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The Three Leged Pig - 9/7/2005 9:12:06 PM

FangsNfeet

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One day, the new SPCA officer recieved a report of an abused pig. The report read that this pig had scares, discoloration of skin, and severe burn marks. Not to mention, the pig only had three legs. So the officer goes to the farm and speak with the owner. Not to mention, the report also read that the pig was missing a leg.

Officer: Pardon me sir, but I'm an officer of the SPCA and I'm here to investigate the condition of your pig.

Farmer: Oh that's wonder. Did you here that boy? This is an officer here to finally give you some recognition for being a hero.

Officer: Excuse me sir? Did you say your pig is a hero? I'm here to see about his condition. Can you tell me about those scares?

Farmer: Well, that was from the wreck my daughter had a month ago. She had been side swiped and my 2 month grandson ended up in the barb wire fence. The wire went everwhere and the truck was blocking the main way to get to my grandson. As the emegency people where trying to get to the boy, this pig jump into the mess, fought through the barb wire, and safely draged the baby out.

Officer: Oh my! What an incredible pig. So that explains his scars but do you mind telling me about his discoloration?

Farmer: Well sir, as you know, three weeks ago was our last freeze and I thought I'd walk on the lake one last time before the water melted. As I made it in the middle I steped on a weak spot and fell through. As I was gasping for air and trying to get out of the chilling water, my pig jumped it and pulled me out. The vet said that the cold water has made his skin change color and will be this way for a long time.

Officer: Holy cow! You mean to tell me this pig saved both your grandsons life and yours by risking his own?

Farmer: Yup!

Officer: That's incredible. However, I'm still required to ask you about his burn marks.

Farmer: Oh that's from the fire two weeks ago. As you can see my barn has burned to the ground. My wife was traped in there when the fire began and this big old pig busted his way through the door and into fire. He saved her life draging her out while on fire. But I quickly turned the water hose on him before the fire could do any more damage to his hide.

Officer: God what a wonderful pig you have. He saved your grandson, he saved you, and he saved your wife. I'm amazed on how you have such a good pig. You must have made him a part of the family by now. Screw Arnold, you have on hell of a pet pig. I've heard enough and the SPCA will not be bothering you any more. Not that it's no big concern, but out of curiosity, do mind telling my why your pig only has three legs?

Farmer: Last week I figured he tasted to good to eat all at once.

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RE: The Three Leged Pig - 9/8/2005 4:14:29 AM

MadameDahlia

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-laughs- Don't look now... but I think that's PETA at your door!

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RE: The Three Leged Pig - 9/8/2005 8:40:09 AM

Lordandmaster

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Yay, it's a Vermont farmer joke!

Here's another one:

A cowboy from Texas is driving through Vermont on vacation and stops at the side of the road for a break. While he's relaxing, he notices a farmer driving a rickety old tractor in a field next to the road.

So he hails the farmer, who comes on over, and they have a chat.

"Is this ya farm?" the Texan asks.

"Yup, everything you can see, from over there to over there--it all belongs to me," said the Vermont farmer.

"THAT'S IT?" the Texan responded, incredulously. "Why, on ma spread back in Texas, I can get up in the mawning, ride all day, and still be on ma spread when night comes."

"Yup," said the Vermont farmer, "I had a car like that once too."

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RE: The Three Leged Pig - 9/8/2005 2:21:58 PM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

A cowboy from Texas is driving through Vermont on vacation and stops at the side of the road for a break. While he's relaxing, he notices a farmer driving a rickety old tractor in a field next to the road.

So he hails the farmer, who comes on over, and they have a chat.

"Is this ya farm?" the Texan asks.

"Yup, everything you can see, from over there to over there--it all belongs to me," said the Vermont farmer.

"THAT'S IT?" the Texan responded, incredulously. "Why, on ma spread back in Texas, I can get up in the mawning, ride all day, and still be on ma spread when night comes."

"Yup," said the Vermont farmer, "I had a car like that once too."

I lack the Yankie intellect to understand this joke. I flat out just don't get it. I'm a Texan. Thanks for sharing your superior northern jokes with me L&M. Is there a Yankie among us who can tell me what's funny about L&M's joke?

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RE: The Three Leged Pig - 9/8/2005 2:27:51 PM

JohnWarren

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Joined: 3/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

quote:

Yankie among us who can tell me what's funny about L&M's joke?

Vermonter had a car that broke down a lot. I heard the same joke but it was about Texas and Israel and trains. "Yes, we have the same problem with our trains."

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