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3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 12:25:19 PM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

My Master and I are about to find ourselves in a wierd and new situation. We have been together for almost 11 years, living together for 10, and truely into BDSM for about 2 years now. (We actually were doing this for a long time and didn't know it but that's a really long story) Master is about to leave for Alaska (New job) in a week, I will be here for around 3 months to pack up the house and get everything ready. We are really just now starting to find what we are looking for in this life. He controls what I eat and when I cum as well a a dozen little things. We are both starting to be really happy and comfortable with the way things are. A few big misscommunications out of the way and we are finally starting to get a clue.
Now this.
The moving and packing doesn't bother me, a matter of fact I'm waiting for him to leave so I can do what needs to be done the way I would like it done. But the whole idea of being without him, without my Master is starting to freak me out. I mean just the small things. I will feel lost without being able to sit at his feet. He won't be here for me to share all those little things that are best shared in person.
I have no fear he will leave me or anything like that. I am simply frightened of the idea of being without my Master. I can take care of myself, it's not that I think I will not be able to servive without him.... it's just that he's the other half of me.
I have a secondary Dom that Master will be giving certain control over. But really he's more a play Dom, Not my Master.
So, all that having been said.... anyone ever been in this possition? What did you do? Was there anything that made it easier? Anyone have any thoughts on this?
Thanks and sorry for the misspellings.

Post #: 1

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 1:11:17 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

While I've never been in your exact situation, my boyfriend and I, after a year of being very close, had to separate so he could go to graduate school halfway across the country.

After less than a month of separation, we're pretty much planning on me moving down to be with him again starting next summer. It just wasn't worth the separation- we're still a new relationship, we didn't want to risk losing it, and we're young enough that our lives can be that flexible. I've already discussed it with all of my other partners and while they are saddened but understanding, the Owner had pretty much predicted it already.

Being older, with a house, kids, career, all that, it would be a much harder decision to make, but still possibly the right one.

You can at least have the light at the end of the tunnel- three months. You can function as a good slave doing what needs to be done. It will prove to your master and yourself how competent and adult you can be. This is an unfortunate side effect of micro management, a possible lack of confidence or ability when rough times hit.

So keep up the phone calls, keep your head down, don't let yourself curl into a ball and make it through. You both will be proud after it's done (little consolation during the process). I'm sure you will think of tons of little rituals you can still do on the phone or when you're alone to feel connected. It's gonna suck, no matter what, but if you KNOW that and KNOW it will end, then you can beat it and not let it beat you.

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 2

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 1:19:06 PM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

I'm going to do my best to do that very thing. Not to curl into a ball and pitty myself. Well, okay I've allowed myself one week to do that very thing. One week to do nothing but cry and read all day. Then after that it's time to give that up. I've asked all my friends to make sure I leave the house occationally.
I can honestly say he doesn't Micro manage my life, but there are things he certainly controls. I've planned to keep making the bed every day and keep myself trimmed. If nothing else to keep up those little things I always do for him. Plus I know it will make me feel he isn't so far away.
I know I'm strong enough to make it through and I keep telling myself that if I made it through my childhood, I can surely make it through this, after all the first (Almost) year was long distance. But that just doesn't seem to keep me from being afraid of him not being here.
Thank you for your advice, they were the words in my head but it's nice when someone else says them.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 3

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 4:58:03 PM

subcheryl

Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline

Try when you are talking to him on the phone, sitting where you always do, cuddle a pillow at the same time and close your eyes and just hear his voice, its not the same thing but for a little while your brain can be fooled to think he is there, and you can still share struggles and ideas. that is so neat. I tend to be one who gets overwhelmed with alot of things needing to be done at one time and when I was sorting and packing to move 1600 miles from my home to master's home it was so good to hear his voice and have him set the things I needed to do first and prioitize so if you hit the bumps talk to your master he will understand and help you thru.

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 4

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 5:48:43 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Oh and two silly things I like are a) swapping clothes to keep scents/memories nearby, and I pop in his DVDs that I haven't watched so I can feel like we're sharing an experience together.

(in reply to subcheryl)

Post #: 5

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 6:48:20 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

'Fraid i don't really have any advice for you srahfox. I am facing an almost 2 year separation from The Man. It's approaching quickly. I am preparing now............it's not easy, but life has it's challenges and rewards. Thorns is the best part of who i am........it will be difficult to have Him gone.
I feel for you......i pray that the time passes quickly for you. In the meantime, find out what it is that your Master wants you to do/accomplish while you both are separated. This has always been a help to me when Thorns has been gone in the past...it helps keep my focus and it reminds me that just because He is not physically there at the moment, i am STILL in service to Him.

Happy Friday...

~smilezz~

< Message edited by smilezz -- 9/9/2005 6:49:17 PM >

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 6

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 7:03:30 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: srahfox

My Master and I are about to find ourselves in a wierd and new situation. We have been together for almost 11 years, living together for 10, and truely into BDSM for about 2 years now. (We actually were doing this for a long time and didn't know it but that's a really long story) Master is about to leave for Alaska (New job) in a week, I will be here for around 3 months to pack up the house and get everything ready. We are really just now starting to find what we are looking for in this life. He controls what I eat and when I cum as well a a dozen little things. We are both starting to be really happy and comfortable with the way things are. A few big misscommunications out of the way and we are finally starting to get a clue.
Now this.
The moving and packing doesn't bother me, a matter of fact I'm waiting for him to leave so I can do what needs to be done the way I would like it done. But the whole idea of being without him, without my Master is starting to freak me out. I mean just the small things. I will feel lost without being able to sit at his feet. He won't be here for me to share all those little things that are best shared in person.
I have no fear he will leave me or anything like that. I am simply frightened of the idea of being without my Master. I can take care of myself, it's not that I think I will not be able to servive without him.... it's just that he's the other half of me.
I have a secondary Dom that Master will be giving certain control over. But really he's more a play Dom, Not my Master.
So, all that having been said.... anyone ever been in this possition? What did you do? Was there anything that made it easier? Anyone have any thoughts on this?
Thanks and sorry for the misspellings.

Greetings,
My Master lived in New York when we meet and I lived in California. There came a point that we choose to move to nutral ground. We choose a small town in Maryland. My Master moved me and my children from Californa to Maryland only to have to return toNew York to finish settelings things there. I wanted to curl up and sleep the entire time he was gone, however; he frankly forbit it.

He gave me a standing list of things to do daily. We also talked online and via the phone daily. Technology is a wonderful thing if we can use it and use to our benifit. Web cams are rather inexpensive as are microphones. There are many messenger servers that have both video and voice chat options. If possible I would utilize these.

When talking on the phone to your Master find a quiet place and kneel close your eyes and imagine that you are kneeling before Him.I know that for me I could / can feel , smell, taste my Master.

Try to stay to your routine. Whenmoving this is hard because you obviously have packing ect. to do, however; the small things the every day things He demands continue to do them.

Remember two things. What does not kill us makes us stronger. Seperations from those we love often make us relize how precious they truly are to us and hold onto those little things that we often do not acknowledge. And most improtatly remember you are HIS no matter if he is there in your mind or physcially there.

Nika, Phoenix's Gothic Slave

*Honor is not in our actions but in living with the consequences of our actions*

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 7

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 8:29:26 PM

oceanprincess

Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I have recently had to deal with being apart from my Dom, curently, he's away in India, for the second time, and he will be gone a total of three and a half weeks this trip, he will be back on the 23rd of this month, and he left on August 31st.

It's tough being away from him. I have the yahoo messenger online and when I am not on my pc, I am logged into it on my phone so that we can message each other night or day. So when I do have a day off work, he can IM me when I am out with friends and he can call me where I am at, or we can chat a little through my phone, and his computer in his hotel.

I do curl up and cry, even when he was gone the first time, I cried a lot. I went to my parent's house, and my Mom started talking about my Dom, and I started to cry. Little things reminded me of him, and to me it almost felt as though he had died, even though he had not. I was so sad, and so depressed, I wasn't working when he left for the first trip to India back in July, so it was tough. I was mad at him, angry at him almost, well, I was angry. Angry that he left, angry that he left me. I was very dependant on him for a lot of my emotional needs. He normally, when he's home, rubs my back till I fall asleep. Holds me when I need to be held... No one took his place and did those things for me while he was gone, I was pissed at the whole situation. I am glad that you have someone else to possibly play with, I wish that I did sometimes. I missed, well, I miss now too, spankings. I love pain. :)

Staying busy is the key. If someone asks you to go somewhere or do something, no matter how you are feeling that day, get up, get dressed and go with them. You will have so much more fun with them if you do. I also have a link for a countdown clock that a friend of mine gave to me since my boyfriend works in another country and doesn't come home but every other weekend or so. Here's a link to one that similar to mine: http://www.cutedownloads.com/title/2382.htm

Also, it's a great time to meet new people and make new friends, and become a little more independant. I don't have a lot of friends, so I have met a few since he's been on these trips. Good luck, I live in California also, so I am here if you ever want to chat. If you send me a message on collarme, then I will email you my email address if you want it.

Oceanprincess

P.S. My Dom, might be leaving for a third trip before the end of this year is up. :( I just found this out yesterday, and I am really not happy about it, at all, but he's gotta do what he's gotta do for his work.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 8

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 9:39:58 PM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

Try staying busy during the day, and keep a set time when you wake and go to sleep. If you don't, you will want to curl into a ball and sleep all the time! Its going to be hard, but you can do it. Talk when ever you can on the phone, keep a shirt or something that smells like him. Good luck, and just remember it will all be worth it.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 9

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 10:11:28 PM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

Thank you so much. It's good to know other people have gone threw (are going threw) all of this. I'm going to do my best to keep from curling into a little ball and sleeping the day away. Helps that basically the faster I pack the sooner I get to see him. It's going to be wierd just because we have lived in this same house for 8 years now and I have to pack it all up. I know I'm a strong girl, or else I don't think Master would have me. It's just that I feel we are finally getting to where we really want to be and now this. But we will be in beautiful Alaska when we both get there.
I'm gratful that I have anouther Dom to play with. Heck without permission I get no orgasms and 3 months is an awefully long time. (For me anyway) It's just not a good replacement. I'm very lucky and I have a great friend base here that I know will keep me from getting too wierded out.
Oh and smilezz... damn 2 years?? Okay 3 months sounds much better now.

(in reply to perfection20005)

Post #: 10

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 10:32:43 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz
'Fraid i don't really have any advice for you srahfox. I am facing an almost 2 year separation from The Man. It's approaching quickly. I am preparing now............it's not easy, but life has it's challenges and rewards. Thorns is the best part of who i am........it will be difficult to have Him gone.

Smilezz....

Not to take away from the original poster, but I'm very sorry to hear this. I for one will miss Thorns' insightful posts. Hopefully something will happen that either keeps him stateside or shortens his departure.

- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to smilezz)

Post #: 11

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/9/2005 10:53:15 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Smilezz....

Not to take away from the original poster, but I'm very sorry to hear this. I for one will miss Thorns' insightful posts. Hopefully something will happen that either keeps him stateside or shortens his departure.

- The Ranger

Thank you kindly for your words Ranger. We are in count down stage, it's not happening quite yet. You never know what could/can happen with the state of things over the next few months.

srahfox-
I know that you will be just fine...it is a wee bit of an adjustment, but wow! what an amazing place for your family to move to. I wish you much peace in all things.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 12

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/10/2005 10:16:05 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Master gave me a stuffed animal, pillows with his smell on them. clothes.. Maybe get an extra bottle of his cologne and spray it in the room sometimes. i LOVED it. walking into the room and being able to smell Master..... curling up in bed with a pillow that smelled just like Master.. twas almost like curling up with him.

Have him call.. Maybe give you daily orders or things to do during the day and the next phone call, you can go through them and how you completed them

(in reply to smilezz)

Post #: 13

RE: 3 months of seperation - 9/12/2005 7:11:30 AM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

I never thought I would be gratful for the time we spent seperated at the start of our relationship, but now at least I have some tiny idea of what to expect. I know Smelling him on the pillows is going to make me sad. I do plan on keeping a bottle of his colone. Sense I'm the bag packer it shouldn't be too hard. :D I didn't marry military dang it. Just didn't expect to deal with this. Everyone has really good ideas though. I know he's going to give my other Dom instructions so I will still feel owned and we plan on talking every moment possible.
It certainly does help that I know I will be moving to the most beautiful place I have ever lived. I know I will make it through this (Specially thinking about someone else having to deal with 2 years. Yuck), it's just something I never thought to deal with really. I'm gonna pack like crazy and get up there as soon as possible. :D Thanks everyone.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 14

RE: 3 months of seperation - 10/2/2005 8:44:53 PM

wantinaSireorSir

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/12/2005
Status: offline

I know what you mean completely. My Master moved away at the end of October last year. Saw him at Christmas and then in June of this year. But not being able to see him or to take care of his every whim has been really hard for me.

wantinaSireorSir

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 15

RE: 3 months of seperation - 10/2/2005 10:55:04 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

So, all that having been said.... anyone ever been in this possition? What did you do? Was there anything that made it easier? Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Just keep reminding yourself it's only temporary. You can do three months. It's only three months. (repeat as necessary)

I definitely feel for you. Three years ago, Master's employer lost the contract He was on. Driving for that client, He left in the morning at 3:00 and was home by noon every day. Some days, I went with Him. Life was idyllic.

Then the rug was rudely yanked from under us. For the last three years, except for 3 weeks' vacation, I have seen my Master just 4 days of each month. Sometimes less. He goes out 12 days and comes home 2. Our contact is a single phone call once a week, and a cryptic email message once a day. We went from His making all the major decisions in my life, to me having complete control over everything. Not at all what either of us had anticipated... or wanted. It very nearly destroyed us after a year and a half.

But we survived, and you will too. The first couple weeks, you'll probably cry a lot. We did... BOTH of us did. But it gets better. And you DO have a light at the end of that tunnel. You know when you'll be together again as Master and slave. Hold on to that, and it will sustain you.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 16

RE: 3 months of seperation - 10/3/2005 5:59:30 AM

CanisMajor

Posts: 42
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

My partner and I go through periodic separations due to business travel. Something that helps us out quite a bit is Skype. As others have said, take every opportunity to communicate with each other, and both of you should take advantage of opportunities to keep socially active.

People moving to Alaska for work generally have a good strong peer group from the job to help them out. But if it is a new job, maybe he doesn't know many people. If your Master is coming to the Anchorage area, we'd be delighted to do what we can if he needs anything; please tell him he can feel free to get in touch.

_____________________________

The Big Dog

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 17

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