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Familly situations - 2/9/2008 4:36:08 PM   
face


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline 		Do people in your famillies know of your D/s situations.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 5:05:58 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		My daughter knows, though I talked to her much more about the psychological aspect than the physical.  (She is 25 and just wants to see me happy.)  My sister and her husband know, along with our two other housemates, and they accept it fully and applaud it.  I have chosen not to tell my father or my aunt.  I told the family members that mean the most to me and chose not to tell those who I felt would not understand and would simply disparage me.  I have had subs ask me if I would force them to "come out", and my answer is that it is a very personal thing and I would never force that.  However, I also don't believe in living a lie and know the burden it took off of me to share.

(in reply to face)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 5:07:59 PM   
face


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline 		Is your relationship vannilla around other people, eg your daughter.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 5:12:53 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		We sometimes talk about it or make jokes.  With my brother-in-law, he found my riding crop one day and actually asked me to use it on him to improve my technique.  Now it becomes a joke at family parties.  He loves telling people that I beat men.  He has also offered to be my photographer and my sister has offered me some of her clothing to wear, so they get involved in that way.  The gay man that lives here has even volunteered if a sub is interested in being humiliated by having someone suck his penis.  It is very open.

(in reply to face)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 5:22:52 PM   
DominaJayde


Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline 		My youngest daughter knows, it was discussed in our wide ranging talkfest when she came out to me as a lesbian, she thinks it's kind of funny and not for her, which is fine by me, my two oldest kids, both boys, I think they kind of guess, but probably prefer not to know for sure.  My ex husband knows, and blames my daughters lesbianism on it, My Mother knew, she didn't exactly dissaprove, but she wasnt  'three cheers' about it, but she did say before she died just recently that all she wanted was for me to happy.  My sisters do not know and I'll leave it that way.

DJ


_____________________________

letting go is a freedom in itself
http://fetishfandango.blogspot.com/

(in reply to face)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 5:49:15 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Some do, some don't.  My son knew it was my slave that lived here last year, my daughter thought it was a renter.  Some of the other family members do, some don't.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to DominaJayde)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 6:05:35 PM   
idontknowdou


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		no one in my family know at all this isnt something i can talk to them about heck dad would try to see if i had a mental problem since he has masters in pychiatry.

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 6:23:54 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		Well, my "family", i.e. those I share genetic heritage with, some know and some don't. My immediate relatives, mum and grandma, they've figured it out and largely choose to ignore it. Mum doesn't approve and chooses to believe i'm asexual, and gram just thinks I deseve my privacy.

My actualy family, i.e. the folks I choose to have around and invest in emotionally, they all know. I don't throw it in their faces, but it's just a part of who I am and it comes up every once in a while, just like any other personal topic (health, work, whatever). 

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 6:46:30 PM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		My dsaughters know.  My brother doesn't but he thinks I intimidate men and that's why I don't have one (as far as he knows :-).  He tries to hook me up with friends of his when I go home to Chicago and nothing comes of it.  He thinks I need to be more "nice" to them/  Should I tell him?  LOL!

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to aidan)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 6:48:36 PM   
VMistressV


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline 		I prefer to live a lie. And I barely ever see my family so it doesn't really effect how we interact. My friends know and react with a varying degree of supportiveness. Especially when we go shopping and my otherwise vanilla friends find things i never would have thought of to 'torutre" my sub. And end up learning alot about themselves.......

(in reply to aidan)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 10:16:09 PM   
TheLaughingDomme


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline 		My family is aware of My nature -heck, all the Women in My family are very strong, just without the labels! My Mother  (she'll be 77 this year) was on the phone with Me the other day and asked where I was off to- I told Her I was going to meet a new male sub. She just laughed and asked why I don't meet a 'normal' guy! My Friends & Family understand the importance of a D/s realtionship for Me and I equally respect their lifestyles. My coworkers know Me as demanding, but fair and compassionate, the same as in my bdsm relationships. I am very proud to be a strong, nurturing Woman that knows what I want from those around Me and am not afraid to communicate that. The more open we are with O/ourselves and O/others, the more liberating Y/your life can be! Why settle for anything less? XO

(in reply to VMistressV)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Familly situations - 2/9/2008 11:59:41 PM   
Aimtoplease101


Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline 		I keep my family out of it-- as far as I'm aware, they don't know at all.

Regards, ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to face)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 12:51:41 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Mum was a bit surprised when my marriage ended and I moved east with "the lodger" who is 15 years younger than me ... but she only wants my happiness and she KNOWS I am wayyyy happier now than I have been in years! So she has accepted it really well but doesn't know the D/s side ... she would be appalled at my calling any man Master LOL! She'd be far happier about My Domme side

My sister knows ... she is very open-minded and gay so was pretty easy to tell. My brother in England sort of guessed about the "menage a trois" as he called it, but as I never get a word in edgeways when he phones, I've not told him about the D/s LOL!

Close vanilla friends whom I see lots of and thought I might "goof" and call Master by that description in front of, or originally when hsub was calling Me Ma'am, were asked if they were willing to share an intimate secret. That was too much to resist for most of them so they were told, with emphasis on the D/s rather than the "whips and chains". They asked some very intelligent questions, then let it go, just accepting any titles that were used rather than names. One pair of friends said they'd rather not know, so they weren't told and we were extra careful around them!

My current concern is that i will goof when Master and i are singing onstage ... but i figure if i call Him Master there i will cover it by saying He is the Master guitarist of the group ... and He is!

Basically I think it comes down to working out (a) who you would like to know about it so you can be yourself around them and then (b) thinking about whether they are likely to freak or be open-minded about it, then (c) asking them if they want to know more, and finally (d) explaining it carefully (ie think about HOW you will explain it well ahead of time so you can be calm and confident rather than stuttering and anxious!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 1:19:54 AM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Most of my family doesn't live close enough to me to be a difficulty. My mom undoubtedly had more than a clue, but we never talked sex. She was very much a live-and-let-live person (she was perfectly cool about my Wiccan beliefs, and sometimes attended an open circle when invited).

Now, my sister...she and I have a fairly accepting-but-I-don't-want-the-details sort of relationship. Which made it very nearly hysterical last year...
it happened that my mother died in an escalator accident, and at the local munch a few weeks later, one gent after hearing about it and where (I was with her), told me that he had noted a mechanical misbehavior in that exact escalator, and, yes, he was willing to say so to our attorney (we were looking into wrongful death).

The funny part came at the attorney's office, when sis and I went in to meet with him. I told him how I heard this, and gave the contact info. And then (like an attorney in court), he pressed for details.
lawyer: "Where did you meet this guy?"
me: "At a social event."
lawyer: "What kind of a social event?"
me: "At a weekly networking & social meeting."
lawyer: "What kind of a meeting?"
me (giving up, and saying with a straight face): "Kinky."

Funny, he stopped asking stupid questions after that. Probably because he was blushing beet-red from the ears down. My sister's reaction, which I paid more heed to, was something like, "Oh, I didn't need to know that!"

She always was the more squeamish of the two of us.

Delilah Deb

(in reply to face)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 2:42:13 AM   
achildatheart


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		My family knows. They don't approve of it, but they know they can't change me. My mom likes to make jokes about it if he is being a butt head, she will say things like "you should bribe him to come over by letting him do the dishes" or "tell him the Dominatrix will beat him if he doesn't do blah blah blah." As long as we don't do it in the house they are ok.

My friend's know about it and think its funny. They know better to look on my computer screen now . I even got my friend into helping me do Sissy Play with my pet, because I am not good with doing peoples make up hehe.

_____________________________

"be a dominatrix geez.......make him do what he's told"~Friend

(in reply to DelilahDeb)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 4:35:04 AM   
jeffman1234


Posts: 61
Joined: 6/11/2004
Status: offline 		It is funny how when the truth be told, how many come out with there own hidden secrets. 

(in reply to achildatheart)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 4:41:28 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I admitted it to an old friend, not sure how he would react.  He is married and in his 60s, and it turns out that he has been playing internet Dom to certain sub women that want to get off for him.  LOL

(in reply to jeffman1234)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 5:05:56 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Yes - albeit by roundabout means.

I befriended a local couple whose adult daughter knew about their activities. It turned out their adult daughter was best friends with my second youngest (adult) sister - my sister even has her own sick bucket at my friends' house because of her renown for throwing up during parties there.

It took about 24 hours for my parents and family to find out via the two young ladies as to what was going on!

Doesnt bother me or them though. I suppose after the news I broke a few years back, nothing can surprise or shock any more!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 6:37:38 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Yes, I'm out to my mother and brother.  My mother had been in my dungeon I operated here in Philadelphia back in the late 90s.  My family also asks "Is this your boy or your boyfriend?" question when being introduced to a new male companion.  There are a few other family members -- cousins and such -- that are aware to some level of my involvement.  Being Ms World Leather didn't really do much to keep my life a secret LOL

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to face)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Familly situations - 2/10/2008 9:25:28 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I'm relatively "out" about my erotic interests, although these are seldom shared directly or discussed with anyone who is not supportive. The relatives who have referred to me as a pornographer and a Devil Worshipper can, of course, kiss my ass. 

My mother was the one who put the first cameras into my hands, when I told her I wanted to be an erotic photographer a few years ago.  She has known me and my various hijinx for so many years that nothing can shock her anymore.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 20
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