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Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 6:55:15 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
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Status: offline 		The question came up.... and I think it's intriguing... What do you think?


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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 6:57:24 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
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Status: offline 		It's one of mine.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 7:03:05 PM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		It turns me on. I guess it depends on what your definition of kink is.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 7:05:18 PM   
MichiganHeadmast


Posts: 726
Joined: 8/13/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm, it is intruiging.  I guess I would prefer that kindness be the norm (even in the world of kink). 

But in a world of strife, then I guess it would be a welcome kink.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 7:28:12 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
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From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I know a lot of people who enjoy being kind but I don't think I know of any who are sexually aroused (the technical definition of a fetish/kink) by being kind. But, stranger things have happened.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 7:40:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Status: offline 		Anything can be a kink.  Although you have to worry about subs who make it a fetish because there are times when "kindness" definitely goes overboard.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 10:19:24 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think of kindness and intimacy as going hand in hand.... kindness turns a lot of people on, so wouldn't it be as normal as vanilla ice cream and as common as the missionary position? Just because it turns ya on doesn't make it kinky


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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/8/2008 10:24:06 PM   
FangsNfeet


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Status: offline 		I guess every sadistic master should show a little kindness to there sub now and then. After all, Valintines Day is comming up.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 2:42:15 AM   
Rafters


Posts: 266
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Status: offline 		It sounds funny. But BDSM sadism opens your eyes to the 1000's of pieces of routine daily petty sadism that vanilla's do without thinking about.

Ignore the props and posing, and sometimes that little bubble of intimate kink you create, can contain more empathy and less long term soul gouging hooks, than the best "good guy" vanilla date.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 2:46:00 AM   
Justme696


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Status: offline 		this question worries me..kindness a kink..I start to worry for the world

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 7:59:40 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		To me 'kink' refers to that which is out of the mainstream.  Kindness is what it is.  Now maybe kindness has become so rare in mainstream society that we could possibly just notice it as being unusual.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 11:06:31 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Anything can be a kink.  Although you have to worry about subs who make it a fetish because there are times when "kindness" definitely goes overboard.


Yah. Like when it turns into manipulation. Or some sort of creepy promisory note.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 1:57:43 PM   
Taintedblood


Posts: 116
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		what an interesting question i wonder if it is....is it not a general thing that is drummed into us to be polite and kind?


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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 2:41:30 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I have no idea. A bit more of it in the world would be a good thing though. LuckyAlbatross would you explain? Do you mean that some subs are not very good at looking after themselves?
I want to be labeled insane.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 2:44:40 PM   
ThistleDown


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline 		This is a very interesting question to me as it's something I've put some thought into in the past. Although I'd never thought of kindness as a kink.

If I am in a situation where I am already feeling fearful and expecting something other than kindness, and I am met with kindness (or mercy as I usually perceive it) depending on the strength of the emotions and the conflict within me (between what I was expecting and what I received) I sometimes get turned on. Although I don't experience it the same as I would if Master say.. ordered me to kneel and lick something I spilled up off the (clean) floor. It's usually more subtle than that and Im usually more interested in handling the emotions than dealing with my dampened clothing and other such related things

I tend to think of it more along the lines of emotional masochism although very tentatively so since it's not so much about hurting feelings as being high strung and running on fear with the act of kindness acting as a sort of flood gate being lifted to let all the tension out.
~puppy

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/9/2008 4:21:18 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

The question came up.... and I think it's intriguing... What do you think?


CAN it be...sure, I reckon it can....but it SHOULDN'T be IMHO


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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/10/2008 4:42:07 AM   
Redoubt


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

The question came up.... and I think it's intriguing... What do you think?



What kind of sick perversion will you dream up next!???? *grin*

I think that by common definition "kink" is something that is out of the ordinary, I would hope kindness isn't.

Now if you mean fetish (as in something required to get one off sexually) then yeah, I can see that being the case. And I suppose that could, if you stretch it, be a little unusual or "kinky" in a BDSM relationship...

"I'd be much obliged if you'd get on your knees for me now, slut... and if it's not too much bother I'd really like some oral... thanks awfully"

If you mean does tenderness have its place in a D/s relationship, I'd say it were up to the two parties involved. I know that in a Daddy Dom situation, its usually expected.

Finally, if you mean does a submissive deserve to be treated with respect, then I wouldn't call that a kink at all, I'd call that an expectation that needs to be established before a relationship begins.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/10/2008 7:13:24 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

The question came up.... and I think it's intriguing... What do you think?



No.

But navel gazing seems to be.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/10/2008 7:37:38 AM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

The question came up.... and I think it's intriguing... What do you think?



No.

But navel gazing seems to be.


Navel Grazing? do tell, please.

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RE: Can kindness be a kink? - 2/10/2008 7:43:37 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I guess if you are with someone who is usually unkind and then he all of a sudden acts kind, maybe that would be a kink. or maybe a manipulation.

Kindness is important. But i have also heard the term "kill them with kindness".
Kindnees should be the norm, exept when tough love is in order. some people arent served well with kindness, some people need to be hit over the head with truth. Unfortunate, but I believe true.

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