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RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 4:31:08 PM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

I am owned, to me that means personal belongings and All that belongs to me. Maybe that is easy for me to say because I don’t see him allowing others to wear my personal clothing. In my mind some things just aren’t meant to be share like panties and insertables.

If your Master agreed to allow you your own personal space and product in the beginning I don’t think it is fair that he changed the agreement with out at least informing you. Then made you feel bad because you were hurt and felt as if he broke your trust.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 21

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 4:31:12 PM

idontknowdou

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

yeah u dont share undies thats just gross

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 22

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 4:33:35 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

As Master's owned property everything I owned before now belongs to him. I knew this before I begged his collar though. You clearly communicated with him about things that are important and he expressed an understanding and agreement which he then promptly ignored. I'm sorry he was dishonest and hopefully the next man you chose to trust will be upfront with you about his expectations.

warm wishes,

charlotte

_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 23

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 4:34:23 PM

nwcutie102

Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline

i would be sooooo upset. i think a gentlemen and a Master would have have more respect . this was not something ever discussed and talked about.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 24

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 4:45:29 PM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tenera

Let me preface my question by stating that this isn't about blame or finding fault. I am truly trying to gain insight into my issues, which I do admit to a few and what I could do better in my next relationship.

<snipped>

Although I can see where I was wrong in many issues that we had, I can't seem to overcome this one. I would love to hear how other slaves/submissives would feel about this happening to them and of course any insight or help from Masters would be greatly appreciated.

Stepping aside from my extremely low personal opinion of him, and of the women who agreed to wear the underwear of a stranger (dying to call them skanks, but I will rise above it)...... your questions about personal development:

Just what issues do you want to overcome? How to drop your standards to that of a guttersnipe? Are you really sure you want to?
I see nothing wrong with your standards.
I see nothing wrong with trading clothes with my best friend, but she is my best friend of 20+ years and not a complete stranger that I haven't met. But I am not sure I would ever trade knickers or thongs (I don't actually own any so this is a hypothetical for me).

We should all examine our part in a relationship break-up. Personal growth wouldn't be possible if we didn't. In this case, I would be looking at the point where, against your wishes, he allowed others to use your items of personal hygiene. Or the point where it "slowed down" (but didn't stop) - A man of his word?

Faith
:: smiles ::

(in reply to tenera)

Post #: 25

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 7:32:16 PM

greenearth21

Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

Seems to me like he was a bit...okay maybe much of a prick for not respecting your wishes. I can certainly understand your feeling heard for not having your boundaries (which i'm assuming had been talked about) being respected. Man the rage I would feel after looking at those pics. Owned property or not....some things are just yours to share with him and not everyone else and their gramps. Just my opinion. Sorry you had to deal with that.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 26

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 7:37:29 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

If your master is so keen that you should have no property, he is the one who should be paying for the underwear and everything else, not you.

I'd take em, burn em, and forget HIM. Cuz that is just revolting honey. I WANT to ask about toys, but I just don't want to go there.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to greenearth21)

Post #: 27

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/6/2008 10:54:53 PM

tenera

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/4/2008
Status: offline

First of all I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts, kind words, and advice. I did leave the relationship with much fear and trepidation. With the threats and refusal to “release” me I eventually asked my firm for a transfer to our West Coast offices. I believe in the adage “You reap what you sow” and now find myself enjoying a wonderfully warm California winter. Yes, I do think 45 to 50 degree temps in the winter are warm

Kalista07, I had figured out that I was played and used. As hard as that was for me to accept I did swallow it like the bitter pill it was. Astrologically, my sun being in Virgo makes me the clean, orderly germ phobic that I am. Unfortunately my rising sign being in Libra I’m constantly weighing both sides with entirely too much empathy.

Valentyne, you are correct. I did trust him too easily. The good news is that I have given every aspect of this relationship careful thought and have learnt a great deal about myself and human nature in general.

eyesopened, I suppose I was a little lucky compared to the others because when I did receive
lingerie from him it did have the tags on them, some even had the receipt enclosed. The ones with no receipts I have to wonder – did he put tags on another’s clothing?

beargonewild, I am so sorry to hear of the pain you had to endure. You seem to be quite strong now
and for that I am very happy for you.

GrizzlyBear, I did go for a test and came away clear. Thank God!

batshalom OMG the visual of his toothbrush up another man’s ass had me reeling. I bet you’d be a lot of fun on girls’ night out!

xxblushesxx, I did not burn them. Instead I threw them in his washer and dryer. Satin, silk, leather, and an ample enough measure of bleach to clean them rather well. Not sure how long the spilt bleach will take to cause holes, but the design was rather nice on a few garments.

Evility, the images you spoke of were more than an unpleasant thought. They were the reason for the fear and trepidation in leaving.

Aileen1968, another great visual. Care to hit the town with batshalom and me?

charlotte12, I will be much less trusting and muck more careful with the next man. One reason I’m taking my time and working through all of this before moving in that direction. This was over 7 months and 1,300 miles ago, and I still have a ways to go.

Subsfaith, thank you. Not dropping my standards was a refreshing way to phrase it. Refreshing like a glass of cold water in the face ABD I did need that.

MissMagnolia, that thought ran through my mind also. Along with the toy thought, which I don’t even want to think about!

Focus and ProlificNeeds, thank you for the welcome and positive feedback.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 28

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/7/2008 8:13:37 AM

vampiresscammy

Posts: 97
Joined: 12/25/2007
Status: offline

I agree with Shawn, Focus and Bear - owning you has nothing to do with changing rules mid play and conviently neglecting to tell you about it or forgetting to mention "hey, I wanna do this now instead". my thoughts are, make it crystal clear in future to any possible significant other that your wishes are such and if at some point they change their mind, a word to you must be made or your out the door with your toys and such.

I have OCD, if my SO or lover can not understand and oblige this issue, then they have no business with me, certain things like my intimate clothing and toiletries I do not share, makes me go bonkers

(in reply to tenera)

Post #: 29

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/7/2008 2:27:14 PM

Nineveh

Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline

It sounds to me as if this is someone who refuses to treat those who chose to submit to him with enough respect to deserve that submission. I am sure there are those out there who wish no consideration whatsoever, and perhaps he would be just what they are looking for, but the fact that he would act as if you deserved no consideration without letting you know that was the way in which he was approaching it is a terrible shame.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 30

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/7/2008 3:04:04 PM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm one of those types who honestly have no problems sharing clothes, even panties or bras.

My problem is the lack of being informed ahead of time- obviously just trying to take what he can without being responsible or ethical about it.

I also have no problem sharing, however, i know who i am loaning my things to, i know how clean that person is, and i agreed to it ahead of time.

From what you said, you had no clue what was going on. I'm afraid i would have to move on and find someone else.

Oh, but he could keep the thongs......

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 31

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/7/2008 3:51:36 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

Hi All being extremely new to these things... I would try to say that I wouldn't want any man let a lone a man which whom was suppose to protect me, doing these things to me. I think of a dom as a protector, a confidant, a leader and a lover. Apparently, either I am wrong, or he is the biggest ass hole that I have ever heard of. It's not about his ego.. it's about leadership.

My own 3¢ worth!
Deamer

(in reply to tenera)

Post #: 32

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/8/2008 4:12:26 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I wouldn't wear the same ligere for a different man so there is no way in hell I would put myself in that situation.

Yet, knowingly going into a poly situation, you pretty well should have allowed for drastic changes as such.

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)

Post #: 33

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/8/2008 4:37:50 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

I sitting here still in shock at your post. WTF is or was your Master thinking, is what I'm saying to myself. It should be his job to properly manage and handle property. OK, i read many things in this post, where I would have done something different. But this is just me and not every tom, dick and harry of a Master out there.

My views and my perspective on this...

I would never would have mindless had somebody else wear my slaves personal clothing in the manner he did. If it did happen it, she would have known about it before hand and not after the fact.

I have to side with the ASS comments being made here. An actually, think he's not managing his slaves properly if everybody is using everybody elses shit. This is an open door for problems to happen. So, I'll had being an IDIOT on top of the ASS comment.

(in reply to tenera)

Post #: 34

RE: Personal Belongings - 2/8/2008 12:58:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'd have thrown a fit the first time I found my belongings stolen and other people's hair on them. I'd have demanded he replace all of it immediately and I'd have bought a suitcase with a lock for my belongings and taken the key with me.

I would not immediately have assumed he had knowledge of this and colluded in it, if I had then I would have walked immediately.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 35

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