|
Romanticspice -> RE: A delicate question... (2/9/2008 11:52:09 PM)
|
At Romantic-spice we're more typically motivated along the Romantic physically/emotionally/spiritually stimulating BDSM lines, rather than Raw/Bitch Slapping BDSM lines (not making accusations, just trying to conjure up a comparison for explanation purposes). Although we've been known to get "friskey" at times...**wink**
I own Romantic-spice and was former "Slave Melanie" to Master Lectrici for a few years. Though Master L. was not inclined to be restrained and submissive, I have dated men who were. At the time, I knew nothing of BDSM, and I was dealing with a vanilla relationship, but I thought, hmmm....if he likes that and if I become his wife, I should give it to him. I was thinking of letting him tell me what he liked (gaining knowledge becomes power for change) and then trying it out, perhaps embellishing it a bit also, as I saw how he responded. More of a mutual discovery process of what would build intimacy between us and keep our relationship on sure footing. I knew nothing of roles of Dom/me/Master or Sub/Slave - I just knew I wanted to submissively please him any way I could, and was looking forward to experimenting and seeking the smile or moans that I might create on the canvas of his body/mind/heart and spirit. It was about bonding and closeness and finding ways to make it happen.
When I entered the arena of BDSM and discovered the roles and BDSM "class system" so to speak, in a way it was a relief, but it can also be a draw back if one becomes legalistic about it. Seldom do we get to ful-fill 100% of any role we want in any kind of relationship, 100% of the time. Each of us has the responsibility in a good/solid relationship to put the other first and cater to their needs. This is how it's "supposed" to work for a balanced and thriving relationship. Putting the other first is something submissives do really well, and seem to live in this mode most of the time. So you have that going for you if you make it your goal to ful-fill his needs as his submissive/caring lover, rather than go into Dominant mode and try to change your whole point of reference, then wind up feeling out of your element.
Romantically speaking, I can see some nice areas where you could expand your skills in pleasing/pleasuring him and still remain in a comfortable submissive mode. It's kind of exciting to sexually tease your Dominant. I was thinking once you have him tied up, there are all manner of things you can do to stimulate him, or go just so far and stop, forcing him to crave more, but don't give it to him. Switch to something else and keep him guessing. Wear something provocative but not revealing. Stand over him and act like you will reveal what he wants to see (tease) but then hold back a few times. Drive him crazy with you having power over him, looming over him and not the other way around. Of course in the end you'll give it to him, but you want to make him want it really bad first. (BDSM foreplay I guess). Many men don't seem to respect what they get easily, so make him long for it, lust for it, be crazed with longing for it. Being tied down, he can't take it or get it for himself, and he won't know when he can have it. This will make him want it even more. But then when it seems he can't stand not having it any longer, give it to him agressively. Straddle him, take his head in both hands, talk through gritted teeth and pull his head hard between your breasts, holding him captive in the grasp of your bosom. Use your breasts as a bondage tool, move them against him, release and capture him again. Whatever the size, use them skillfully! Start at the top of his body, and work your way down. I've also found that listening to your own body during "play" can stimulate ideas and cause you to envision more possibilities for interaction. My Dominant got a little bored after "always" planning every scene and calling all the shots in every activity we did. At times he needed me to do something to inspire him for a change, and keep his creative juices flowing.
Run your hands over his body slowly but deliberately with some pressure to let him know that his body belongs to you at that moment. And I mean really enjoy him!!! Give it 100% of your womanly abilities. Don't think of it as dominating him, think of it as enjoying him to the hilt, and no part of his body is out of bounds. Use every part of your body to "torture/tease" his. Laugh with a little evil twist, or give a few sexy "Hmmms", as though you just thought of some evil you could do to him. This will keep him guessing and expecting too.
You can blind-fold him and use feathers for stimulous, or ice, warm (not hot) massage oil in sexually sensitive places, or a sharp object with a wheel of some sort - get a fabric marking wheel at the fabric store and this will work just as nice as a medical tool and may be cheaper/safer. Hey tie that penis up too, with scarves, your hair, clothesline, really fat black soft rope at Home Depot, or rough scratchy rope. There's always a well placed clothespin here or there ... hahaha !!! How about a cold vinyl pouch (hot water bottle perhaps) of some sort, filled with sand or ice to lay over his crotch area to cause pressure (not alot, just enough to feel the cool vinyl and keep him from causing his own action for a while. It will act as a bondage tool.). Let him know that you have control over his most prized possession and he can't even control that until you allow it.
If slapping him in the face is offensive to you, you might try growling and giving him a good slap on the rear or the back of the head where it's not so personally heart-breaking for you. Perhaps at some point you can find a way to slap where he wants or can look past your discomfort by training yourself to trust that it's something he needs and you desire to provide it.
I remember one night in our BDSM play, Master L. and I wound up in bed upstairs and were almost finished playing, when we both got so excited that we were growling at each other, and I ended up grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down on me. He responded with a like growl and we went at it for a few minutes like animals. It was one of the most intimate moments we'd ever had while together as Master/slave. I'll never forget it!
Well anyway, just a few ideas to perhaps help inspire some fun and romantic ideas of your own. Sometimes it just takes a spark to get a fire going and then you can blaze that new trail in front of you with ease. Keep it firmly romantic, firmly loving and firmly stimulating....smile.
As for me, I think I need a cold shower right about now ... LOL!!!
In Christ,
Romanticspice
http://www.romantic-spice.com
http://www.campbellstudio.biz
http://www.campbellstudio.ecrater.com
Ebay ID's: romantic-spice-com or lambs-one
|
|
|
|
