Saddam Hussein organized the attacks on 9/11/01


OMFG!!!!! How did you find that??? I have officially hurt myself laughing!

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RE: You really want to know - 9/7/2005 5:32:11 PM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: luvdragonx
OMFG!!!!! How did you find that??? I have officially hurt myself laughing!

There was a post about it on the official pastafarian website. In case you wouldn't know, pastafarianists believe that the world was Intelligently Designed by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. So it's just another form of Intelligent Design, which president Bussh believes should be taught in school. In other words, Bush fully supports pastafarianism.
t's all explained here http://venganza.org/

...But the tragedy is that the woman writing the haywired stuff is... serious !

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RE: You really want to know - 9/7/2005 5:47:11 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		I have a friend who always tells me I am being judgemental when I rag on him about driving drunk! Uh...gee...guilty....I do judge that kind of behavior and find it wanting. Not ashamed of that at all.

Bob

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 6:26:28 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Absolutely, I am judgemental. We all have a responsibility to make personal judgements about anything that concerns ourselves or those in our care. We can also judge what is going on the world around us and choose to take or not to take action to do something about anything we feel strongly about.
Remember: Judgements are not always bad. Judgement can be good, also. Somehow, it got a very negative spin.
I don't tell people if they are right or wrong about something, if it is something that is an individual call. i.e. not harmful to society as a whole. I simply try to put forth My opinion and My reasoning. It is up to that individual to either agree or disagree. It is also up to Me to determine if I want to continue to associate with a person I feel may be harmful in some way. I have several freinds who think it is okay to drink and drive. I spent one night with two other friends caravaning them all home, safely. My judgement. I love them, and I have made My position on this known. They are not only breaking the law but they are endangering themselves and others. I will no longer go to the karaoke bar with them. Does it matter? Not really. Two of them have lost their licenses and spent time in our "Tent City" for extreme DUI. My judgement is that their judgement isn't very good in this area.
I have known many people who feel I am being judgemental when I disagree with something. What is interesting is that they are being judgemental by telling Me I should not have that opinion in the first place. It's okay to have an opinion, and to share it. It is not okay to tell anyone that they have no right to that opinion, or that they are a fool for thinking in any certain way. Caveat: Anyone who drives drunk is not thinking.
I could not and would not live a "judgement free" life. I just don't force My "judgements" down other people's throats. At least, I try not to.
Sorry, Bob. I got off on the drunk driving tangent, becauser it is really an excellent example of how open to some judgement we all should be.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 10:53:13 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do you consider yourself judgmental? Why/why not?


Sure, I make judgements daily. I also tolerate a lot of things that I consider wrong and allow people to live their lives as they see fit. If it comes to breaking the law, well, I am not the one judging them but in the example of drunk driving, sure I judge those people because everyone should know that drunk driving is illegal and wrong.

quote:

Why is being judgmental a bad thing?


It isn't really. I just think that when someone holds a strong opinion of something and it opposes someone elses, one person will say, "You are judging others and that is wrong." It's a lame tactic to derail a debate.

quote:

Why are said judgmental people removed from the 'live and let live' consideration? In other words, if that person wants to be judgmental, let them - why tell them how wrong they are?


Again it is a tactic to defuse and detract from a point being made. If someone wants to be judgemental, so what? It doesn't bother me.

quote:

Last one. How do you live a judgement free life?


Is that possible?

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I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 10:57:06 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:

If you are asked for your opinion and you provide it, are you still considered judgmental?


Sure, that person might think of me as judgmental. One of my favorite sayings I have is, "If you don't want my opinion, don't ask for it because you will get it." If someone asks my opinion, if they like it or not THEY ASKED, I did not offer it.

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"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/7/2005 11:11:01 PM   
RavenofPK


Posts: 320
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: luvdragonx

Ok, been cruising around the boards and I see this word thrown around like acid. I've already looked up the dictionary definition of judgement. I have a few questions.

Do you consider yourself judgmental? Why/why not?

Why is being judgmental a bad thing?

Why are said judgmental people removed from the 'live and let live' consideration? In other words, if that person wants to be judgmental, let them - why tell them how wrong they are?

Last one. How do you live a judgement free life?




Evening luvdragonx,

Yes, I do consider myself judgemental. Why? It is my right as a free man to be so. (you all can save your comments about my arrogance. It isn't going to change).

That depends on how it is done. Free people may judge openly, and rather bluntly. Slaves, on the other hand........may not. They can judge all they want......they just cannot speak on it. As for free women........they judge at their own risk.

I accept judgement only from my peers. Which means Gorean free people. Slaves, and anyone else, do not have the right to judge me. And what I mean by that is that I realize that they can and will judge. It's just that their judgement means nothing, and is inconsequential.

Non judgemental life? You can't. Things and people in life have this habit of pissing you off, and then you judge.

I wish you well.

Raven

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/8/2005 5:43:46 AM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		I can be judgmental. I try not to be when the situation does not involve me or have any influence on my life.

I am quite biased though. And I'm loud and proud about most of that. We're all quite biased. Ask one question to fifty people and I bet you'll wind up with fifty different answers. Everyone has their own manner of answering the question... of viewing the question... of contemplating the question... of deciding what sort of answer is an appropriate answer... and it's all bias!

I don't like wearing neon colors. I don't like that X-mas song about the dumb little drummer kid. He makes me want to pa rump pum pum his head right into his drum. I don't want to ever attempt eating a spider. I don't like Carrot Top. Ah... oh well... None of that personal bias injures or restricts the rights of others - so I'm content.

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--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/8/2005 7:40:25 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		We are all judgemental, as we are human and can not help it. In the BDSM lifestyle, we must be careful though. We should not judge someone elses kink, just because it is unappealing to us. In the lifestyle it's "to each their own."

BTW, I hate judges! Lawyer's too!

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RE: What is Judgmental? - 9/8/2005 8:31:05 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
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Status: offline 		Interesting topic. The problem with the word "judgmental" is that people always respond that it's impossible not to be judgmental. And they have a point: we make judgments about things all the time.

So "judgmental" has to mean more than just being inclined to make judgments. TO ME, being judgmental implies an unwillingness (and often inability) to imagine anyone else's point of view. You're not required to ADOPT anyone else's point of view, but a clear sign of intelligence is an ability to understand how other people feel. By the same token, a clear sign of a lack of intelligence is an inability how other people feel.

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RE: You really want to know - 11/4/2005 4:28:39 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

Are you sure ? Check this http://www.haywired.com/goldchrist/
Of course she says she doesn't judge anyone. If someone could tell her how to spell "september". You know your spelling is bad when a frenchman notices it's bad...

edit : OK she's not just judgmental, she's mad (she says Saddam Hussein organized the attacks on 9/11/01


Just checked an old email account of mine and found this.

http://cathyagnus.proboards56.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1126510577

Apparently it was all a big hoax perpetrated by this comic book artist. I found it hard to believe after a while that it coudl be real, but dang, he pulled a pretty good stunt.

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